fbpx
Saturday, November 28, 2020

Coronavirus Infected Us With Romance, Dating Experts Say

Print This Article
https://jewishjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/jj_avatar.jpg
Ariel Sobelhttps://www.arielsobel.com/
Ariel Sobel is a TED talker, writer and Bluecat Screenplay Competition Winner.

Dating can be perilous at the best of times, but with COVID-19 shutdowns, finding romance has become even more difficult.

“I had been on three dates and it was going great, and then we got hit by this and it’s been reduced to texting,” Ariane Smith from Ann Arbor Michigan told the Journal

“While I am on the apps trying to talk to people, it feels really dry because we know there’s no possibility of meeting up,” Elisa Dickie, who is self-isolating in Buffalo, N.Y., said. “Skype dates are nice and all, but I don’t see any real connections coming from them because there’s no real connection or intimacy.”

However, Los-Angeles based Jewish cyber-dating expert Julie Spira believes the pandemic might actually be the perfect cure for dating woes. “This is actually a good thing,” Spira told the Journal. “We are looking at a slower process for dating, which prevents people from just ending up with a hookup and getting ghosted.”

As a dating coach, Spira said she finds that being intimate too quickly and being abandoned are the most common complaints among her clients. This outlook inspired her to launch “Dating in the Age of COVID-19,” a resource for singles who have given up on dating but not romance. She is even offering dress rehearsals for virtual dates.

“I’ve never seen dating become as creative as it is now. I’m watching people take on some really romantic gestures.” — Julie Spira

“The need right now to be connected is so heightened, whether that is with your friends or in romantic relationships,” Spira said. “People want to be in relationships, but they just can’t meet in person.”

Adam Rubin, who is social distancing in Los Angeles, is not throwing in the courtship towel just yet. “I was going to meet up with a girl from JSwipe, but now we’ve just been chatting,” he said. “It’s postponed our meet-up but we haven’t canceled it.”

For singles skeptical of uploading their dating life, Spira said, “They need to realize everyone is in a long-distance relationship now, regardless of where that other person’s ZIP code is.”

“They need to realize everyone is in a long-distance relationship now, regardless of where that other person’s ZIP code is.”

Nevertheless, she added she believes the coronavirus might unlock a romantic renaissance. “I’ve never seen dating become as creative as it is now,” Spira said. “I’m watching people take on some really romantic gestures: sending food deliveries so you can dine together on Zoom, talking about going on a vacation someday and each picking out a city as they explore virtual tours of museums in the locations, shared playlists on Spotify.”

Even dating services are getting more creative. “I was expecting lockdowns in the United States well before they were announced, so we launched a virtual dating initiative pretty early on. Now we’re shifting our resources to building video chat features,” Ben Rabizadeh, the CEO of JWed, a dating service for Jewish singles, told the Journal. “We are building right now something to be able to schedule a date, to make it more formal so people can build anticipation for dates.” He also envisions developing gaming and virtual gifting features.

Source: Flat Vector Illustration

For Steph Black, who works for the National Council of Jewish Women in Washington, D.C., the pandemic has seen her fast track her romantic relationship, with her girlfriend moving in. “Relationships are moving faster due to the crisis,” since singles now have fewer distractions from each other, Spira noted. To those who are sheltering-in and shacking up, Logan Levkoff, a sexuality and relationship guru, told the Journal, “It is hard to blend lives into one space, no matter how big or small that space is … If you’re doing it, you need to leave room for people to mess up and make mistakes.”

All-in-all, making mindful decisions in a pandemic could mean facing less personal judgment, Levkoff said. “Consenting adults get to make any decisions they want about when they want to have sex, how they want to have sex, whether it’s on the first date or 10th date or whatever. That being said, the inability to connect physically takes the pressure off the question of ‘When am I supposed to?’ and ‘Will I be judged for it?’

As COVID-19 cripples our world with restrictions, the virus appears to be doing the opposite for lovers.

As COVID-19 cripples our world with restrictions, the virus appears to be doing the opposite for lovers, according to Spira. “Virtual dating was something in the past that people really didn’t embrace, because they felt, ‘Oh, my lighting is not good’ or ‘I’m going to have a bad hair day’ or ‘I will look better in person.’ Well, right now, everyone is having a bad hair day,” she said, adding the pandemic has lifted deal breakers such as looks, age and physical distance.

Levkoff concurred. “This is an opportunity for us to date outside of our type, to push ourselves to connect with types of people that we wouldn’t have done earlier,” he said. “When we’re operating in big social circles, we often think we are supposed to want what the person next to us wants. Now, we get to be authentic.”


Ariel Sobel is the Journal’s social media editor.

Did you enjoy this article?

You'll love our roundtable.

Enjoyed this article?

You'll love our roundtable.

Select list(s) to subscribe to


By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: Jewish Journal, 3250 Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA, 90010, http://www.jewishjournal.com. You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact

Giving Season

Eight Degrees of Giving Help Both Sides for Jews

Human nature is to desire to be self-sufficient. Most of us are uncomfortable being takers and prefer earning our own keep. If, due to dire circumstances, we find ourselves on the receiving end, our reaction is generally one of mortification. The Torah is acutely sensitive to the precarious dynamic between patrons and their beneficiaries. The Torah's word for the act of giving to the needy, tzedakah, although commonly translated as "charity," more accurately means "justice."

In Giving, How Much Does Type of Communication Matter?

This article originally appeared in the Pittsburgh Jewish Chronicle. To Roi Mezare, fundraising is really about relationships. “Without a meaningful relationship there is not going to...

Two Phrases That May Explain Why Giving Comes Naturally

Two women pass a beggar on the street. They have the same income and expenses. The first weeps at the suffering of the beggar and gives him $5 out of the goodness of her heart. The second notices but rushes past. Later in the day, however, she feels compelled because of her religious beliefs and returns to give the beggar $100. Who is the better person? Why are Jews so generous?

Latest Articles

From Darkness to Wisdom — Thoughts on Torah Portion Vayeitzei 2020

I can imagine Jacob justifiably bemoaning his fate as he trudges toward Paddam Aram. Jacob was the one, the Bible tells us, who was...

Obama’s Revisionist ‘Promised Land’

His memoir, A Promised Land, is filled with historical inaccuracies that I feel the need to address.

Past Tensions Between Biden, Erdoğan Cast Shadow Over Ankara-Washington Relations

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan is bracing for a stormy four years.

How Yeshiva Prepared Me To Excel in Secular Education

As a former yeshiva student, it’s challenging balancing higher education, a high-tech career and a significant emphasis on Torah study.

Theology of Thanksgiving: Whom Shall We Thank?

We must give up either Divine power or Divine goodness.

Will the Pandemic Trigger the Next Jewish Revolution?

As we experience an unprecedented global pandemic, more Jews than at any other time in history are being exposed to Jewish platforms of culture,...

Rosner’s Torah Talk: Parsha Vayetze with Tzvia Rubens

Tzvia Rubens, of Hebrew Union in Ohio, is our guest this week, and we discuss Parshat Vayetze which begins when Jacob leaves Canaan and journeys to Charan. On...

The Lucas Project: How You Can Help Boys with ALD

Lucas' Story When Lucas was 3 months old we were notified that he tested...

This Thanksgiving, I’m Grateful to Councilmember David E. Ryu

I dedicate this column to thanking Councilmember David Ryu of Los Angeles’s fourth district.

A Time to Redefine Thanksgiving and A Time to Reclaim It

A year ago, we were in a dilemma about what to do with too much and too many. This year, our dilemma is what to do, period.

Culture

Breathing New Life Into A Thanksgiving Pumpkin Tradition

Why stick with the ordinary pumpkin when you can accessorize into a whole line of winter squashes with far more panache?

MOTs Score Grammy Nominations

This year’s nominees include several Members of the Tribe, including Jerry Seinfeld, Tiffany Haddish, Rachel Maddow and Spike Jonze, in categories that reflect their particular talents.

Donations of Appreciated Stock Unlock Charitable Currency, Bring Fulfillment

A few years ago, the Jewish Community Foundation of Los Angeles (The Foundation) ran an advertisement with an attention-grabbing headline: To open a charitable...

Giving Thanks for the Yummiest Holiday Ever

Little 7 year old me arrived in Los Angeles from Casablanca one week before Halloween. My uncle took me to get a costume and...

An Unconventional Holiday Season

Last Passover, my mom, my sister and I sat at our kitchen table and ate thick slices of New York pizza. “We are bad Jews,”...

Latest Articles
Latest

From Darkness to Wisdom — Thoughts on Torah Portion Vayeitzei 2020

I can imagine Jacob justifiably bemoaning his fate as he trudges toward Paddam Aram. Jacob was the one, the Bible tells us, who was...

Obama’s Revisionist ‘Promised Land’

His memoir, A Promised Land, is filled with historical inaccuracies that I feel the need to address.

Past Tensions Between Biden, Erdoğan Cast Shadow Over Ankara-Washington Relations

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan is bracing for a stormy four years.

How Yeshiva Prepared Me To Excel in Secular Education

As a former yeshiva student, it’s challenging balancing higher education, a high-tech career and a significant emphasis on Torah study.

Theology of Thanksgiving: Whom Shall We Thank?

We must give up either Divine power or Divine goodness.

Hollywood

‘Oslo’ Drama Underway from Steven Spielberg, Marc Platt

Steven Spielberg, Mark Platt and David Litvak are bringing the J.T. Rogers’ Tony Award-winning play “Oslo,” about the 1993 Israeli-Palestinian Peace Accords, to HBO....

‘Valley of Tears’ Tells Harrowing Stories of the 1973 Yom Kippur War

As Yom Kippur began in 1973, attacks by Syria and Egypt took Israel by surprise, launching a 19-day war in which more than 10,000...

Sophia Loren Plays a Holocaust Survivor in ‘The Life Ahead’

In her first feature film since “Nine” in 2009, screen legend Sophia Loren plays a Holocaust survivor who takes in motherless children in “The...

Podcasts

David L. Graizbord: The New Zionists

Shmuel Rosner and David L. Graizbord discuss his new book, The New Zionists: Young American Jews, Jewish National Identity, and Israel. David Graizbord is an...

Pandemic Times Episode 107: Some deep reflections before Thanksgiving

New David Suissa Podcast Every Tuesday and Friday. A conversation with Danielle Ames Spivak, CEO of American Friends of the Israel Philharmonic. How do we manage...

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.

x