Pursued By a Cheater

Dear Yenta,

I am a college student living in the dorms. Last week, I met one of my friend’s roommates at a campus celebration. A bunch of us were hanging out and this guy (I’ll call him B.) was talking to me a bit, etc. After the party, he added me on Facebook and started talking to me on Facebook chat right away, commenting on what I had been wearing and asking me a bunch of questions. (This guy, by the way, is SUPER attractive.)

Over the past week, we have talked a lot online and hung out once in person (but we were with his roommates as well), but he always tells me that I should come visit and is pretty blatant about hitting on me. Last night I was hanging out with some of his roommates and someone spilled that B. is moving out of their apartment and in with his girlfriend. (Apparently they had broken up and recently got back together.) WHOA—SHOCK.

He has never mentioned having a girlfriend to me. By chance, right after I found out, he messaged me on Facebook chat, and when he found out that I had been with his roommates, he asked why I didn’t come say hi. He doesn’t know that I know about his girlfriend and his move-out plans, so I carried on a short, polite, relatively banal conversation, even though I wanted to ask him point-blank about the girlfriend and us. Nothing has happened between us (thank goodness) except some flirting, because I wanted to take it slowly (I am a little bit weary of pretty boys), but I developed a pretty bad crush and the messages he was sending me made it seem like he was interested too. I don’t know if I should ask him about the girlfriend or let our little flirting game go on or cut him out of my life completely. I’m sure I can get over him quickly because I haven’t known him for that long, but I feel really hurt and betrayed and don’t know what to do. Please help!

Thanks!

-Crush Has a Girlfriend

Dear CHAG,

There is nothing worse than feeling amorous towards a seductive man and then suddenly learning he is taken. This sucks on so many levels, but the worst level is that you liked him, he jump-started your heart, and then it turns out his integrity is down the tubes. That is a sad dating moment.

According to “>Spa World and stop Facebook chatting with the mofo. He can hit you up all he wants, but you really need to guard your own and not worry about him. Maybe he would one day be a friend, but I doubt it. Cultivating a community of friends is a deliberate and important act, not one built on a foundation of deception, lies, and manipulative behavior.

This guy sounds like the dumps. The sooner you cut him loose, the sooner you have space in your heart to welcome new, pretty, kind AND truthful suitors into your court.

According to “>www.send-email.org to ask anonymously.