For people who have spent years hitting the gym regularly, workouts can seem like just one more thing to tick off a daily to-do list in order to stay healthy.
But, for couples, exercise can be more than clocking time on a treadmill — it can be a way to bond and develop common interests, and to see one another in a new light.
“Any time you do something that you enjoy together, it makes you connect,” said psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser, author of the self-help book “How to Be a Grown-Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know” (Thomas Nelson, 2005). “Plus, exercising makes you feel good on its own, and doing things that make you feel good also helps your relationship.”
And couples who are interested in doing more together than sitting on the couch watching movies have endless options. Looking for an adrenaline rush? Take your beloved to a flying trapeze class. Hoping to get grounded and reconnect? Hit the mat together in yoga. Want to release some anger? Duke it out with a punching bag.
Whatever you decide, exercising as a couple means that the hour spent working up a sweat isn’t just about getting fit — it’s about working on your relationship, too.
Flying Trapeze
Once relegated to circus performers and stuntmen, flying trapeze rigs have made their way into cities as workouts for thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies.
During the first visit to a trapeze class, says Ryan Smith, an instructor at Trapeze School New York’s Santa Monica location, couples don’t fly trapeze together — they’re paired with an experienced instructor.
But watching as your partner faces the daunting task of climbing a 25-foot ladder and then launching him- or herself into the air can let you see a new side of someone you thought you knew.
“You can see how they adapt to something new, step up to challenges and how much they are willing to face the unknown,” Smith said.
And overcoming the nerves that go hand-in-hand with something like trapeze, Kaiser adds, can also serve as an intimate bonding experience.
“Sharing that fear and excitement together makes people lean on each other,” she said.
Watching your partner overcome something difficult can also increase your respect and admiration.
“You have that person you care about witnessing you accomplishing things,” Smith said. “It’s above and beyond normal life.”
Yoga
Lying on a yoga mat may not have the same rush of adrenaline offered by taking a sky-high swing, but, says Sari Stricke, an L.A.-area yoga instructor and owner of Sari Yoga, it offers couples a different kind of bonding experience.
“It’s some peaceful, quiet time together” during which couples can experience “just being together in a present way,” she said.
Stricke generally conducts partner yoga classes much the same way that she would with other private or semi-private classes: “For the most part, they are practicing on their own, but together,” she said.
At times, Stricke said, practicing yoga with your partner can feel more intimate than talking.
“They are able to tune in to each other in a way that doesn’t involve the regular ‘what are you thinking, what do you mean by that’ kind of communication.”
While it may be tempting for couples to compare themselves to one another, yoga also serves as a way to reinforce individuality within a relationship.
“One person may need a quiet, restorative class, while the other might want to have a more invigorating, energizing class,” she said. “I try to help my students to turn their attention on one’s own personal journey.”
Boxing
The idea of boxing as a couple may be tempting for those who are tired of talking and just want to battle it out.
But, says Barbara Forsey, the owner of Tarzana Boxing, there’s more to the sport than throwing punches in the ring. At her gym, couples often hold punching bags for each other or don punch mitts for the other to swing at.
“Working together, whether with mitts or the bags, there is a dance, there’s a coordination, there’s a movement together,” she said. “I think all of that adds up to recognizing some areas that you never thought about in terms of your partner.”
As with trapeze or yoga, watching your partner build strength and endurance can be enticing and can expand your understanding of him or her as well as of yourself.
“I think that creates an admiration and a deep level of interest,” Forsey said, “and I think it also adds greatly to real intimacy.”
