It’s not everyone that can pinpoint the event when their life’s course was altered. For Jeffrey Weiss, the answer to that question is easy: when he was a little boy growing up in New York’s Greenwich Village in the 1960s, a friend’s death had a profound impact on his future. Ever since, he’s dedicated his life to improving the world — one person at a time.
For the past 26 years, Weiss has served as a Jewish Big Brother, enriching the lives of numerous boys with wide-ranging needs and interests.
Weiss’s story begins in the early ‘60s when he was four years old and met a new friend, Pooh Bear (his legal name). Pooh, an only child, and Jeff, the only child of a single mom, quickly became best friends. When the two Jewish boys were eight years old, they would go out with their mothers, knocking on doors, holding small boxes and explaining they were collecting money to plant trees in Israel. “Pooh Bear was passionate about it, and he liked it a lot more than I did,” Weiss said.
When Pooh Bear was 10 years old, he and his parents were killed by a drunk driver in a car accident “My best friend,” Weiss said. “I was devastated.” For the foreseeable future, young Jeff was too afraid to step into a car. Disconsolate, he went to Baltimore to spend time with his grandmother; they wrote poetry together and made sculptures. One day they went to Washington, D.C.
Among the historical sights they visited was an exhibit dedicated to President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. It was here — while learning about first lady Eleanor Roosevelt — that Weiss realized how he would live his life. “I stood before Eleanor Roosevelt’s bust, and my grandmother read the words below: ‘When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die,’” he said. The words were like a lightning strike, because this had been his dead friend’s goal.
“All Pooh Bear wanted was to help people,” he said. “He was passionate about trees for Israel. He said the world would be a better place if we all just planted trees.” The words of the first lady brought sudden clarity out of the fog of mourning. “I told my family from that point, everything I would do would have some level of contribution,” he said. “When I hear successful persons speak about how they achieved their goals,” he said, “they all have different paths. However, they agree upon one point: You need to give back to others in life for what you have accomplished.”
Weiss had been married to a woman he met while at college, but after 18 years, they were divorced. “I wanted children,” he said. “But you can’t force them. My fix for not having a child in my life was to become a Big Brother.”
Weiss, who joined Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters of Los Angeles in 1996, said that being a Big Brother “has been a total joy, and a learning experience. I have five kids (Little Brothers range in age from six to 18) whom I have helped grow up and mentor through the years.”
“I had Mordy from the age of nine until 18, when he went to college. At the moment, he is a rabbi in New York with a wife and three kids.”
A dapper man who favors fedoras and three-piece suits, Weiss is quick with a smile, and brightens when talking about his first Little Brother, from 1996. “I had Mordy from the age of nine until 18, when he went to college. At the moment, he is a rabbi in New York with a wife and three kids.”
Weiss’ current Little (that’s how they refer to themselves, as Big and Little) is kind of in limbo because “Illiya, my latest one, is at Santa Monica College. When you are 21 you are out of the program, and they are trying to find a new (Little) for me.”
Weiss was clear about the distinction between a Big Brother and a parent. “It’s night and day,” he said. “A Big Brother and a Big Sister are here to give support, to give you comfort, to spend time with you. These kids come from different kinds of homes and backgrounds. I am not there to act as a boy’s father.” All of Weiss’s kids have addressed him as Jeffrey. “Every outing with these kids has been a learning process,” he said.
He explained how a Big and a Little get together: “A social worker will call and say ‘I have a boy I am thinking of for you.’ The social workers are matchmakers. If I am interested in that person, we schedule a meeting. If there is a connection in the meeting, they go back and talk to the parents and the kid.
“The social workers see if there is a solid match. If they see there is a synergy, they match us.”
For Weiss, the most rewarding moment is not something that happens in an instant but over time. “It is to see that you have affected a human life in a positive way – that I have made my contribution, as Eleanor Roosevelt said,” he said.
Weiss owns two companies, Advantage Video Systems — which he said has built 250 television stations, also production and post-production companies — and The Preparedness Network, which helps companies prepare for disasters and also conducts active-shooter training sessions.
In addition to his time as a Big Brother, Weiss, a former chef, said he has built more than 100 houses for Habitat for Humanity, and spends two days each week at a Sikh temple making food for homeless people.
Asked if his work with Jewish Big Brothers/Sisters compensated for not having had children, he quickly replied: “To an extent. But nothing can take the place of your real child.”
“I still am in communication with all of them. We are part of each other’s lives forever.”
As for his five Little Brothers, Weiss casts their relationship as “a lifelong thing. I am still in communication with all of them. We are part of each other’s lives forever.”
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