So many of us have had the good fortune to never have experienced living amidst the sights and sounds of war. To hear the explosions of bombs and see the smoke and fire of their impact is unknown to America since the Civil War. Yes, targeted and horrific destruction on 9/11 and an unbelievable Oklahoma disaster have occurred, but as a whole we as a people have lived in a kind of calm and predictability that our people in Israel have not known. The ongoing reality of hyper-vigilance is most devastating to being a fully functioning human being. It undermines equanimity and a sense of wholeness and seems to be the backdrop to daily life in Israel. 

Since Oct 7 the shock of truly being that vulnerable, along with the grief of so much carnage and death, must be an overwhelming cloud to live under. The result of meting out the blasphemous enemies and danger that lurks in the hidden recesses of Gaza and surrounding countries also brings a double-edge sword, a feeling of abominable strength and mighty warriors, as well as the constant awareness of unnecessary deaths of innocent civilians, the unintended consequences that war brings. In the eyes of the world, we are both the innocent and the guilty. That is a war no one can win, one Jews have known in their kishkes full well for a very long time.

So once again fear and uncertainty rise to the surface. In order to be safe and secure, being the aggressor seems to be necessary. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness comes at a horrific price in Israel – it means quelling the capacity of the enemy’s ability to destroy Israel. The irony that the enormous stress and anxiety of living becomes part having to protect oneself. When will the people of Israel truly live with Shleymut, wholeness, and Shalom, peace?

And yet the enormous accomplishments our people have achieved is astounding. Whether in the sciences, technology, agriculture, intellect, art, and music, Israel stands amongst others of the world, despite the trauma and impact on their psycho-emotional-spiritual lives. The Haggadah teaches “we must experience being ‘as if,’ ‘ki ilu,’ we are the slaves of Egypt who became free.” The principle of “ki ilu” means having empathy so you can feel what another feels, truly “walking in their shoes.” 

At this moment I sit here feeling “as if” I too am hunkered down, perhaps in a safe room or together with neighbors or family, trying to stay safe, praying for an end to the terrifying reality of war and for the safety of all those in a small country just wanting to live in harmony and fulfillment of the Gdly gifts we each have received. “I will give to you the land…for an everlasting possession…” is Gd’s promise. Now we pray we can keep it and live in it in peace!

At this moment I sit here feeling “as if” I too am hunkered down, perhaps in a safe room or together with neighbors or family, trying to stay safe, praying for an end to the terrifying reality of war. 

In such harrowing moments we must feel “as if,” we too are like those bullied and threatened, attempting to find a solution that will secure the safety and longevity of a tiny country that just wants to fulfill the dreams of its people – to live with purpose and meaning and express the Gd spark that each possesses. A nurse who comes to our home to assist my husband said the other day, “my family in Iran are overjoyed at what Israel is doing for maybe this will lead to new leadership and a better life.” Perhaps bringing our people a sense of security will also liberate others.

Even in the midst of American turmoil, challenges, and disharmony, our hearts are full of sadness and concerns, empathizing with our fellow Jews on the brink of “life and death,” the existential reality so potent in Israel. We feel “as if,’“we were once slaves and now “as if” we might truly become free.

A Prayer in Times of Uncertainty

Ribbono Shel Olam,

At a moment when our people need a steady rock, a ‘Tzur,’ to cling to.

Fill each of us with Your Holy Presence and with the light of hope.

                  Guide us towards good counsel and wise decisions.

Bless us with inner strength and resilience in such moments of unknowns,

                  And the need to surrender to one another for support and care.

Be an inspiration for trust and faith, Emunah,

                  And embrace us all with Shleymut, wholeness, and Shalom, peace.

Baruch Atah Adonai v’At Shechinah, Who hold us and lift us in moments of uncertainty.

Eva Robbins is a rabbi, cantor, artist and the author of “Spiritual Surgery: A Journey of Healing Mind, Body and Spirit.”