A friend’s child remarked that he would be saddened to see his mother cry at his Bar Mitzvah. When she cries, he feels her emotions.
She and I both tried to explain that tears are good. Good tears. But we both realized the tears were certainly good in the sense of celebration and joy in witnessing a monumental milestone. But the tears did, in fact, carry a sense of sadness. Sadness in knowing that everyone is growing up—her child maturing through a rite of passage and she as the adult, now old enough to have a teenager.
Bittersweet tears that recognize the abounding exhilaration that pairs with watching a child come of age. Bittersweet tears that also hold space for the whispers of childhood nestling into memories of yesterday. Good, sad tears.
Our tradition doesn’t wave tears goodbye. Emotion is welcomed. The Talmud laments the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and explains that with its ruin, the gates of prayer were locked. However, the gates of tears were always open. Never closed. Signaling those who cry are always within God’s embrace.
May we find ourselves in moments that warrant the stirring of our hearts. The ability to watch another grow up. The blessing in ourselves, getting older. And through it all, feeling tears on our cheeks. Good, sad tears.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Nicole Guzik is senior rabbi at Sinai Temple. She can be reached at her Facebook page at Rabbi Nicole Guzik or on Instagram @rabbiguzik. For more writings, visit Rabbi Guzik’s blog section from Sinai Temple’s website.
