Shari Foos’s nonprofit, The Narrative Method, addresses the crisis of loneliness by connecting people to their stories and creative expression.
“[Before] reaching outside of your circle, invite yourself to think deeply, get clear on something that matters to you,” therapist Foos, MA/MFT/MS, told the Journal. “Then when you bring that very subject to someone else … it can really lead to rich conversations.”
Now in its tenth year, The Narrative Method offers free online salons five days a week and interviews with interesting people, programs for communities in need and more. One of the events they offer is called the library dinner, and it can happen at a library, in a public space or at someone’s home.
“Everyone meets at this space and goes away for one hour and learns something, anything,” she said. “[Then] everyone has a lovely dinner and goes around and shares what they’ve learned; it’s a fascinating experience of just exchanging what seems to be impromptu knowledge and information.”
Foos, a former punk rock musician, radio and TV writer, comedian, university professor and co-founder of IKAR-LA, added, “It’s really fun, and it’s a great way for people to get to know each other on a whole other level.”
At one of these events, Foos spent her time talking to a janitor in the hallway.
“It was something that happened organically, and it was a wonderful exchange,” she said. “Nothing makes me more excited than dealing with really diverse people who I wouldn’t have gotten to meet otherwise.”
These dinners also allow participants to skip the small talk and get right into the big ideas.
“It’s not, ‘What’s your favorite color?’ or anything like that, they just go right to the quick … questions that deal with really profound issues as well as funny issues,” she said. “That bonding, especially because it’s with a stranger, is really kind of a holy experience.”
When asked about where the food piece comes in, Foos said being Jewish is a huge part of it. The other part: “Now to brag, but I’ve been a really good eater throughout my life,” she said. “I love eating; I love what meals do.”
Foos has hosted “zillions” of dinners for the purpose of just sitting with people and having one conversation, She also started to create prompts to take people quickly and instantly into a deeper connection.
For a variety of reasons Foos doesn’t cook much. However, she shared a recipe for Cinnamon Surprise Cake, created by her son and his cousin in 2001. They were six and seven at the time. This inexact recipe, which you can find below, really illustrates the joy and creativity that can go into cooking and baking.
The recipe instructs you to, “Bake at 400 degrees for two games of Pac Man and six hand clapping games,” Foos said. “What I love about this recipe is not only that it’s really good, it’s so engaging in a way that only a child could imagine.”
While you can join one of The Narrative Method’s events, you can also create online and in-person experiences of your own.
“Invite a few friends and you can use our [prompts] or you can use [your own conversation starter] that gives everyone a chance to go around and share,” she said.
For example, take a quote that you find inspiring and ask everyone to introduce themselves by saying their first name and responding to it. This, as opposed to saying, “I grew up here and I’m this old and blah, blah, blah. and that’s my job,” she said.
The responses may surprise you by being incredibly profound, flip or emotional.
“Don’t jump in on them, don’t finish their sentences, don’t do anything; just be in a state of wonder,” she said. “An experience of your senses … enjoying [food and conversations] with other people… is such a thrill.”
Enjoy!
Learn more and sign up for their programs at TheNarrativeMethod.org and follow @TheNarrativeMethod.comon Instagram.
For the full conversation, listen to the podcast:
Henry & Zack Foos’ Cinnamon Surprise Cake
(6/23/2001)
First Bowl: Mix apple sauce with melted butter. Add brown sugar and cinnamon
Second Bowl: Make icing by mixing melted butter and powdered sugar
Challah
Chocolate Chips
Cherries
Put the contents of the first bowl in holes between the braids in the challah. Cover with tin foil to prevent toasting.
Bake at 400 degrees for 2 games of Pacman and 6 hand-clapping games.
When out of the oven, ice the sides with frosting. Serve hot with whipped cream. Top with chocolate chips and cherries.
Debra Eckerling is a writer for the Jewish Journal and the host of “Taste Buds with Deb.” Subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform. Email Debra: tastebuds@jewishjournal.com.
