Jews are terrible mockers.
We leave mocking for the standup comics, especially when they must deal with those pesky hecklers.
I consider Jew-haters and Israel-haters the worst kind of hecklers.
They spew out stupid stuff to show what good haters they are.
They love words with three syllables: genocide and apartheid are words of choice. They’ll make an exception for colonizers and occupiers, which have one extra syllable.
When they need to put phrases together, one of their go-to lines is “Globalize the intifada.” They especially like “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” because it rhymes.
One thing to remember about Jew-hating and Israel-hating hecklers is that they really believe the world belongs to them.
Have you ever seen the hysterical look on their faces? Hitchcock could have put a film together with those looks. They’re at the intersection of fury and frenzy.
They’ve been in frenzy heaven since Oct. 7, 2023.
Finally, after decades of wishing for Israel’s demise, they saw a ray of hope; they smelled a little Zionist blood. That Hamas attack, after all, was no ordinary terror incident. It was a bloody invasion that humiliated the all-powerful Zionist occupiers.
But wait, there’s more.
After Israel fought back, the haters managed to get much of the world on their side.
Yup, much of the world—including some of the cool folks in Hollywood—are now convinced Israel committed genocide.
Sit with that for a few seconds. Genocide. What Nazis did to the Jews 85 years ago Jews are now accused of doing to Palestinians.
Of course it’s a lie. Of course it’s a libel.
But when you’re an experienced hater, all that matters is that the lie has a nice ring to it. And these days, haters know that anything against Israel has a nice ring to it. It even boosts their following!
Another thing to note about Jew-haters is that nothing can stop them. No condemnation, no calling out, no consequence, no outrage, no petitions, no calling of the cops will get them to stop. That only pumps them up. We got them on the run!
When I was an accidental street fighter in my youth (yes, there were Jew-haters in Montreal), I noticed that one thing haters really hated was when we made fun of them. It wasn’t enough to throw punches. We needed to add a little mockery. Mocking someone can crush their soul.
Maybe it’s time to mock the Jew-haters.
Maybe it’s time to match their bravado with some of our own, and show the world that no matter what “intifada” they throw at us, the Jews and Israel aren’t going anywhere.
I’m throwing the ridiculous “Globalize the enchilada” meme into the mix because when I said it to my friend over dinner, she laughed for like five minutes, and she doesn’t usually laugh for more than a few seconds.
We’ve tried the loud and serious approach in our fight against Jew-haters, showing appropriate anger, outrage and determination. We’ve been doing it for years. For some reason, though, it only seems to make them bolder and stronger.
Antisemitism is a deadly serious issue. We should never make light of it. But it’s also deadly serious that no matter what we’ve done to fight it, the disease just keeps getting worse.
When we make a public fuss over Jew-haters, we unwittingly honor them with publicity. They love that. It makes them more popular.
Shouldn’t it be a goal of ours to make them less popular?
What I’m saying is this: We can continue to do what we’re doing, but at the very least let’s add some new weapons to our fight, like humor. It’s not as if we have anything to lose.
Mocking the haters keeps them off balance. It makes them less cool.
It also gives us a little swagger. Instead of looking like frightened victims, we get our mojo back.
Comics have swagger. When they use humor to speak the truth, it gets through for the simple reason that people love to laugh.
Let’s get Elon Gold, Modi, Mark Schiff, Jeff Ross and Jerry Seinfeld together for one afternoon and see what they come up with.
I wouldn’t want to be a heckler in front of that crowd.
