Planning to Send Your Kids to School this Fall? It’s Complicated

On July 13, the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) announced that fall classes would be online only because of the  COVID-19 pandemic. In the weeks that followed, many local private schools, including Jewish ones, followed suit.

“I need a hug,” texted one friend — a mother of two — after hearing the news. Another friend who has three kids and one on the way, was more direct. “I’m hyperventilating,” she said.

Most parents are scrambling to prepare for the coming months. No one wants to risk getting sick if school reopens, but with most kids home since March, there’s only so much parents can take. The dilemma reminds me of Eleanor’s Roosevelt’s wise words: “You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

I have friends who are single mothers who are overwhelmed with work and have to take care of their kids. I have friends with special needs children who really need access to in-person resources and teachers. And I have friends with an immuno-compromised child.

“My son’s lungs are a disaster,” one friend wrote in an email, “so I had to quit my job as a teacher and pull all of my kids out of school. I’ll be home-schooling them this year.”

Home-schooling might be effective, but online classes can’t compare with in-person classes, especially for those with many children who can afford only one computer or tablet. Not to mention the families that can’t afford a computer or lack internet access. How are they supposed to hold out hope that their kids won’t fall behind?

After the LAUSD announcement, some local mothers took to social media to call for protests outside the home of Mayor Eric Garcetti, even though the mayor’s office has no jurisdiction over LAUSD.

Our children, ages 4 and 2, are young enough to be enrolled in an early childhood program at a local Jewish school, which is scheduled to open this month. Weeks ago, we received a “Guide to Reopening” that outlined the school’s plans on issues ranging from mitigating the spread of COVID-19 to what will happen if a teacher or student is exposed to the virus.

My husband and I feel blessed to have access to this amazing school, but I’m already anticipating a lot of anxiety the first time our kids come home with a sneeze or a cough, which is bound to happen because fall is the start of cold and flu season. It’s possible that schools will shut down at the first sign of someone with a fever, so I hope I can persuade our 2-year-old to sit through Zoom sessions.

I imagine picking up our kids on the first day of school and spraying them with a big bottle of isopropyl alcohol before they get in the car, and then cringing when they kiss me. “How was school today?” I’ll ask as I wipe my face and the inside of my nostrils with Clorox wipes.

If we pull our kids out of school this fall, there’s little chance they could re-enroll later, which means they’d stay at home with me until next fall. The thought of that makes me want to hide in a cave with a case of wine.

Some parents are exploring the option of small “pods,” in which groups of 5-10 kids meet either in a backyard or a park, with a teacher and a few supervisors. But like all in-person classes, even pods will shut down quickly if a child, parent or teacher shows symptoms of COVID-19.

“I feel like everyone’s physical health is being pitted against my mental health,” said one friend, who has four kids, over the phone last week. I told her I’d support any decision she makes and assured her I’d make some extra room in the cave.

Tabby Refael is a Los Angeles-based writer and speaker.