Curiosity Can Change Our Communal Discourse

Throughout these past months as I have been reciting the Kaddish in memory of my dear mother, I have been reflecting on her life and the values she instilled in me and my siblings. One of her defining attributes – cited by many, and especially needed in today’s day and age – is sakranut, curiosity. 

Growing up, and continuing throughout adulthood, whenever we would discuss something, Mama would always present the other side of an argument, decision, idea, etc.  Some might call that “playing the devil’s advocate,” but really it was far from anything devilish; my mother challenged us to expand our horizons and to always consider and value other perspectives, experiences, or thoughts. This practice, unfortunately, appears to be lacking in much of our society today.

She would have really enjoyed a symposium I was recently privileged to attend, which focused on ”viewpoint diversity” in our community today.  Convened by the Maimonides Fund, colleagues from across the Jewish communal landscape learned from each other and from respected thought leaders as we considered the increasing polarization of civic – and communal – debate.

Rabbi David Wolpe, senior advisor at Maimonides Fund and Max Webb Senior Rabbi at Sinai Temple in Los Angeles, anchored the discussion in core Jewish values, including machloket l’shem shamayim – argument for the sake of Heaven.  As a people, we have spent thousands of years discussing and debating everything, and, most importantly, learning how to listen and respect each other’s opposing viewpoints. The Talmud itself embodies this as each page is filled with different and almost always conflicting opinions and interpretations of each line, phrase, and word.

Haidt observed how social media has destroyed our ability to see the other side and to open our minds to opposing points.

Jonathan Haidt, Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University’s Stern School of Business and noted co-author of “The Coddling of the American Mind:  How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure,” commented on the changing culture on college campuses and its effect on mental health.  He observed how social media has destroyed our ability to see the other side and to open our minds to opposing points of view. 

I participated in several small-group discussions exploring the growing challenge in Jewish communal organizations, where we strive to balance multiple stakeholders with multiple perspectives in increasingly divided communities.  How can we discuss Israel in a constructive way with diverse points of view?  How do we best respond to antisemitism in the context of protected speech, especially on college campuses today?

As a society, we seem to have become so mistrustful and polarized we miss the gray and nuance.  We have forgotten how to have constructive conversations.  We seem unable or unwilling to respect individuals when we might disagree with their positions.  

Unfortunately, this lack of civility has also been part of our Jewish history. A few weeks ago on Tisha B’Av, we mourned among many tragedies, the destruction of Jerusalem due to sinat chinam (baseless hatred) between our brothers and sisters, who abandoned a basic tenet of Judaism: respecting diversity in civil discourse.

I feel fortunate to see some signs of hope in my daily work.  At Jewish camps across North America, the observance of Tisha B’Av helps convey critical lessons in character development, where chanichim (campers) and madrichim (counselors) create intentional communities away from home each summer.  By fostering an environment of belonging, diversity, learning, and curiosity, Jewish camps help to model our collective Jewish future.

We will soon enter the final month of the Jewish year – Elul.  We begin our preparations for Rosh Hashannah and a fresh start with renewed positivity and possibility.  We all need relief from the negativity, polarization, and exhaustion of our current civic debate.  Perhaps we can commit to changing its tone and tenor and enter a period of renewal, comfort, and growth.  

Each morning during Elul, we will sound the Shofar as a spiritual wake-up call, challenging us to look inside ourselves, to consider how we can change, learn, and grow.  How?  Let us bring the joy and spirit from Jewish camps – and the spirit of curiosity that is my mother’s legacy.

Jeremy J. Fingerman is the CEO of the Foundation for Jewish Camp.