In honor of Mother’s Day I anonymously interviewed a handful of America’s finest matriarchs. Before we begin, a humble shout out to the mothers we have lost whose advice on these topics would have no doubt assisted women everywhere in living on their wilder side, including but not limited to the fabulous Kathy Blane, Sherry Millard, and the many others who shaped the better of our generation. You are missed.
Without further ado, The Wisdom of Your Moms:
Advice to a virgin:
It might not be great the first time.
Lubricate yourself.
Go for it!
Hold on to it, it’s not going anywhere.
Get birth control – you never know when children will happen.
Advice to a woman who can’t come:
This is if there isn’t some medical or other serious reason she can’t:
Relax.
Have a drink.
Get a sex toy online so you don’t have to deal with any hassle. And then just teach yourself how to do it.
Bedroom advice for men:
Slow down, take your time, listen.
This is not a race to the finish.
Secret sexual knowledge:
Be sexy.
Be open to try new things.
Know what your guy wants.
How do you know what he wants?
Men don’t verbalize normally, but they do try to lead the way and you just have to trust and go for it.
How do you know if there is more to him as a lover than what he says he wants?
Show him.
Push his limits.
Be totally open.
Follow the moment.
Advice to a woman with many lovers:
Stop.
Get rid of most of them. Pare it down and simplify your life.
Advice to a woman with a cheating partner:
Get rid of him – unless you have a child. And even then, I don’t think I could deal with it, but some people can.
Advice for finding a husband:
Don’t try to find it – they will come to you.I was asked by four men for their hand in marriage but it wasn’t something that I wanted to do. The fifth was the man I married. Sometimes women scare men away because they so need to get married.
There’s a difference between declarative intention, ie, I will find a good man, and needy desperation to transform a lover into a husband.
Guys take their own time. The more you push, the more they move away from you.
Demand to be treated with respect.
No man is going to want you if you don’t have self-respect. If you expect respect, you will get respect.
Don’t give it away for free.
Pursue your interests and have a good time.
Advice to a newlywed:
You have to stop thinking about yourself. Even in this age of equality, it’s compromise. You have to go 60/40 in a marriage to make it work.
The real thing is, you have to compromise, but you also have to be yourself. Deal with who you are and the other things will fall into place.
Be sure that before you get married, you know who you are marrying. People don’t change. A lot of women expect that marriage will transform their husband into a new and better person. What you got dating him, you will get after the wedding. After marriage he will still be him, so be sure you like that person.
The party is over. The work is here.
There is always a downside after the performance of a wedding, relax, you will get through it.
Sometimes women are so focused on the wedding that they forget there is a marriage that happens after it. Marriage does happen.
Talk to your spouse.Enjoy it now, it’s never going to be as simple as it is at that moment. It will get better, richer and more complex, but never as simple and wonderful as those first few months.
Advice on good living:
Just be happy.
Don’t have crazy expectations and don’t push people.
Don’t wear yourself out.
Shore some of the responsibility, let others be there for you.
Don’t try to do everything.
Do everything.
And finally, to my own mom, the invincible: I love you.
Happy Mother’s Day from Your 28-Year-Old Yenta!!!
Ask Yenta! E-mail a question to merissag[at]gmail[dot]com directly, or using “> Taste Buds with Deb – Episode 140 Birthright Israel Onward Storytellers is Birthright’s newest program which aims to support Jewish creators from around the world. The album takes listeners on a somber musical odyssey, blending haunting vocals with moments of electronic texture to reflect both historical horror and emotional disorientation. While antisemitic attacks against him intensified, so did demand for his work — particularly within Jewish communities. When I reflect on my life as a Jew today, I think of lively Shabbat dinners and inspirational synagogue services, and of the music, food and community that fortify me. The goal of the book is straightforward: to provide readers with the historical grounding needed to engage seriously in today’s debates. When you walk out of the house and are lucky enough to return safely, remember how blessed you are to have someone there to say, “I love you.” He no longer deserves to represent us, in elective office or in any other way. Jews are being squeezed from both sides, which makes it even more urgent that the center space — the place where we can support Israel, support democracy, oppose antisemitism and oppose permanent war — does not collapse. On International Holocaust Remembrance Day, UCLA Chancellor Julio Frenk issued a video statement that said hate of any kind—including antisemitism—has no place on UCLA’s campus. Here’s my wish for Holocaust Remembrance: Just as we remember the Jews who perished, let’s also remember the Jews who stood up and rebuilt. For Jews, the rising Jew-hate is chilling. Yet many of my colleagues and friends don’t see it. Or worse, they excuse it. All humans need hope and clearly these immigrants had come to the end of their ropes. They left Venezuela because the unjust and corrupt administrations of Hugo Chavez and his successor Nicholas Maduro had failed them. At this point, all sides must agree that the crisis itself has gone too far and that letting it get further out of hand should be out of the question. Jewish activist organizations that have been outspoken critics of Israel and vocal advocates for Palestinians have had almost nothing to say about Iran. Upon completion of the mission, Israel opened the Rafah Crossing for the first time in more than two years. The United States must continue to stand with our true friends, the people of Iran. With well over 11 million people in the United States illegally, and the Trump administration determined to deport the criminals among them, why not offer British Jews political asylum? The Jewish story in America is marked by an aspiration to thrive and contribute, not by a need to defend ourselves.
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