This week, Chabad Rabbi Zvi Kogan, of blessed memory, who was serving the Jewish community in Abu Dhabi, UAE was ruthlessly murdered. The entire Jewish community is in mourning. Like everyone else, I am heartbroken. I wanted to share comforting words in honor of him and his short but incredibly meaningful life.
Chabad changed the trajectory of my life 14 years ago. I don’t know where I’d be without them.
The year was 2010, and I had just graduated from college and moved to New York City. I was a wreck: anxious, depressed and having existential crises every few minutes. I was an atheist and had no God to turn to.
I had also started dating Daniel, a Jewish man who had gone “off the derech,” away from Jewish observance, for 11 years following bad experiences, including getting kicked out of his yeshiva for no good reason.
He had recently gone back to Chabad after a Chabad rabbi stopped him on the street and encouraged him to come to Friday night dinner. He loved it there.
One Friday, we were both broke and didn’t know where we’d get dinner. Daniel said, “Let’s go to Chabad.” I had no idea what that meant, but I went along with it.
That night, the rabbi greeted both of us with a warm smile. His wife cooked delicious food. There were so many different kinds of Jews around the table.
While the rabbi wore a black hat, everyone else was diverse — hipsters, businessmen, old and young people. I loved the community feel and how everyone came together.
When the rabbi got up to share words of Torah, I felt a warmth in my chest. I thought, “This is God.”
I told Daniel I wanted to come back every week. We started going to the Chabad house for meals and events and to his parents’ home for Shabbat.
I started believing in God again and decided to convert to Judaism, choosing an Orthodox conversion, since I clicked with it the most. Daniel came back to Judaism on his own terms and also became observant again.
After I converted and Daniel and I got married, we traveled and went to Chabads everywhere: the Netherlands, Spain, Hawaii, Florida, Arizona, Aruba … so many places. We were always greeted with warmth and love.
Thank God, we have three Jewish children. Three Jewish neshamas were created because of Chabad.
Though I am not a “Chabadnik,” Chabad always has a special place in my heart. The shluchim pour their hearts and souls into their work, and it isn’t easy.
They are often away from family, away from other Jews, and are living to serve their people. I admire them so much. They are the most incredible people you’ll ever meet.
Whenever I feel like judging my fellow Jew, I think, “What would the Rebbe do?” And I hold my judgment and try to look favorably upon them instead, just like he would.
With the tragic murder of Rabbi Zvi Kogan, absolute hate eradicated absolute love. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why, God, did this happen?
Humans have free will, and they sometimes do horrible things. But I believe that love, in the end, conquers hate.
In Rabbi Zvi’s memory, I encourage you to do mitzvot. Go to a Chabad for Shabbat dinner this week. Check in on your local shluchim to see if they are OK. Take on one mitzvah you haven’t done before. Jewish women: Light candles this Friday night. Jewish men: Wrap tefillin. Go to a community gathering. Visit a senior who is lonely. Donate to a good cause. Spread love in this world, which needs it so much right now.
We can fix the world with our good deeds. We can usher in Moshiach so that nothing like this happens again.
My heart is broken. The Jewish people’s collective heart is broken. But it can be mended.
My heart is broken. The Jewish people’s collective heart is broken. But it can be mended.
Baruch Dayan Emet Rabbi Zvi Kogan. You will not be forgotten. The Jewish people will continue your legacy, spreading love and light in your honor.
Love you all.
Kylie Ora Lobell is an award-winning writer and Community Editor of the Jewish Journal. You can find Kylie on X @KylieOraLobell or Instagram @KylieOraWriter.
