Satirical Semite: Misinformation Nation

We are living in The Age of Misinformation, and newspapers never include the words “fact checked” below an article, because the assumption is that it is true at the time of writing. However, in the interest of staying in sync with the trending fashion, here is some unverified and verified fake news for real Jews (and anyone else who is reading).

The recent Winter Olympics took place at a beautiful, picturesque, luxury ski resort (false) on the dry barren Xiahaituo Mountain near an industrial estate where all of the snow was manufactured (true). China was dedicated to winning some gold medals (true) and their most-prized gold medal winner, the freestyle ski star Eileen Gu, was born and raised in Beijing (false). Gu is a beautiful model, known in China as Gu Ailing. She was born in San Francisco and trained at California’s stunning Lake Tahoe ski slopes. On being interviewed in last year’s South China Morning Post, she said “I’m fully American … nobody can deny I’m American. When I go to China, nobody can deny I’m Chinese” (true). Her dual citizenship allows her to compete in the country where her mother was born. Come on Eileen! Just remember that mixing politics and skiing can be a very slippery slope.      

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, asked Team USA athletes to overlook the First Amendment of the American constitution and not speak out against the cruel oppressive regime that hosted the Winter Olympics, just in case they get into trouble because she “fear[ed] for their safety if they do.” Presumably this travel advice also goes for any other American tourist visiting China (true). How can we disagree when the House speaker speaks out about not speaking? Let’s not allow a pesky little constitutional amendment to get in the way of making new friends while visiting the People’s Republic of China that is graciously hosted by the benevolent Chinese Communist Party. Unfortunately, Pelosi was probably correct in warning athletes to protect their personal safety by not mentioning China’s repeated and ongoing human rights violations of the Uyghur people that include alleged prison camps, slave labor, rape and forced sterilization. The Uyghur situation is horrific (true).

Just remember that mixing politics and skiing can be a very slippery slope.

In 2020 there was vocal criticism of Israel when it defended itself from the 4,360 rockets and mortars that were fired from Palestinians groups. Every one of those human rights campaigners stayed true to impartial and unbiased form, and turned their attention to criticize China’s human rights abuses (false). A typical campaigner’s defense might be “I like Jews, it’s just Israel I have trouble with,” or even “some of my best friends are Jewish.”  

On a lighter note, British politicians have put the “party” back into the Conservative Party. News emerged that during the pandemic lockdowns, when the government insisted that everyone stay at home and threatened monetary fines if people traveled more than five miles to socialize in other peoples’ homes, politicians were busy holding wine and cheese soirees under the guise of them being work meetings (true). The opposition Labour Party is calling for the blood of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, but since many Labour politicians supported the antisemitic leader Jeremy Corbyn, this is a case of “better the devil you know.” At least Johnson is a jovial chap and records nice festive messages for the Jewish community, and took a good punt at speaking Hebrew in a Rosh Hashanah message when he quoted “Avenue Malkeinu” (true, true and true).

Meanwhile, British tabloids fill their pages excoriating Prince Harry and Meghan, who has been nicknamed “Me Again” (true). There are widespread concerns about the release of Prince Harry’s forthcoming tell-all biography that is likely to criticize his family. His book will be released later this year while his 95-year-old grandmother, currently recovering from COVID, is celebrating her Diamond Jubilee as the UK’s longest-serving monarch with an unparalleled 70 years of service to her country on the British throne (true again!).

The Winter Olympics were controversial but they are now over. One way to celebrate the wins and losses is to head over to Lake Tahoe, buy an American beer from a bar at the ski resort, and say whatever you want out here in the Land of The Free (neither true nor false).

Marcus J Freed is an actor, writer and marketing consultant: www.marcusjfreed.com and on social @marcusjfreed.