Our children are soon coming home from their month at Camp Ramah. From the glimpses in photos and random, sometimes nonsensical letters we have received, they seem to be having a fabulous time.
A month is a long duration to be away from children who usually need help with choosing clothing, reminders to brush teeth and make beds, and still have their parents make breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day and night. For the first few days, I naturally wondered if they could do “all of it” without us. When zero reports came home about their inabilities to get dressed, live in a tent with 12 other kids, or figure out what to eat within the camp menu, we realized we were asking the wrong question. They were fine. It was now time to figure out how to be adults without three children constantly defining our identities. Who are we without our children needing us day in and day out?
Our tradition not only teaches to have confidence in the children we are raising but to also trust ourselves, our ever-evolving characters. This month was a reminder to take pride in the parenting we have done thus far and enjoy some precious moments of being a spouse, capturing some extra minutes reading without interruption, and renewed appreciation for the quiet in the home. The lack of noise gives a necessary pause to evaluate the adults we are still becoming, a process that I hope continues until I take my last breath in this blessed world.
The Talmud teaches, “The right hand draws near and the left hand pushes away.” Meaning, we simultaneously draw our children close while holding them from a distance; a parenting lesson to raise independent, resilient children. But now, I read the verse differently. As much as our children possess our hearts, a little distance is what grooms us into independent adults.
Growing, more understanding, curious, grateful adults who choose to learn about ourselves every single day.
A beautiful summer lesson, but let’s be honest…I can’t wait until those kids are home next week.
I’m more than ready to draw them close.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Nicole Guzik is senior rabbi at Sinai Temple. She can be reached at her Facebook page at Rabbi Nicole Guzik or on Instagram @rabbiguzik. For more writings, visit Rabbi Guzik’s blog section from Sinai Temple’s website.
