The Coronation of Donald Trump

Donald Trump returned to the White House this past week and hit the ground sprinting. He unveiled a blistering inventory of Executive Orders that displayed all the showmanship of an Off-Broadway production of “There’s a New Sheriff in Town.” On Tuesday, he even ordered a pause in federal financial assistance.

Sharpies have never been this sexy.

Trump once owned the Miss America pageant; now he sits in the Oval Office without a tiara, but very much feeling the vibe and projecting the moxie of “Mr. America.”

Like him or hate him, the former reality TV star who apprenticed at the White House during his first term, clearly wants his second presidential administration to be a blockbuster, a remaking of America that fulfills his many MAGA pledges and earns him a spot on Mount Rushmore. (You can see him issuing an Executive Order swapping out Teddy Roosevelt.)

Like him or hate him, the former reality TV star who apprenticed at the White House during his first term, clearly wants his second presidential administration to be a blockbuster, a remaking of America that fulfills his many MAGA pledges and earns him a spot on Mount Rushmore.

Back in 2016, his first days in the White House alternated between bumbling and bluster. He wasn’t ready for the job. Had doubted America would elect him to its highest office. He was as surprised as the rest of us.

Being not the kind of guy who hits the books to prepare, he didn’t have the slightest idea what Day 1 would look like. Many of his White House, federal agency and Cabinet picks were wrong for him, and the nation. His daughter and son-in-law proved his most fitting choices.

This time, he knew what he wanted. The appointment process has thus far been slow, but it appears that the Senate will “advise and consent,” but not derail. The American people gave him an electoral mandate by winning the popular vote. He is not above saying to the senators, “Don’t stand in my way with petty politics.”

We have already witnessed a blistering statement-making moment, a hot-dog showing off in the White House. This newly seasoned politician means business. Trump’s base is hopping with Red State euphoria. Not since President Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal has America seen a first 100 days take shape in only five.

DEI programs and hiring practices are soon about to die. Hard work, excellence and meritocracy are now back in fashion. White privilege is less sinful, and there will no longer be any privileges for those with exotic identities. Senator Elizabeth Warren can finally go back to being a white woman.

The United States military has been sent to secure our southern border. A nationwide crackdown of illegal immigrants with criminal records has resulted in 460 arrests. Mexico and Latin America, and some enemy nations of the United States, are preparing for deportations by the millions.

Trump designated Mexican drug cartels as terror organizations, declared a national emergency at the southern border that would enable him to finally build that wall, and reinstated his Remain in Mexico policy for asylum seekers.

Those born in the United States whose parents are illegally in America will no longer receive automatic citizenship, despite what the 14^th Amendment says about the privileges of birthright. Those opposing this Executive Order have already received a victory in federal court with a temporary restraining order. But don’t count out the conservative supermajority on the Supreme Court agreeing with Trump.

The Green New Deal is going to receive a paint job. America is withdrawing from the Paris Climate Accord. And Trump has declared a national emergency to circumvent environmental regulations preventing him from making America energy independent. Oil and gas drilling in Alaska will soon be at full Trump-tilt.

Our membership in the World Health Organization is now officially over. Mexico and Canada will soon expect to see a steep 25 percent tariff on imports from those nations.

The Houthis are now, finally, designated a terrorist group. Since the breakout of the October 7 War in Gaza, the Houthis have been firing rockets at Israel at will and have played Barbary Pirates all throughout the Red Sea. The Biden administration confused these Yemenite terrorists with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Despite the Supreme Court’s recent ruling, TikTok has received more time on the clock to divest from its ownership and have it transferred to an American company.

The spigot on gender fluidity has dried up. We’re back to two sexes, the ones observed at birth. All competitive transgender swimmers are being asked to towel off and let the women race against each other.

Hundreds of thousands of federal public employees will soon either be fired or reassigned. The five-day workweek is back, and Trump has probably already held more press conferences in five days than Biden was willing to do in four years. As for his own workdays, he immediately visited with hurricane victims in North Carolina and pointed fingers of blame at withholding insurance companies.

Trump brought a can-do, patriotic spirit back to Washington. But he may have already done damage by pardoning the 1,500 sentenced to prison in connection with the January 6 rioting.

Trump brought a can-do, patriotic spirit back to Washington. But he may have already done damage by pardoning the 1,500 sentenced to prison in connection with the January 6 rioting. He may be right that most of them were over-punished (especially when one considers that Black Lives Matters vandals and arsonists received no punishments, at all), but commuting the sentences of the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers is a terrible mistake, along with pardoning anyone who laid his hands on a police officer.

On the other hand, if you are a university—public or private—that has tolerated antisemitic upheavals related to Israel’s just war in Gaza, it’s time to sell off properties because the anticipated Title VI sanctions will be brutal. I hear that Harvard is turning its Yard into condos.

For those who still pore over the Warren Commission’s findings on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, certain that a conspiracy was afoot, and the single gunmen theory was all poppycock, millions of classified documents will soon become available to the public. Attention: the CIA, Cuba, the Chicago Mafia—the jig is finally up.

Oh, and the Gulf of Mexico is now being renamed the Gulf of America.

Trump has a lot to prove, and he has majorities in the House and Senate, and the will of the people, to do some good things—if he can be trusted to spend less time settling scores, and more of it governing with grace.

The guy that once owned casinos in Atlantic City is an incurable wild card. Who knows how the next four years will wind up. Trump has a lot to prove, and he has majorities in the House and Senate, and the will of the people, to do some good things—if he can be trusted to spend less time settling scores, and more of it governing with grace.

Trump never quite said the word, but for anyone watching, his inauguration had the trappings of a coronation, minus the crown.

He’ll need to be reminded, from time to time, that America is not a monarchy.

Thane Rosenbaum is a novelist, essayist, law professor and Distinguished University Professor at Touro University, where he directs the Forum on Life, Culture & Society. He is the legal analyst for CBS News Radio. His most recent book is titled “Saving Free Speech … From Itself,” and his forthcoming book is titled, “Beyond Proportionality: Is Israel Fighting a Just War in Gaza?”