Matchmaking and eating go hand-in-hand.
“They’re natural compliments to each other,” Jaydi Samuels Kuba, author of the newly released ”Your Last First Date: Secrets from a Hollywood Matchmaker,” told the Journal. Throughout the book, Kuba, who is also a TV writer and dating coach, shares narrative stories, along with practical dating wisdom, throughout the book.
“In terms of the dates that I set up, I really think about the venues, the type of food people will be eating, as they’re getting to know each other, and the factors that go into selecting the perfect restaurant,” Kuba said. “I actually did an exercise where I kept a tally of all the restaurants I sent people out to on dates; I wanted to see which ones statistically were likely to yield more second dates than others so that I could send clients to those places.”
For instance, places that are lively with good airflow, and also outdoor settings – weather permitting, are good. Sitting at a bar, eating at a diner or going somewhere formal, not so much.
“You also don’t want somewhere that’s empty or feeling too intimate for a first-time meet; it can be a little bit overwhelming and it can also be awkward,” Kuba said.
She also likes to raise awareness about what types of food people can order that may help them feel more comfortable or break a nervous dating habit.
“For example, someone very talkative may want to go the route of booking their date at a tapas restaurant, because there will be natural breaks in conversation,” she said.
Kuba always considered herself a natural people-connector, though not always romantically.
“I always would help people find new friends, find new jobs, find a roommate, whatever people were searching for in their life,” she said. “As I started getting older and there was more of a need around me, whether it was friends … co coworkers or colleagues looking for love, I just naturally fell into the role … and started matching people in that way.”
It spiraled from a side hustle, while she was working as a TV writer – “I was working on the show “Family Guy,” and I just noticed everyone around me craving [love] in their life, and I decided to be the solution,” she said. – into a full blown business and passion. It’s even how she met her husband.
“[He’s] a former client that I matched five times before he and I went out,” she said. “And now we’re married with a beautiful girl.”
The book came about during the writers’ strike. She needed a creative outlet, and couldn’t write TV at the time, and started writing a book proposal.
“Originally it was very prescriptive: it was a straightforward ‘people in Hollywood suffer the same way you do with their dating lives [and] here’s how I help them,” she said. “I wanted it to be relatable and exciting and approachable, and have vignettes about people in the industry while still holding back names, of course, to protect confidentiality.”
She got a positive reaction – publishers loved her writing – but she was unknown, so the project stalled. Then the team at Avid Press suggested she try a narrative approach.
“I had never thought about writing anything that was memoir style; I am used to being behind the scenes: I write TV and other people say my words,” Kuba said. “As I started reshaping the proposal, I realized I was way more excited about this version.
“Once I started allowing myself to be vulnerable and insert my own journey into the story, it became something that … I was even more excited about it.”
Stories in the book range from the comedic to the heartbreaking. Kuba takes the reader along for the ride with the characters, who she advises throughout their journeys.
“When someone finishes reading the book, if they’re single, I want them to … walk away feeling like we just had ten one-on-one coaching sessions together,” Kuba said. “I want you to feel like you’re … learning vicariously through them, so that maybe you could avoid some of the same mistakes and have success on your own.”
You could potentially improve your flirting-game, up your confidence, get out of your head, and/or learn how to get out of work mode on a date.
“If someone isn’t single, I hope that they read this book and it reminds them of when they were, and they either look back on it fondly or nostalgically or [be thankful they are] not there anymore,” Kuba said.
No matter what your relationship status, eating is a wonderful common-ground.
For Kuba, food always smells like memories. She is one eighth Jamaican from her mother’s mother – they call themselves “Jewmaican,” and grew up on her bubbe’s beef patties, amongst other recipes. “Nothing feels more like home to me than when I just get a whiff of one walking by like a Jamaican restaurant or if I’m fortunate enough to have homemade ones,” she said. That recipe is below.
Learn more about Jaydi Samuels Kuba at LJMatchmaking.com, follow @MatchMadeinHollywood on Instagram and TikTok, listen to the My podcast: Match Made in Hollywood podcast, and get a copy of “Your Last First Date” at your favorite place to buy books.
For the full conversation, listen to the podcast:
Bubbe’s Jewmaican Beef Patties
Yields 5
Pastry:
2 cups flour
1 ¼ cups Crisco in a can (use lid to make the dough circles)
1/3 teaspoon salt
⅔ teaspoon cold water
Plus: 1 large egg and 1 tablespoon of water to; mix together to make an egg wash for baking
In a large bowl, combine flour, Crisco, salt and water; mix well. Divide dough in half, wrap in plastic and chill until ready to use (at least 30 minutes). Each half will make 5 servings; freeze one of the dough packets for a later time or double the filling recipe (below).
When ready to use, roll out on a floured surface to about 1/8-inch thickness. Cut into circles, using the lid from the Crisco can.
Filling:
3 ounces tomato paste
1 ¼ cup water
1 pound ground beef
½ teaspoon salt
⅓ cup green pepper, finely diced
½ teaspoon pepper
½ cups onion, finely diced
½ -1 teaspoon Louisiana hot sauce for spice
If necessary: 1 slice of bread, cubed
In a medium pot, dissolve tomato paste in water. Add the rest of the ingredients (except for the bread) and mix.
Cook over medium heat for 30 minutes. Cool down and then refrigerate for 1 hour. Note: If the meat mixture is too watery, add cubed bread.
Putting it together:
Preheat the oven to 350.
Place 3 tablespoons of the meat mixture on one half of each pastry circle. Fold the other half over the meat. Use a fork to press down around the edge of the pastry.
Brush top with egg wash.
Bake for 30-35 minutes.
Debra Eckerling is a writer for the Jewish Journal and the host of “Taste Buds with Deb.” Subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform. Email Debra: tastebuds@jewishjournal.com.
