I think that was a movie title. Never saw the flick, but couldn’t help but think on the title today when in conversation with a new friend.
We were both raving at each other about the details of each others lives. The ones we could see. Then, he made an observation about mine that simply was not true. It was a teeny tiny portion of true I suppose, but the other part? Not so much.
I had a quick decision to make. I decided this friendship was too new to contradict him. I wondered if I was afraid to burst his perfect perception of me and my life, but I ultimately felt he would be embarrassed in that moment so I hold my correction for another time. I figured there would be plenty of time to really share if the friendship was important.
But boy, it got me thinking. What was I missing about him as I gushed about about his life? His home in Venice and the two hour walk with his dog daily on the beach and the exotic travel for the work he enjoyed so much. What was I not getting with my surface observations?
What do we not get about so many whom we encounter in our days, from the loved one to the stranger? What could I not see from the lady whom I feared might sock me in the teeth at Target for our accidental cart mishap last month? What do I not get about my mailman and my bank teller or grocery clerk, let alone the beautiful souls for whom I have the privilege of seeing and caring for each and every day in my own home.
What do we miss about ourselves. We think we know ourselves so well, we may barely event take an honest look or feel. Every opportunity to give ourselves negative feedback when we look in the mirror or when we teeter off the carefully laid balance beam of our lives may be a coverup for actually going inward. What do we miss in these moments?
Of course, we need to make quick observations sometimes. We have so many mini decisions to make throughout the day that we need to rely on some form of discernment about a person in our immediate orbit sometimes. I wonder though if we can make just a concerted effort, even once daily, to open our eyes. Really look, and really wonder. Not wonder in order to make a conclusion, but in order to keep the possibilities open about the person in front of you. Our questions can heighten our compassion, and at the end of the day, this will nourish our relationships more than any judgment or compliment.
I will be gone for a few days so NO CLASS FRIDAY 4/28
I look forward to practicing with you all Wednesday, 5/3!
And look for the Month Of Mondays starting in June!
In appreciation, and compassion,
Michelle
