COVID-19 has been tough on everyone. But for teens, who may not know how to ask for help, it has presented a whole new struggle. From loneliness to disappointment over canceled proms, social outings and graduations, teens now have to figure out how to contend with many unforeseen challenges.
In an effort to address these issues facing teenagers, the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute (JLI) has released “Parenting in a Pandemic” a free 36-page booklet with teachings from mental health professionals who work with adolescents.
“Everyone I’ve been in touch with is swamped with requests for therapy,” Rabbi Zalman Abraham, marketing director and course author for the JLI, said in a phone interview with the Journal. “There’s a lot of really good wisdom [in the booklet].”
The JLI — an adult-education network run by the Chabad-Lubavitch community — put out the booklet as part of its youth suicide-prevention initiative, “My Life Is Worth Living.”
Under the program, youth leaders learn how to recognize the warning signs of teen suicide, assess risk and engage in group discussions that incorporate contemporary psychology and Jewish wisdom. The JLI hopes to train 1,000 educators, youth leaders and camp counselors by the end of 2020.
“Parenting in a Pandemic” includes commentary from Thomas Joiner, a psychologist at the University of Florida; Lisa M. Horowitz, a staff scientist/clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health Intramural Research Program; and Lisa Robin Jacobs, a psychiatrist in Palo Alto, Calif.
In an essay in the booklet titled “Let School Go During COVID-19,” Jacobs writes how people aren’t treating the teen mental health crisis like an emergency — but they should. In one therapy session, she writes she was talking with a parent who was concerned about her daughter missing school because of mental health issues, but didn’t want to take her to an intensive treatment program.
“I was shocked,” Jacobs writes. “This girl had a life-threatening illness. As an American teen, depression was more likely to kill her than any other medical illness. If it was cancer, her parents wouldn’t be worried about how much school she missed to get chemotherapy.”
Abraham said one parent who read the booklet said they found one simple piece of advice to be very powerful: Say to your teen, “Tell me more.”
In his essay on this topic, psychologist Casey Skvorc wrote, “When your child criticizes the hastily assembled distance learning offered by their high school or college — now to be completed at home with a completely different format and style of instruction — ask them to tell you more.”
“Everyone I’ve been in touch with is swamped with requests for therapy. There’s a lot of really good wisdom [in the booklet].” — Rabbi Zalman Abraham
The booklet also features tips on managing anxiety by exercising, meditating and practicing deep breathing, taking the guilt out of parenting, staying calm in unsettling times, and learning about suicide warning signs.
In her piece in the booklet titled “Parenting in Difficult Times,” Horowitz discusses how to have difficult conversations about suicide with your teen. “There is a widespread myth that asking someone if they are having thoughts of suicide will put the idea into their head. It’s actually the opposite; the best way to keep a young person from killing themselves is to ask directly, ‘Are you thinking of killing yourself?’ And then listen, really listen, to their answer.”
The idea for “Parenting in a Pandemic” emerged after the JLI put together a series of trainings for youth directors and leaders before Passover on how to support teens through COVID-19. Then, they commissioned advice from 14 mental health specialists.
Abraham said he hopes the My Life Is Worth Living program and the “Parenting in a Pandemic” booklet will allow teens to feel supported through these challenging times.
“Teens don’t get the help they need because therapy is inaccessible due to cost; insurance doesn’t cover it and there is a stigma about it,” he said. “We’ve been working with groups across the spectrum to bring out the curriculum, support parents and help all teens get the help they need.”
“Parenting in a Pandemic” is available here.
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