Nick Reiner, by his own admission, is an alcoholic and addict. Sitting shackled in a prison cell, it appears that Nick murdered his famous parents, Rob and Michele. Now, like his father, Rob, and his grandfather, Carl, Nick is also renowned — something he may have craved his whole life. Nick comes from what is called “Showbiz Royalty.”
Because I am an alcoholic like Nick — though sober — I can tell you most, if not all of us, have two similar traits. One is a hole in our gut the size of the Grand Canyon. This hole can’t be fixed by money, property, prestige, a big house, a career or how beautiful your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife is.
The other trait is a burning anger toward almost everyone and everything, better known as resentment. Rarely, if ever, does a drunk wanting to sober up not feel the world has failed him, though most don’t end up killing their parents. Many do contemplate suicide, and a good many of them try it and succeed.
When I first got sober, I was so angry at my parents that I thought about how much better off I would be without them. How can you not think that when you believe, with all your heart, that they are the problem? You think that you have this bad life because of them.
It wasn’t until I got sober and took a good, hard look inside and realized whatever issues they may have caused were then. Now, as an adult, the ball is in my court, and it’s my job to get past it. I don’t believe Nick ever got to that place in his attempts at sobriety.
Since age 15, already on heroin, Nick has gone to 17 or 18 rehabs. What happens with addicted people is that their emotional age comes to a halt when they first start using. So, even though Nick is now 32, it’s as if he is still 15.
What 15-year-old doesn’t feel misunderstood? Add drugs and alcohol to the mix, and you have a perilous situation.
Does my being sober make me smarter than Nick? Probably not. Where we differ is that I gave up trying to control my disease. Sometimes, the wealthiest, smartest and most successful have the hardest time.
Arrogance is the offensive lineman who blocks anything or anyone who wants to stop the quarterback. And that’s why it’s so hard to stop — because the addicted person believes they are calling the plays, even with proof that every attempt to win has failed. They think they know better than the rest of the world.
One reason I was able to halt my addiction till now (I’m never safe) was that I gave up trying to call the shots by myself. I huddled to find out what others thought, not to tell them what I thought. When I’m the only one thinking, the quarterback always gets sacked.
To halt the addiction, what I needed was to replace it with something more substantial. That does not mean beer for scotch or weed for coke. In my case, it was God and a like-minded friend. Two things I know for sure about God are these: there is a God, and it’s not me, and God does not want me drunk. That belief for me has been stronger than the booze.
No matter how drunk I was, if I ran over someone with a beer in my hand, was it my fault? The answer was unequivocally yes. Is what Nick did his fault? Unless there is something we don’t know, more than likely, yes.
If Nick were let out of jail tomorrow, would killing his parents make him understand that he desperately needs to stay sober? Maybe — but probably not.
We will never know what went on in the Reiner family, just as we are in the dark about those closest to us. I knew Rob and his father, Carl, only slightly. Carl asked me once if I could help Rob lose weight. Just as Rob was worried about Nick and his addictions, Carl was worried about Rob and his weight. Clearly, neither Rob nor Nick could conquer.
Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the “We Think It’s Funny” podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”
