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Grandparents Are Never Retired

Grandparents must fly around the world more than the United States Secretary of State.
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February 5, 2025
Andrii Iemelyanenko/Getty Images

After 25-plus years, my wife recently retired from her full-time job at a Jewish day school in Los Angeles. Late-night meetings, phone calls, and stress were not uncommon. She was paid well and loved her career and the students, but it was time to leave. 

Her dreams of seeing friends, traveling more and being able to take it easy were finally on the horizon.  Because I am a standup comedian and my own boss (don’t tell my wife I said that), taking time off is no problem. 

Many friends we contacted to get together were out of town and would send mysterious texts back: “Be back in a few weeks.”  “Call you when we return.” 

Then, the truth came out. One after another said they would love to get together but had to fly off to visit their grandchildren. Some traveled a few hundred miles, some across continents, and many have grandchildren in multiple places.  Rarely, if ever, do we remember these same people flying off to see their own children. 

When we finally met up with some friends, they appeared worn out and deeply needed repair. Yet they claimed that they would not change a thing.

We are blessed that two of our grandchildren don’t live in Outer Mongolia but are only a five-minute drive away.  Our kids will call and ask if we can come right over to babysit because one of the kids sneezes and needs to go immediately to Urgent Care. When I was five, unless I had an axe lodged in the back of my skull, my parents would tell me to go outside and play.  Because we live so close, our grandkids know us well.  When we walk into their house, they excitedly yell, “Zayde! Ninny!” It melts our hearts.

Then, on December 17, 2024, my son Noah’s wife, Chloe, gave birth to a beautiful, healthy 7.7-pound baby girl, Stella Bea, 2,796 miles away in New York City. On that day, we became official Frequent Flying Grandparents. That means that around four or more times a year, we will go to New York to see them if we want to have a relationship with Stella.  Our friends Rena and Jamie said they immediately figured out the next trip when they returned home from flying to see the grandkids. Rena explained that if you don’t go often, the grandkids don’t get to know you, and they might not recognize you when you come.

For our first trip, Nancy and I booked flights and a hotel six months before the birth. We decided to arrive a few days before the due date and stay almost two weeks. Because of Shabbos, we needed a hotel close to their 63rd Street and Second Ave apartment. And except for Shabbos, we ate all our meals out or brought takeout back to our hotel. That area is prime real estate and home to some of the most expensive hotels in New York. But what the heck, who cares? We are getting another gift from heaven — a new grandchild.      

Because flying and hotels are so expensive, I thought about asking the airline to start a grandparents’ discount club. Grandparents must fly around the world more than the United States Secretary of State. They also pay extra for their overweight checked luggage because of all the gifts they bring and all the medications they need to pack (for themselves).

On our return from seeing our kids and meeting our beautiful new granddaughter Stella, we received a call from our financial advisor. After seeing the bills from our recent trip, and because of all the future flying and the number of days we might spend in hotels, dining out, taking cabs and buying gifts, he suggested that Nancy try to get her old job back and consider adding another part-time job.  

So, if you dream of being a grandparent someday, here are a few things to do: 1) Start a savings account when you are about seven. 2) Try sleeping in an extra-small chair to feel right at home when squeezing into an airline seat. And 3) remember that grandparents are the luckiest and happiest people in the world, no matter the cost or exhaustion.


Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the “We Think It’s Funny” podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”

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