Saved by a Mitzvah

Last July I was interviewed on an author-focused podcast in Canada about my new book, “Bylines and Blessings.” This was a non-Jewish podcaster with a sizable audience, making it an especially valuable opportunity. Since Oct. 7, many Jewish writers had been suddenly shut out in many corners of the literary world: agents, publishers, indie bookstore owners, literary magazines, reviewers, and conference organizers. It didn’t matter if a writer had never even written a single word about Israel, ghosting was the new craze, and I had learned to take nothing for granted.

Dave was a friendly, engaging, skilled interviewer, and I was pleased with our conversation about my experiences and insights as a longtime Jewish journalist. As is typical, he told me it would be a few weeks before he would edit and upload the episode. Six weeks later, it hadn’t posted. After two months, I emailed him to inquire, but the email went unanswered.  

After a follow-up inquiry, Dave replied, saying he’d gotten busy with a remodeling project and would post the interview soon. Three months later, it still hadn’t posted, though he was uploading two new author interviews each week, remodeling project notwithstanding. 

What had happened? I found it implausible that someone so friendly and who had asked meaningful questions about Judaism had joined the antisemitic bandwagon, but my paranoia was growing because of the steady drumbeat of examples of this kind of thing happening to other Jewish authors.  

In Pirkei Avot, we are taught to give others the benefit of the doubt and judge others favorably. This is true even when circumstances are ambiguous and could be read with an eye toward guilt or innocence. This situation was definitely ambiguous, and my better instincts told me to continue judging favorably, though I was growing impatient.   

In Pirkei Avot, we are taught to give others the benefit of the doubt and judge others favorably. This is true even when circumstances are ambiguous and could be read with an eye toward guilt or innocence. 

Last week, feeling thoroughly frustrated and aggrieved, I was ready to email him, daring him to admit that he had decided not to run the interview because I was Jewish. Don’t, a small voice of conscious and common sense whispered. Check his website one more time. In fact, I hadn’t checked it in a month, and when I checked again, there it was: My episode had posted in early November — four full months after we recorded it.  

Thank God I hadn’t embarrassed myself — and hurt the Jewish cause — by falsely accusing him of antisemitism. Instead, I had the pleasure of sending him a thank-you note, with greetings of the holiday season. I wasn’t even tempted to say, “Hey! What took so long?”  

Today, it’s too easy to suspect good people of bad intentions, while defaulting to judging ourselves with heaping loads of favoritism. Looking back on this situation, I know that my own impatience, his lack of communication (he was probably overloaded with emails and missed mine), and being oversaturated in stories about antisemitism toward Jewish authors, all contributed to this perfect storm, making it a major test to continue giving Dave the benefit of the doubt. Without proof positive that he had gone to the dark side and chosen to ghost me for political reasons, I had no right to assume the worst. Finally, I needed to have faith, emuna, that if God had closed this particular door for me, another one would open.  

It can be a real struggle to judge others favorably, especially when our limited knowledge of the facts seems to lean toward a guilty verdict. I nearly lost the battle this time and am grateful that I didn’t make a fool of myself. A Mishna in Pirkei Avot says, “Anyone who judges others favorably will be judged favorably in Heaven.” This sounds like a good deal to me, and I’ll probably have many more opportunities to practice this mitzvah here on Earth.

Judy Gruen is the author of “Bylines and Blessings,” “The Skeptic and the Rabbi,” and other books. She is also a book editor and writing coach.