I recently called my best friend, crying about the Bibas family.
“I know, it’s so hard,” she said.
“It seems like the world hates us,” I responded.
“I was born a Jew,” she told me. “I don’t understand why you would choose to be a Jew with everything that comes with it. It’s amazing, but it’s so hard.”
I told her, “Yes, being Jewish has its tough moments, especially now. But when I wasn’t Jewish, the tough moment was all the time. I was spiritually empty. I didn’t have a happy life. I would much rather have a meaningful life with tough moments sometimes. I was so dehydrated, and I didn’t even know it. The Torah was my water.”
She said, “Wow, I never thought of it that way.”
Before I was Jewish, I was depressed and anxious most days. I thought, “What am I living for?” I was an atheist with no God to turn to. The weight of the world was on my shoulders, and mine alone.
If I failed, it was my fault. When I achieved success – which I did! I had good grades! And amazing internships! And my whole life ahead of me! – it still didn’t make me truly happy. I would go to concerts and parties and have fun with my friends, but once the moment was over, I’d feel empty inside once again.
With Judaism, with God, my life is completely different now. I experience true joy and fulfillment. The world is no longer on my shoulders. I am able to see the bigger picture. Even if I don’t know what’s unfolding, I trust God has a plan. I’ll admit, it’s been a little bit harder to trust lately with everything that’s happening, but I still try. It’s much better than the alternative.
In my former life, when I was in darkness, I was all alone. Now, if I am feeling down, I have an entire Jewish community who are there for me. This was especially crucial these past few weeks, when the news coming out of Israel has been so bleak.
In my former life, when I was in darkness, I was all alone. Now, if I am feeling down, I have an entire Jewish community who are there for me.
Comparing my life today, and my life before I converted, I follow a lot of “rules” as an observant Jew. I can’t eat at certain restaurants or use my phone on Shabbat. I have to give up seeing my favorite bands in concert if they’re playing on a Friday night or not go to family celebrations if they’re on a Jewish holiday. It’s not always easy.
However, what I gained by converting to Judaism is a much more meaningful life. I can always make it work. If I believe in Hashem, if I step it up for Him, He steps it up for me. If I go beyond my comfort zone, I see Him more in my life.
If you are a Jew by birth and struggling, here’s the truth: Being Jewish is a gift. It’s an honor. You have a special mission to spread light and help people inside and outside of the Jewish community. You are here to spread the word of God and make people realize we are not alone; we always have Him to rely on.
It’s time to fight the darkness. Go to a Chabad house for Friday night dinner. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Walk a dog at a shelter. Give a friend in need a call. Visit a senior citizen in a nursing home. Stand up and declare yourself a proud Jew.
We are in a difficult moment, but it will pass – sooner, if we step it up.
With our actions, we can speed up our healing. With our actions, we can bring about peace and spread love. And with our actions, we can – truly – save the world.
What an honor.
Kylie Ora Lobell is an award-winning writer and Community Editor of the Jewish Journal. You can find Kylie on X @KylieOraLobell or Instagram @KylieOraWriter.
