Acharei Mot

It’s amazing we invented the concept
of the scapegoat, only to have it used against us
during the second war to end all wars.

And one can’t help but feel bad for the goat
both of them really. One to be sacrificed
the other to be sent off into the desert.

Who decides?

What did either of these goats do?

What did any of us do?

And then there’s the story of the holiest
spot there is, and most of us can never go there.

Just the one person, on the one day,
dressed in white
(don’t worry, it’s ages before Labor Day)
enters through a cloud of smoke.

Apologizes for everything everyone has done.

It’s the ultimate backstage pass.

I guess if someone is willing to
take responsibility for all my sins
I’ll find other places to be holy.

I think it was Han Solo who
famously said, “It’s not my fault.”

Honestly, I have nothing else to say about that
I just think it’s important to mention
Han Solo periodically.

And speaking of famous people.

This is the parsha that proves definitively
that Dracula could not be Jewish.

Don’t drink blood. Cover it with dust.

I’m sorry, Vlad, you are not one of us.

And if you ever needed a list of
who not to sleep with, or more specifically
whose nakedness not to uncover
may I suggest Leviticus chapter 18?

This is the one that fuels the fire of the
homophobes. But the text isn’t as specific
as they would have you believe.

Let’s eliminate the prefixes from the word
leaving only sexuality.

I took French in high school
where the word mot means “word.”

Here it means “death.”

Sometimes I
just want to be
in Paris.

Rick Lupert, a poet, songleader and graphic designer, is the author of 23 books including “God Wrestler: A Poem for Every Torah Portion.”