Ladies, Gentlemen, and Jews:
Welcome to beautiful Los Angeles! I write to you from the set of my new Ismar Schorsch biopic starring Danny Glover as Mordecai Kaplan and Jim Caviezel as Ismar Schorsch himself!
Anyway, I would like to begin my address by once again sincerely apologizing for the vitriolic and hateful words I uttered a few months back during my drunken tirade in Malibu. There is no excuse for the things I said.
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