When Aileen Weintraub was four months pregnant and taking a walk with her new husband in Manhattan, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She went to the doctor for an emergency sonogram, which showed that there were large fibroids growing right next to her baby in her uterus. She was promptly ordered to stay in bed for the next five months until labor started.
Photo by Greg Payan
At that point, Weintraub’s life was already hectic. She had moved away from Brooklyn, and her Jewish community, to upstate New York, where she was living with her non-Jewish husband in a run-down farmhouse. Her father had recently passed away, and someone who she thought was her friend had scolded her for being in an interfaith relationship. Now, with her high-risk pregnancy diagnosis, Weintraub had to find a way to stay in good spirits and keep her marriage intact. She details her experience in her new book, “Knocked Down: A High-Risk Memoir.”
“So many women experience obstacles around pregnancy, marriage and motherhood, and there is a real need to share our trauma and talk about it.” – Aileen Weintraub
The author, who tells her tale with a dose of humor, said, “I’m giving my story light and space in the world. So many women experience obstacles around pregnancy, marriage and motherhood, and there is a real need to share our trauma and talk about it. I wrote about my personal journey so others will feel less alone on theirs.”
When Weintraub was on bed rest, she connected to her spirituality to get through it. She prayed every day that her baby would survive, and she prayed for her father who had just died.
“I was processing the grief I felt for him, coming to terms with who he was as a father, a husband and a man,” she said. “My baby was born on Rosh Hashana and that was very meaningful as well.”
Despite the traumatic start to marriage and motherhood, today, Weintraub is still married to her husband, Chris, their son is a teenager now and they have stayed put in the Hudson Valley. Though she doesn’t live in a place that’s as Jewish as her hometown of Midwood, Brooklyn, she finds ways to carve out fulfilling Jewish experiences of her own.
“My Jewish community in Brooklyn shaped the fabric of my childhood and I’m so grateful that I was given that wonderful gift,” she said. “But when my child was born, I knew I would have to work on building a new community, and while it is different than my conservative Jewish upbringing, I have a newfound appreciation for moments that I had previously taken for granted, like lighting the Shabbat candles, eating homemade challah or having neighbors over to light the menorah. Moving to a new place has made me appreciate the beauty of Judaism even more.”
Weintraub hopes that when people read “Knocked Down,” it sparks a conversation about the many medical issues woman face, specifically when it comes to reproductive health. She said that when these issues are brought up, shame, blame and guilt are often placed on the woman.
“The terminology used to describe certain conditions such as, ‘incompetent cervix’ [and] ‘hostile uterus’ [are] so unnecessarily offensive, and that needs to change. There is also very little research on bed rest and whether it is effective. Some studies actually imply it does more harm than good. My hope is that women begin to feel secure enough to advocate for their healthcare needs so they can be seen and heard.”
To the women reading her book, she advised this: “Ask your doctor a lot of questions. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself, and do your own research. I would also say, be prepared to protect your mental health and ask for help. Get a support team in place to do the shopping and cleaning, but also find someone who is there to listen to you.”
