This Yom Kippur, Let’s Add a “Good” List

The Jewish tradition is not big on patting ourselves on the back. We grow more as individuals and communities by looking at our sins and mistakes and correcting them. The days leading up to Yom Kippur are all about self-correction and self-accounting. What did we do wrong? What can we do better? How can we atone? And so on.

This year feels different to me.

We’ve been so assaulted by a relentless pandemic that keeps testing our stamina and resilience, many of us are exhausted by soul-searching through dark tunnels. No matter how hard we try, the anxiety and uncertainty of the times seem to drag us down. 

We could use a morale boost.

So, in the High Holiday spirit of self-reflection, why not add a question this year to our traditional litany of self-criticism: What have we done right?

No matter how hard we try, the darkness and uncertainty of the times seem to drag us down…So, in the High Holiday spirit of self-reflection, why not add a question this year to our traditional litany of self-criticism: What have we done right?

This occurred to me recently when a friend told me about a nightly ritual he developed during the pandemic. With all of the negativity in the air, he decided to make a list of all the good things he does every day. At first the list was short, but with time it kept growing. You see, he never stops thinking about the list as he goes through his days, which encourages him to do more and more good deeds.

Any good act, however small, counts– a phone call to a grandparent, sending a thank you card, attending a class, walking in nature, volunteering, creating something, bonding with a friend or family member, helping a neighbor, etc. 

What struck me about the ritual is that it goes beyond just changing our attitudes—which itself is immensely useful. Looking for silver linings and the many things to be grateful for help us cope by nourishing our minds. 

But my friend’s idea is less about attitude and more about action—about what we do rather than what we feel or think. It’s about the power of doing things, and the power of recording them.

There’s enough lousy news these days to fill our minds with anxiety, no matter how well we adjust our mindsets. Action, on the other hand, concentrates the mind, channeling all of that anxiety into a productive place and into a habit that crowds out the bad stuff.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that we should live in a state of denial and ignore the darkness around us. What it does mean is that we shouldn’t allow that bad news to hijack our minds. Action that is focused around goodness can liberate our anxious minds and empower our souls.

It’s worth imagining what would happen if more and more people throughout the community took on this ritual. At night, thousands of people would make a list of the good things they did that day, and every night, the list of people and good deeds would keep growing. With time, this communal activity would offer a powerful counterweight to the coronavirus, making good deeds themselves contagious.

There’s no shortage of dark news these days to occupy our minds, from the 20-year anniversary of 9/11 to the fate of women in Afghanistan to the effects of climate change to the stubborn continuation of the pandemic. Regardless of where we sit ideologically, we all have bad news to worry about. That will never change.

If we can take a time-out every night to list our good deeds for that day, over time, instead of focusing on bad news, we may look instead at the good news that we ourselves create in our own circle of life. 

But if we can take a time-out every night to list our good deeds for that day, over time, instead of focusing on bad news, we may look instead at the good news that we ourselves create in our own circle of life. 

And when we arrive at Yom Kippur to atone for all the wrong we have done, we may be surprised by how short that list has become, and by God giving us a little pat on the back.