To Learn or Not to Learn

How often have we seen those TV offers: “Act now before it’s too late! Call right now and get free shipping!” Most of which I did nothing about.  

For over 35 years, I have also been offered the opportunity to learn with some of the top Jewish minds in Los Angeles. Classes on strengthening a marriage, parenting, understanding the evils of gossip, learning Torah and much more. Like the TV offers, I have done little about it — proof that there is a God. I’m still married, my kids love me, and I only gossip about people who owe me money. 

I have owned two complete sets of the Talmud, each numbering 73 volumes. I felt so guilty about not learning from them that I sold both sets.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a complete doofus. If in town, I go once or twice a week to hear Rabbi Muskin, our family rabbi, and various other rabbis speak, but I don’t make time to take their classes. I’ve always loved learning, and a day doesn’t go by that I don’t try to listen to or read something Jewish. That’s nice, but as the Lubavitcher Rebbe said, “You can do more.” 

Even as an adult, when my parents offered me their homespun Bronx wisdom, I’m ashamed to say I rarely — if ever — took their help or wanted to learn from them.  When people who genuinely love and care about you offer words from the heart, try to hear them. Back then, I knew nothing of Kibbud Av Va’em (Respect for your parents). So, I hurt them a lot.  If I knew then what I know now, the road may have been less bumpy.  

The funny thing is that I am now — and have always been — a person needing daily guidance, but I refused it for much of my life. Well, after over a decade of talk therapy, where I yanked the crank of my therapist, joking or pointing the finger at others, I was as clueless as a leaf in a windstorm. Though truly wanting to be helpful, most, if not all, of my therapists lacked the wisdom of our Jewish holy books. 

So, what am I learning these days? My friend Jonathan and I have been doing the weekly parsha by Zoom on Friday mornings for over a year. We learn something from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Rabbi Zev Wiener. We dedicate each session to the IDF or other Jewish groups needing prayer. 

Then there is one of the lights in my life, my daughter-in-law Anna. Anna and I try to learn together at least one day a week. We call each other our “chavrusa.” We pick certain Jewish books, like “The Sabbath” by Heschel or Rabbi Lamms’ five-volume set of his Derashot (shabbat sermons) from the 1970s. We read a chapter alone, and both highlight what’s important to us; many times, it’s the same thing. Then, we reread it together and discuss it. It is one of my highlights of the week. I love spending the 30-45 minutes on FaceTime with Anna, and I know she enjoys it, too.

We missed our Thursday study recently, so we decided to do it on Shabbat when my son Jacob, Anna, and their two kids came to lunch. My son was napping so my wife, Nancy, said she would watch our two grandkids while we learned. 

While Anna and I were in the backyard learning, their almost five-year-old son Ben came out. We told him what we were doing and invited him to learn Torah. He somehow understood what we were doing was important and could be a part of it if he was quiet. Again, proof that there is a God, he was silent. After one or two minutes, he placed his head in his mother’s lap, looked up at the sky, perhaps counting the clouds as they rolled by, and listened to our discussion. We hope it was the first of many Torah classes that he will join us. 

After the class, I told him I would get him a nice gift because he had learned Torah with us. That’s something I did learn in a Torah class I took.

Mark Schiff is a comedian, actor and writer, and hosts, along with Danny Lobell, the “We Think It’s Funny” podcast. His new book is “Why Not? Lessons on Comedy, Courage and Chutzpah.”