Easing the Pain of Betrayal

Two recent speakers at Shabbat services talked movingly about having their hearts broken by organizations that betrayed them.

The first had been a leader of a group safeguarding abortion rights. But following the Oct. 7 massacre, her coworkers decided that vilifying Israel, and those who defend it, was a worthier goal. While their mandate was to protect a woman’s dignity and agency, they willfully ignored what happened to women in Israel that terrible day. Obviously, they cared more about validating their “progressive” credentials than about their purported cause. She spoke about being one of many Jews who was distraught to find herself no longer comfortable being part of a once beloved organization. 

The other speaker was a prominent author who has proudly supported a national lobbying association devoted to preserving free speech, decrying book-banning, and the like. But soon after the massacre, they came out for boycotting Israeli writers and the “Zionists” who endorsed them. Protecting the First Amendment and advocating for all writers, it turned out, was secondary to admonishing Israel. As in the first case, he was deeply distressed to witness former colleagues jumping on the bandwagon of Jew-hatred. 

Alas, many of us can tell similar tales. But if we celebrate those who are using their public platforms to denounce antisemitism, while distracting ourselves on occasion with whatever brings us joy, it might just help stanch the pain of betrayal.

All I knew about Congressman Ritchie Torres, Democrat from the South Bronx, was that he was a member of the “Progressive Caucus,” a group whose demonization of Israel seems more important to them than protecting the environment, defending a woman’s right to choose and related causes. But Torres has been consistent in advocating for Israel, and in condemning terrorism and antisemitism.

New Jersey Senator Cory Booker, another Democratic member of Congress, has long been a stalwart in his defense of Israel. He was a co-sponsor in 2018 of the Israel Anti-Boycott Act, which, with limited backing from other Democrats, was never brought to a vote. Booker has doubled down on his pro-Israel stance after Oct. 7, writing that while he blamed Prime Minister Netanyahu for having “made ensuring true Israeli security, ending the conflict, and establishing a lasting and just peace more difficult … I support the State of Israel – its security, its flourishing, and its profound potential.” And most recently, during his historic 25-hour speech on the floor of Congress, Booker reminded us that an American, Edan Alexander, is still being held captive in Gaza.

Then there is Pennsylvania Democrat, Senator John Fetterman. I don’t know whether the rumors are true that he undermined the vice-presidential candidacy of his fellow Pennsylvanian, Governor Josh Shapiro, but he has become the conscience of his party with regard to calling out terrorists and those who enable them. Israel, and the Jewish people, have no greater supporter in Washington.

Recognizing the boldness of these righteous allies can diminish some of the sting from those who have abandoned us. Another salve comes from seeing Jews affirming their identities in the public eye.

I was thrilled watching the recent ESPN interview with Auburn men’s basketball coach, Bruce Pearl, leading up to his Final Four semifinal game against the University of Florida. Over his shoulder, for all to see, was the Israeli flag. Not at all surprising since, at a press conference earlier in the week, Pearl, a self-described ”proud Jewish-American,” focused less on basketball than on the plight of the hostages and on Israel’s fight for survival. 

Ironically, Pearl’s opposing coach, Todd Golden, is an Israeli-American, who played for Pearl at the Maccabi Games. And then you have a third Final Four coach, Duke’s Jon Scheyer, who, like Godin, played basketball in Israel and has dual U.S.-Israeli citizenship.

To top it off, Florida ultimately beat the University of Houston for the national championship, a team starring Emanuel Sharp, who was born, you guessed it, in Tel Aviv.

What a well-needed distraction from the miseries of the world!

We mustn’t let our hurt and anger rob us of all joy, or to focus so much on those who have betrayed us that we lose sight of those who have publicly supported us.

Morton Schapiro is the former president of Williams College and Northwestern University. His most recent book (with Gary Saul Morson) is “Minds Wide Shut: How the New Fundamentalisms Divide Us.”