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Is Now a Good Time to Panic? Jewish Parenting in the Time of Pandemic

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August 4, 2020
Photo by Getty Images

I’ve been thinking a lot about how God must be very busy these days. His normal volume of prayers must certainly be at an all time high, given the logical equation of: Number of People on Earth Today x Global Suffering = Total Prayers. Personally, I’ve been limiting my communication with the Big guy to only the essential matters. Sometimes I’ll even tell God that I’m NOT asking for his help right now, but if he could just be on the lookout in case I do need him in the future that’d be great…thanks!

This typically Jewish mind game of God talk has me wondering why other folks don’t seem to engage in these same mental gymnastics. As Jews we worry so much we even worry about God! Is he getting enough sleep with all the extra workload? Jewish worry is so ingrained in our cultural identity it’s become a joke, a literal meme that’s shared on social media, but is all this extra ‘oy’ taking away from our collective joy? The superstitious culture of fearing the ‘ayin hara’ – the evil eye, is a catch-22 thief of joy because if you celebrate your joy you may lose it.

I love following non-Jewish moms on social media because I’m constantly amazed by their utter positivity. It shines through from their #blessed posts about everything from their morning Starbucks to their Target runs. The most obvious contrast is when it comes to pregnancy related posts. Some Jewish moms will hardly say a word online until after the bris whereas typical anglo-American culture will have you thinking Week 5 is an appropriate time to decorate the nursery. I’ve become a bit jealous of how other moms seem to have so much faith in things always turning out alright.

Now that we’re in the midst of a global Pandemic, and have a very good daily opportunity to worry, I think my ancestral inclination to lean into this anxiety is entirely unhelpful. You can’t simultaneously hold the schizophrenic belief in a good and just world and at the same time fear that not spitting after saying ‘God forbid’ or throwing salt over the wrong shoulder could result in utter catastrophe. 

In Judaism we are commanded to constantly be thankful for what we have. To thank God throughout our day with every blessing. Yet in Jewish superstition we’re commanded to take every precaution to not lose that which we hold dear. I’ve found this double-edged mental pressure entirely exhausting.

So I’ve decided to have a little more faith.

I’ve decided to concentrate on my actual problems instead of worrying about things that haven’t happened yet and God forbid won’t! – Keinehora! (See what I did there?). I think in Judaism worry has become synonymous with love. The more concerned and overbearing we are about our children the more we demonstrate our love for them. Have they had enough to eat? Is their coat warm enough? How will they ever know how precious they are if we don’t constantly remind them of it? Instead, I’m going to try to demonstrate my love through trust and embrace the positive in the possibility. 

In this way I hope that I will connect to God in a way that goes beyond bargaining onto his good side. As part of my pandemic parenting philosophy I hope to show my children that there is beauty and goodness in this world, even within its most chaotic appearance.


Marion Haberman is a writer and content creator for her YouTube/MyJewishMommyLife channel and Instagram @MyJewishMommyLife page where she shares her experience living a meaning-FULL Jewish family life. Marion is author of, ‘Expecting Jewish!’ She is also a professional social media consultant and web and television writer for Discovery Channel, NOAA and NatGeo and has an MBA from Georgetown University.

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