fbpx

Across the Eighth Dimension with Donald Trump—and AIPAC

[additional-authors]
March 24, 2016

Watching The Donald’s scripted reformation as a born-again Zionist, I dozed off and awoke back in ’84 watching The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension.

A rocking Hong Kong Cavalier and neurosurgeon, Buckaroo, as his fans will never forget, was “born to an American mother and a Japanese father, and thus began life as he was destined to live it—going in several directions at once . . .”

In the flick, the ethnicity of Buckaroo’s mother was unspecified, but in my reverie she was an Esther-like paragon Jewish American princess who equaled Jesse Owens’ medals at Hitler’s Olympics.

His ancestry made my Buckaroo a perfect foil to Donald Trump’s bigoted neo-Isolationism as well as a legendary leader of AIPAC who performed saving Zionist brain surgery on Ronald Reagan after “Cap” Whineberger tried to poison the president’s ear with anti-Zionist rot.

Unfortunately, I awoke the next morning to the real world of AIPAC and President Lillian Pinkus’ tearful apologetics for Trump’s overly-applauded, lèse-majesté against President Obama.

I’m hoping to next dream of Fox’s Trumpophobic Megyn Kelly: unapologetic, dry-eyed (au contraire to The Donald’s smear about her temperamental chemistry), converted, and coronated as AIPAC’s first female president.

If President Obama wants apologies, he should cry over his tasteless last tango in Argentina in the wake of the Brussels' attack—and express regrets for his Administration’s more sinning-than-sinned-against stance toward Israel’s government.

In Anti-Trump World or Marlon Brando’s pre-ISIS Paris, Buckaroo and Megyn would make quite an item.

Again in the real world, I share the AIPAC audience's comfort level with Hillary Clinton.

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

Sushi Day Recipes with Marisa Baggett

Whether you’re a longtime sushi lover or a newbie to preparing this creative cuisine, Baggett’s recipes are a delicious way to mark the holiday.

What Antisemitism Requires of Us

The current Jewish debate cannot end with a choice between fighting antisemites and strengthening Jewish life. Both are necessary, but neither fully answers what this moment requires.

Is History Asking Too Much of Us?

The question for the Jewish people today is not merely whether we believe in the future but whether we are willing to become the kind of people that the future requires.

Rosner’s Domain | Can Israel’s Image Be Fixed?

Israelis view themselves as fighting for survival, just, fair, moral and brave, while the rest of the world sees something else entirely, viewing Israel as a country that has lost its brakes, destabilizing the order and running amok without justification.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.