Trump vs Biden: Vote Your Conscience, Veto the Hate

The nerves are fraying. We are days away from the moment of contact, the climax after years of trash talking, when one political tribe finally clashes with the other, and, hopefully, a winner emerges.

I have dear friends who think the world will end if Trump wins; I have dear friends who think the world will end if Biden wins. I try to never invite them to the same Shabbat table. (The lockdown has helped.)

In conversing with both sides over recent months, I did notice one thing in particular many of them have in common: Both sides can’t stand what they call the idiots and fools who support the other side.

That anger, that condescending rage directed at the opposing tribe, is as important to their vote as the candidate himself.

Remember those warrior movies where two armies face each other on a huge field, each one pumped up for battle with their spears or swords or whatever weapon was fashionable?

This is how it feels right now: two political armies facing one another, ready for their final battle, but instead of weapons, they’re flashing their middle fingers. Come election day, it won’t be enough for their side to win; they want the other side to lose. They want to crush them. The middle finger wraps up all those sentiments in one economical gesture.

Among my friends who are Biden voters, there is some concern that he won’t have the fortitude to fend off the far-left wing of his party, and that his advanced age and polite demeanor will be used against him to push through an extremist agenda.

But their hatred for the Trumpian universe is too deep to consider any other choice.

Among my friends who are Trump voters, there is some concern that his reckless style will go too far in a second term, when he doesn’t need to be re-elected, and that he’ll never figure out how to conquer COVID-19 and rebuild the economy.

But their hatred for the Democrats’ universe is too deep to consider any other choice.

Why are we so focused on our opponents? For one thing, because they’re so darn visible, especially in these days of ubiquitous social media. The snarky Twitter putdown of your ideological opponent has become the weapon of choice in today’s political warfare.

We also associate opposing tribes with broad, distasteful stereotypes, which makes it easier to hate. If you’re a Trump voter, your enemies are coastal elites who look down on you and send American jobs overseas. If you’re a Biden voter, your enemies are gun-toting white folks who go to Trump rallies and wear MAGA hats.

We also associate opposing tribes with broad, distasteful stereotypes, which makes it easier to hate.

We’re way past the point of engaging in any type of constructive argument. We can wax aspirational about “civil dialogue” and all that, but let’s not kid ourselves. The divisions are real. The contempt is real. Trump voters despise Biden voters; Biden voters despise Trump voters.

There is, I confess, something liberating about no longer pretending that one side can get along with the other, about looking reality straight in the face. Yes, as they say, it is what it is.

I have only one wish: if one must hate, then let’s hate quietly. Hate is a bad enough feeling without needing a verbal echo. Your vote is more important than your mouth. Vote your conscience, keep fighting for your cause, but veto the hate.

If your side wins, don’t crow. If your side loses, don’t cry. Whatever you do, hate quietly. Our country is going through a divisive and traumatic period, but we’ve seen worse and we will muddle through. At this point, I’m just hoping that a clear victor will be decided next week — and that we can put at least that decision behind us.

If your side wins, don’t crow. If your side loses, don’t cry. Whatever you do, hate quietly.

Which side am I on? On the side of keeping the struggle but losing the hate. The less hate we put on display, the better our chances of returning to a semblance of our better selves.

And God, whichever side you’re on, please don’t forget to bless America.