Rachel Bloom’s Jewiest music videos
‘You Can Touch My Boobies’
While Bloom preps young Jeffrey Goldstein for his bar mitzvah, he falls into a dream in which she reappears as a fishnet-clad vixen ready to make him a man.
Best line: A cameo appearance by “Golda Meir” in which she scolds, “You’re going to be a rapist!”
Views: 5 million+
In a parody of “Santa Baby,” Bloom wears a blue-and-white Santa outfit to try to seduce her Jewish crush by playing up their tribal bond and cooing, “Come and bless my challah tonight.”
Best line: “At the JCC / you play basketball / so tall! / You must be five foot eight.”
‘JAP Rap Battle’
‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ (2016)
Rebecca Bunch (Bloom) and her childhood nemesis, Audra Levine (Rachel Grate), duke it out in the Jewish American Princess Rap battle. These two “She-brews from Scarsdale” drop crazy Jewish verse, insulting each other with references to Birthright, AEPi and seder plates.
Best line: “We’re liberals / duh / progressive as hell / though of course I support Is-ra-el.”
‘Remember That We Suffered’
‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ (2017)
At a bar mitzvah in Scarsdale, Rebecca’s childhood rabbi (Patti LuPone) and over-the-top mother (Tovah Feldshuh) prove that even during celebration, trauma is never too far from the Jewish psyche. This horah contains “the sweet and the bitter / Streisand and Hitler.”
Best line: “When I say ‘We,’ you say ‘Suffered’ / We — Suffered! / We — Suffered!”
‘F—- Me, Ray Bradbury’
Bloom proves she’s a person of the book with this explicit entreaty to “the greatest sci-fi writer in history.”
Best line: “I’ll feed you grapes and dandelion wine / and we’ll read a little Fahrenheit 69.”
Views: 3.7 million +
‘Historically Accurate Disney Princess Song’
Bloom offers a feminist send-up of Disney fairy tales as she searches for her prince in a medieval village decimated by the plague where Jews hide in the forest out of fear for their lives.
Best line: “Oh look everyone! It’s my friends from the forest — The Jews! Hello Jews! … Tell me, have you ever had a dream you thought wouldn’t come true? Oh I see, your dream is that people won’t want to kill you. Well, that’s definitely a dream that won’t come true!”
Views: 1.2 million+