Two months ago I was attacked by a dog outside Lamalo kosher restaurant on Pico Boulevard. It belonged to a community member. I said a friendly hello to him, his girlfriend stood up to hug me, and his dog leapt out from under the table, attacking and biting my groin. He pulled the dog’s leash as I narrowly missed falling into oncoming traffic. After the attack, my friend who is the head chef quipped, “At least Marcus is alive.”
Lamalo’s food was great, but I didn’t realize I’d be the dessert.
A large dog attacking your privates isn’t as bad as being hit by a car. I’m grateful the dog attacked me, since it was Sunday morning and the restaurant was full of families with young children. Far better it got me than a toddler.
That afternoon I performed at a staged reading in Hollywood, and then went to Urgent Care. I was scratched, bruised and scarred, but will recover.
The dog was a five-year-old rescued boxer mix with a traumatic background. Just because someone chooses to rescue a traumatized dog, why should our safety be put at risk?
Three questions were asked by friends. English friends asked, “How are you?” Americans asked, “Ae you going to sue him?” Obsessive dog-lovers asked, “Will the dog be ok?”
We have a problem with misplaced compassion towards animals. The dog’s owner was remorseful, offered to pay medical bills and damages, bought a muzzle and contacted a dog trainer. I’m not going to sue him, or pursue the dog’s destruction, but my eyes are open to the dangers.
Every year there are 4.5 million dog attacks in the US. Four hundred thousand emergency room visits, and 30-50 fatalities, of which 50% are under the age of 17. Seventy-six percent of fatal dog attacks are by pit bulls and Rottweilers, with mixed breeds, German shepherds and boxers hot on their tail.
Working dogs deserve praise, whether it’s for search and rescue, police work, farms, or medical assistance. But there is a growing dog obsession in Los Angeles, and it’s grown out of control.
Dating apps are a litmus test. Seventy percent of women’s profiles have photos holding a dog (I can’t speak for men). Many describe themselves as a “dog mom” (isn’t there another name for a dog’s mother?), have rules like “don’t date me if you don’t love dogs,” and display “fur babies.” Whatever happened to just wanting real babies?
When a date’s first question was, “How do you feel about dogs?” I nearly answered “I definitely don’t think they should be served as entrees in Vietnamese restaurants.”
Everyone chooses what to do in their own home, but why should their choices affect others? I once moved because the neighbor’s lapdog barked at all hours and the owners didn’t care. It’s jarring when invited to a friend and enduring 10 minutes of their dog barking “until it gets used to you.”
The Talmud says that the generation prior to the Messiah’s arrival will “have the face of a dog” (South 49b), so perhaps Moshiach will implement canine control.
When I suggested there should be more euthanasia of traumatized attack dogs in shelters, some people reacted with, “Would you kill a traumatized child? It’s the same thing.” Except it isn’t. A dangerous animal needs to be trained, restrained or sent to the kennel in the sky.
Is this article trolling for rage-bait, to provoke a reaction? Perhaps, but my bark is worse than my bite.
I grew up with cats, and appreciate their cleanliness. I’ve never understood the attraction of getting a puppy, knowing you’ll have to clean up waste for its entire life. At least most children are toilet-trained by three or four.
I recently dated a lovely Argentinian who had rescued a pit bull from a high-kill shelter near Los Angeles, just before it would have been anaesthetized. “Marrrcosss,” she purred, “when will you meet my dog?” I replied, “never?” “Marrcosss, that could be a problem.” No kidding. Hasta la vista, muchaha.
God created everything for a reason, including Rottweilers and bully dogs. I don’t know what the purpose is, but it’s there. Every dog has its day…as long as it doesn’t ruin mine.
Marcus J Freed is an actor and writer. His award-winning play Marcus Is Alive is back in Hollywood for two performances, February 12th & 15th. Tickets @ www.marcusisalive.com.
