“My Unorthodox Life,” a new reality show on Netflix that follows the life of Julia Haart, a formerly religious Jewish woman-turned-secular-CEO of a modeling agency premiered this week on Netflix. While showing offer her luxury lifestyle, Haart disparages the Orthodox community and recounts the oppression and fundamentalism she said she experienced.
To show a different side of the story, Alexandra Fleksher, co-host of the “Normal Frum Women” podcast and columnist for Mispacha Magazine, started a #MyOrthodoxLife hashtag on social media that’s blown up overnight. On Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, frum women are posting their stories, showing how they are out and about in the world, working hard, choosing to be Orthodox and not oppressed in the slightest.
“We’re not trying to diminish anyone who went off the derech,” Fleksher said, in an interview with the Journal. “We’re giving women the opportunity to share why they are proud to be Orthodox, and to change the narrative regarding the damage the show can do in terms of representing Orthodox women.”
“We’re giving women the opportunity to share why they are proud to be Orthodox, and to change the narrative regarding the damage the show can do in terms of representing Orthodox women.”
Fleksher kicked off the hashtag by posting her own story. She wrote on Instagram, “I want the world to know that there are Orthodox women who are leading happy, healthy and fulfilled Orthodox lives. Who straddle the fence of the modern world and ancient tradition, and are proud that our tradition interacts with the modern world and informs our values and lives. I’m a spiritually striving, discerning Orthodox woman who loves the best that this physical world has to offer.”
Other women soon followed suit. One Facebook post from Eve Levy, co-director at L’Chaim Center for Inspired Living, has received over 900 likes. She wrote, “I think I need my own TV series called ‘My Orthodox Life.’ Netflix, move over, you are focusing on the wrong stories. Not all of us have been filled with trauma and abuse. Not all of us are running away. I absolutely LOVE being an Orthodox Jewish Woman.”
Rivki Silver, co-host of the “Normal Frum Women” podcast, posted on Instagram about how she loves that the Torah gives her the “tools to become a more humble, more self-aware, a more grateful and kinder person.”
On Twitter, Tova Herskovitz, co-founder of Boss Brands, wrote about how she attended a Jewish outreach camp in Belarus, got a master’s degree, founded a community garden and started a WhatsApp group for moms of twins, all of which her Orthodox community supported.
“As someone who works to build bridges between the local Orthodox community and their neighbors, I was horrified to learn that there was a show that was going to portray Orthodox people as unrelatable and alien,” Herskovitz told the Journal. “I hope that Netflix and Hollywood realize that maligning the Orthodox community and our religious observance is not something they can do without resistance. Like any minority, we should be treated with respect and nuance rather than a trope.”
Silver said that perpetuating harmful stereotypes about the Orthodox community could lead to Jews being or feeling unsafe. “These hurtful tropes are not true. They can add to increased misperceptions. When I’m on the street with my hair covered and in modest dress with my children who are visibly Orthodox, I don’t feel as safe if I’m not in my community bubble. People will now think that I’m abusing my children with my fundamentalist beliefs. It’s very hurtful at a time when antisemitism is at a crazy all-time high.”
However, frum women are going to fight back and show their truth. Fleksher and Silver are showcasing real stories from frum women on their podcast, and they’re going to continue pushing the hashtag.
“I wanted frum women to have a platform to say, ‘This doesn’t feel right and it’s not the Judaism I know,’” Fleksher said. “Haart may have her own experiences and pain and difficulties and feel like she was suffocating in that world. I can respect that. But please don’t speak for all of us and paint these broad brushstrokes that this is what Orthodoxy is. We’re going to show the world that it’s not.”
