If You March With Nazis, Guess What, You’re a Nazi

August 31, 2020
Members of the National Socialist Movement, one of the largest neo-Nazi groups in the US, hold a swastika burning after a rally on April 21, 2018 in Draketown, Georgia. Community members had opposed the rally in Newnan and came out to embrace racial unity in the small Georgia town. Fearing a repeat of the violence that broke out after Charlottesville, hundreds of police officers were stationed in the town during the rally in an attempt to keep the anti racist protesters and neo-Nazi groups separated. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

So, I have this acquaintance in Berlin.

He’s part of this great big Berliner woo-woo community that I used to dip in and out of.

They’re into cacao ceremonies and ecstatic dance retreats and conscious-communication weekends with home-made vegan treats made by a girl named Shakti. (Well. Their real name is usually Anja but they go by Shakti now.)

So today I saw on his FB page. “ICH BIN KEIN NAZI nur weil ich mit Nazis gegen Coronavirus massnahmen demonstrieren.”

Translated: “I am not a Nazi just because I march with Nazis against Corona restrictions.”

Annnnnnnnd here’s the thing, You are exactly a Nazi if you march with Nazis. Let me repeat that.

You: Yes, you, in your stupid hippie pants from the India import shop, you with your dreadlocks and patchouli perfume, you with your OM Sanskrit tattoo: YOU are a Nazi if you march side by side with Nazis.

I don’t care how many Himalyan crystal salt lamps you have.

I don’t care about your Ashtanga workshops.

If you march side by side with Nazis, your white-boy dreadlocks are not going to protect you from being called what you are. Which, again, is a Nazi.

You are exactly those Germans from the 1930 who said  “But I have nothing against the Jews! I vote for the Nazi’s because I want the trains to run on time and the economy to be strong.” What do we call those people today? They are called Nazis.

So you can say with your wide,  ayuasca-outed eyes, until the cows come home:

“But, but, but, but I don’t believe in far right extremism! I stand for freedom and civil liberties and against the governments lies.”

You, my little Shakti Devi Katrina or whatever your real name is, will have the great privilege of telling your grandkids that in the middle of the biggest public health crisis of our time, you helped by whinging about putting a stupid piece of cloth over your mouth so others could not sicken.

I sincerely hope that if, G-d forbid,  your beloved grandmother were to sicken and there were no more ventilators, that your amethyst yoni egg and some chlorella powder would fix it.

In the mean time, thanks for the reminder that hateful people don’t always wear swastikas, sometimes they have a house full of crystals and a yoga mat in every room.

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