As I have watched the election unfold, I have done exactly what I vowed not to do: scroll through Facebook and Instagram. And while many comments call for action and advocate for a better world, others directly shame people, attack “friends,” and amplify hateful speech and dangerous rhetoric.
Whatever this day brings, I am reminded of this important verse from our tradition:
“You shall not hate your brother in your heart. Reprove your countryman so you will not be guilty because of him.”
Meaning, don’t harbor hate because you have something to say to someone with whom you disagree. Civil discourse is not about being polite, silent, and holding back. However, civil discourse involves a thoughtful strategy and method that involves an immense amount of listening and understanding. This is a difference between engaging in a conversation and offering verbal abuse.
The Orchot Tzadikim, a book of Jewish ethics, asks and answers the question, “How shall you rebuke? At first, secretly and gently. However, if you rebuke him at the beginning in public and shame him, then you have sinned because of this.”
Our tradition reminds us that shaming someone is akin to murder. There is no room for understanding or insight. The other person only remembers that another human being took the time to engage in public embarrassment and deep humiliation.
State that you disagree. Reveal your own hurt and disappointment. But public attacks, verbal and physical aggression, and name calling further divides this already polarized nation.
Let us carefully choose our words. Let us thoughtfully choose where to say them. Our words can build or destroy worlds; it is a choice we make every single day.
I choose to build. I hope you will too.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Nicole Guzik is a rabbi at Sinai Temple. She can be reached at her Facebook page at Rabbi Nicole Guzik.
