fbpx

Evil Jew, league applicant, will ‘cut you down to circumcise’

[additional-authors]
October 15, 2008

The applications are in for membership in the Evil League of Evil. You’ve never heard of the ELE? Here’s a little background from Geekdad:

Last summer, Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog captured our imaginations and, yes, our hearts with the tragic tale of a man, a woman, a hero, and a Freeze Ray. This highly successful internet musical not only added Wonderflonium to our collective vocabulary, it also made it alright to cheer for the bad guys. But what about those among us who want to be the bad guys?

Those readers may be interested to know that Bad Horse’s ultra-exclusive cadre of malcontents and ne’re-do-wells, the Evil League of Evil, is currently seeking new applicants. (Apparently Dead Bowie and Fake Thomas Jefferson aren’t exactly pulling their weight.)

Requirements included being evil. “It’s a plus to have a name.” And the league offered these points of clarification:

  1. Henchmen need not apply. Please contact your union.

  2. Evil can be something of a family affair.

  3. We’re evil, not stupid.

  4. Finalists may be contacted by the League or its agents.

This certainly beats the invitation to create your own religion. But I’ve got no evil shtick. I actually strive for the opposite.

Tur-Mohel, though—“he’ll cut you down/to circumcise”—he’s one bad Jew I wouldn’t want to mess with.

How evil is he? Well, he and his minyan once conspired to circumcise the statue of David. (The Yiddishist’s “Fight Club” plot failed because marble foreskin isn’t so easy to remove.) Enjoy:

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

The Legacy of Everyday Love

We may not remember every conversation or every accomplishment, but we remember how people made us feel. In the end, it is those ordinary acts of kindness that stay with us the longest.

I’m So (Sorta) Sorry

The classic case of a “nonapology” apology is when the allegedly contrite offender says something to the effect of “I’m so sorry that you’re upset.” Note that the speaker doesn’t actually acknowledge doing anything wrong.

Off the Hook

Without noticing it, my body has gone from a shiny new Audi to a dented rent-a-wreck. I went from “Let me get it” to “Just give me two minutes to catch my breath.”

AIPAC’s New Challenge

AIPAC’s leaders face fundamental strategic questions unlike those they have confronted in the modern era.… Their ability to adapt to these new circumstances will define not only their future, but that of the U.S.-Israel relationship in this uncertain era.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.