fbpx

Reality Competition Shows: When We All Become Critics.

[additional-authors]
May 21, 2015

Troy was a couple of years older.  He was married with one child when we started medical school together.  We had similar interests-  less beer and sports, more art, music and philosophy.

I experienced many firsts with him- from classic movies, to great operas, from staying up all night awaiting shooting stars in Joshua Tree to skipping class for French baguettes and caffeinated hyperbole. 

There are those in whose company you feel you belonged your whole life.

I grew close to him, but every time I let my guard down, he pushed me into an uncomfortable corner.  Troy was a perfectionist.  He judged harshly.  In a beautiful antique masterpiece, he pointed out the crack in the corner.  In a triumphant movie, he took pride in finding flaw.  Where I found wonder, he crushed it with cutting critique.

At times, this atheist was certain that if he were God, the world would be a better place.

In my house, we used to watch the now cancelled American Idol, before we switched over to The Voice.  My kids learned quickly from Simon:  To appear smart, criticize! 

Reality competition shows have trained us to roast the contestants.  We feel superior, not only to the participants, not only to the judges, but also to our friends sitting beside us, in front of the set, when we guess the winner early.  “See,” we say.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

We grow up in schools where grades kill our creative outlet, constantly in fear of failure.  As adults, we are trained to mock those who trip.  When we walk into a magnificent building, we boast, not noticing the grandeur, but zooming in on the “missing tile” as coined by Dennis Prager. 

Trouble is- sometimes all we see is the defect.  The scar becomes the person.

Criticism, constant crucifixion, is the biggest killer of relationships.  Cynicism drives in the nails.  Eventually, the trained knife of judgment slashes the hearts of those closest to the critic.

Troy and I grew apart.  I continued to have distant respect, but did not want to be jaded.

I treasure that curious child within me, who in the words of Picasso, still wants to remain an artist.

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

The Beat Goes On

While so much of the world seems obsessed with and consumed by its hatred of Israel and Jews, Israelis continue to build, create, work, celebrate, argue, raise families, and plan for the future.

Viral AI Video Targets Jewish Comedian

“The biggest concern is that people now have a pathway to shut down Jewish voices through complete falsities that people will believe. … For the future of Jewish entertainment, it’s very scary.”

Yiddish Historians: Writing in Their Own Language for Their Own People

Mark Smith has compiled an important anthology of Jewish history using 49 works by Yiddish historians to recreate or at least open the door to a world of Jewish thought that was once almost mainstream, but which no longer exists, except in the minds of too few specialists.

The Everlasting Melody

Most Jews who have sung “Eitz Chaim” over the past half-century probably never knew Portnoy. They did not know when he wrote the melody or how young he was when he composed it. They simply knew the song.

Who’s Really the Victim?

Those who would revel in Israel’s demise are claiming victimhood on every front and denying attacks on us in the same breath.

Biblical Deterrence

After Oct. 7, the sentiment in Israel toward the Iranian leadership was unequivocal: You went medieval — so we will go biblical.

How Sukkot Makes Us Whole

This year, I bless us that we open our eyes to truly see the beauty and the holiness of the world, and of the person before us at each and every moment, and to see the godliness of their aspirations and their fears.

The New Ushpizot

Ushpizin invite us to “welcome in our ancestral constellation and dwell amongst them.” This year, it’s Ushpizot, for the women. It’s the year of the Feminist Visitation.

Macklemore, Or Less

In between his songs, he proclaimed, “Free Palestine,” which is fine, asserted that opposing Israeli military actions is not antisemitic, which is accurate, and accused Israel of apartheid and genocide, which is offensive, untrue and hateful.

The Rokeach’s Remarkable Sukkah

To Rabbi Eleazar ben Judah of Worms (1176-1238), the medieval German pietist known as the Rokeach, the sukkah symbolized Jewish military might.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.