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May 21, 2015

Car accident puts inventor on his life’s path

Josh (Yehoshua) Shachar’s resume is impressive: more than 160 patents on innovations he has helped develop, founder of more than 10 high-tech companies and author of countless research papers. A typical day for him could mean working on multimillion-dollar aircraft and missiles for the Department of Defense or the next generation of smart medical device technologies. 

But to this 58-year-old, these are all simply milestones on a journey that began when he was a young child. 

Born in 1956 in Haifa, Israel, Shachar recalls, even from his earliest days, being someone whose passion was to learn the “why” behind all things — from trying to figure out how a particular machine worked, to understanding the rules of sociopolitical interactions, to looking up at the stars at night and pondering how the whole universe fits together.

“As a young boy, I remember I always tried to figure out how things work and how to solve problems in a different way,” he said. “I was about 9 or 10 when I built my first refrigerator using a box of ice. Then I built a radio with a cord and nail that received AM frequencies.”

After his service in the Israeli military and his studies at the University of Haifa and at the Sorbonne in France, Shachar decided to pursue a doctorate at UCLA. Three years into his studies, however, he was involved in a serious car crash that sent him to the hospital, where he stayed on and off for six months for surgeries and treatments. 

The accident changed his life in a profound way, he said, cutting short his studies but making him realize that it was more important to pursue his real passion: inventing.

In 1981, Shachar created his first technology company, the Chatsworth-based ThermoControl Inc., which developed a laser temperature-sensing system. Other advanced engineering and technology companies followed, some founded and then sold. They worked on technologies and equipment used today by the U.S. military as well as in aviation and medicine. All of this was done with almost no prior knowledge in these fields. He learned as he went along, studying what he believed could bring better results in the operating room or on the battlefield.

Eventually, he began to move away from his successful work with the military and aerospace. The idea started after speaking with Edward Teller, the Jewish father of the hydrogen bomb.  


His mother developed heart issues that required a cardio-catheter procedure. After watching the doctor at work, he thought, “Can we do this better? Can we do this smarter?”

“Teller, who was arguably one of the greatest physicists of our time, spoke to us about the need to move away from a military complex mindset to one of ‘dual-use technology,’ where whatever work we were doing could be adapted over to civilian application,” Shachar said. “He obviously foresaw not only the movement away from the dependence on defense budgets but also the growing opportunity for commercialization of the technologies we were creating.”

But there was a secondary reason: His mother developed heart issues that required a cardio-catheter procedure. After watching the doctor at work, he thought, “Can we do this better? Can we do this smarter?”

That was in 1998, and it led, four years later, to the creation of Magnetecs Corp. Shachar is CEO and chief technology officer of the Inglewood-based company, which features 25,000 square feet of office and lab space and employs 130 workers (engineers, technicians and doctors) developing inventions for military and medical use. The company makes a robotic Catheter Guidance Control and Imaging system (CGCI) that enables physicians to precisely control surgical tools in highly dynamic or previously inaccessible environments.

“It’s less invasive and the recovery period is much faster,” Shachar said. “I’ve seen a patient in Madrid who suffered from a serious heart problem. His doctors used CGCI during the operation, and he came out after four hours, feeling great. The results are immediate.”

He said CGCI systems have been installed in Spain and South Korea. Now the company is in its final negotiation stage with a major medical center to test it in the United States and is seeking approval from the Food and Drug Administration. 

Knowing that one of his inventions has the power to help someone makes Shachar happy, but it’s not what drives him.

“What makes me the happiest is starting on a new invention, a new project,” he said. “This is my calling in life, and when you do what you love, you are happy.”

This, despite the fact that his calling involves a lot of patience, given that it can take years to complete a project and see it to market.

“I like the saying: A thousand miles start with the first step,” Shachar said. “I have patience and I know that along the way, I’ll face waves and bumps, and I’m ready for that. The waves in life don’t faze me. Happiness never exists unless you work hard.”

Shachar has worked hard, sometimes funding projects on his own.

“We have shareholders, but in the beginning, I used to fund all my ideas and patents myself,” he said. “I invested a lot of my own money on my inventions, and I like to say that I have never earned a penny I didn’t work for.”

Shachar still manages to find time to watch movies and write. His office library contains professional books written by him on such subjects as robotics and remote navigation, side-by-side with “The Dread in the Literature of the Anonymous,” a work of fiction he wrote.

His three children, born and reared in Los Angeles, now live abroad. His older daughter is a doctor in Israel, his son studies medicine in Italy, and his youngest child is a soldier in the Israeli army. He and his wife, Dorit, live in Santa Monica, near the beach, and have another home in Caesarea, Israel, overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. 

Whatever you do, though, don’t mention the word retirement.

“Retiring? Never. But moving back to Israel eventually? Sure,” he said. “I can’t picture myself ever doing nothing. If I won’t be able to invent, I won’t be happy, and I was never unhappy in my life. I’m looking forward to each day at work. For me, it’s not really work. It’s my passion in life and what drives me.”

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The authenticity of anonymity, the absurdity of fame

It starts with that moon. That haunting, mystical full moon that rises over erev Passover, the brightest of the year. The same moon that accompanied our ancestors as they committed the most courageous, terrifying, faithful act of our history. This was their light. It is our light.

I look at that moon and I feel a sense of fear and awe — a memory encoded in my DNA — and I wonder: What did it feel like, that night, to flee the only place you’ve ever known, to run for your life? I imagine unimaginable terror — no GPS, no knowledge of where you’re going or how you will survive once you get there.

I look at that moon and wonder: Who were my ancestors who had the courage to leave? It’s a stunning fact: I share blood with this person from so many hundreds of years ago, so many generations ago. How old was he or she? What did he or she look like? Questions about this hero flood my mind, starting with the most basic one: What was his or her name?

On erev Shavuot, 50 days later, while immersed in the study of Torah as a remembrance of when the Jewish people received our holiest of holy instructions, I imagine my ancestors, of whom I know no details, standing at the foot of Mount Sinai and hearing the voice of God, experiencing the most profound revelation in the existence of mankind.

The energy of this night makes it real for me, the story we tell about our Exodus from bondage to freedom, our days of wandering, wondering, remembering and receiving the Torah.

And it’s this relative of mine who I can’t stop thinking about.  As I imagine Jews all over the world celebrating Shavuot, I’m deeply moved that each one of us has ancestors whose acts of courage and faith contributed to the making of the Jewish people, and because of them, we are Jews today.  

But mostly I am struck by the collective anonymity of those who created the Jewish people. 

As a life coach in the entertainment industry, I am keenly aware of the belief that anonymity in Hollywood is a fate worse than death. People today, and not just entertainers, desperately want to be famous. As the fame and celebrity culture has mushroomed and as the media continues to feed us the belief that, to really count in this world, you have to be famous, it’s no wonder studies show that teenagers don’t want to be doctors, lawyers or the president as in years past. Today, they want to be famous. Not for anything in particular, not for any accomplishment, simply famous.

When actors tell me how much they want to win an Academy Award, or musicians tell me how much they want to win a Grammy, as we dissect their desires, it always comes down to this: They want to matter. They want to make a difference in the world. Entertainers are not alone in thinking that public acknowledgment, awards and celebrity status will prove they count. This seems to be our new cultural “is.”

As Americans immersed in popular culture, we can name thousands of actors, musicians, scientists, engineers, politicians, activists and so on who have “made a difference” based on this faulty definition of success.

But as Jews, Shavuot offers us a moment to re-valuate: There’s no Nobel Prize, no CNN heroes profile, no 9/11-esque memorial recounting the name of every person who braved breaking free from Pharaoh’s wrath, whose every step from that night until entering the land of Israel was full of faith and courage. Shavuot allows us a night to take pause: Who has really made more of a difference in our lives than the anonymous thousands who fled Egypt and created the Jewish people? And how can we apply that understanding to our own lives?

Here’s how, in four parts. 

Part 1: Fame, celebrity, awards (even if the award show is broadcast around the world) or public acknowledgment have no impact on how your words or deeds will impact anyone today, next week or generations from now. Mitzvot — acts of good deeds — are unquantifiable, their true hidden value unknowable. Awards and public glorification are nonsense. Know this, and listen to the sound of your soul. What’s speaking to you is your divine mission. Follow it — that’s what matters.

Part 2: We all count. We all matter. The Jewish belief of tikkun olam teaches us we all have a part to play in healing the world. There’s no competition. Choose to see beauty and value in each person and you will be released from the need to be elevated above others and recognized publicly.

Part 3: Ask yourself, “Where in my life do I want to take one step forward, but fear and uncertainty are holding me back?  I want to remind you of this: If you’re Jewish and alive today, you share blood with people of immeasurable courage. If your ancestor can tie a sheep (the idols of the Egyptians) to his bedpost for three days, slaughter it with his bare hands and smear its blood over his door post, I promise you, you can take one step in the comforts of 2015 toward doing anything.

Part 4: Love more, love deeper, and be kind at every opportunity. The effects of love and kindness are what last forever.

May the energy of Shavuot, and the anonymity of our ancestors, inspire you to reconnect with your truest selves and live lives of true freedom.


Sherri Ziff is an entertainment industry-focused life coach, speaker, TV writer and author of the upcoming “Hollywood Epidemic: Fame, Celebrity & Other Illusions. How to Live a Life That Really Matters.”  She can be reached at sherri@rockyourlifecoaching.com.

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Swiss court orders Israel to pay Iran $1.1 billion

A Swiss court has ordered Israel to pay $1.1 billion to Iran over a shah-era oil debt.

The debt harkens back to a 1968 agreement in which the government-controlled National Iranian Oil Company shipped oil through Israeli ports and sold crude oil to Israel. Under the agreement, Israel was allowed three months after delivery of the oil to pay its bills, according to the The Jerusalem Post.

After the Islamic Revolution in 1979, when the new rulers in Tehran ended the oil shipments, Israel failed to pay for its final oil deliveries, amounting to $450 million, according to the International Business Times. Israel also nationalized joint Iranian-Israeli oil interests, the Iranians alleged.

Iran filed a lawsuit over the debt in the early 1990s, and commercial arbitration courts in Switzerland and France dealt with the issue. Israel, represented by Israeli lawyers, argued that Iran was responsible for breaking its agreements, according to the Post.

A few years ago, three Israeli gas companies lost one of the arbitration cases and were ordered to pay about $100 million, and Israel was ordered to cover the legal expenses. Israel paid, the Post reported.

On Wednesday, Israeli Finance Ministry officials suggested that they would not comply with the ruling by the Swiss Court of Arbitration issued this month.

“Without referring to the matter at hand, we’ll note that according to the Trading with the Enemy Act it is forbidden to transfer money to the enemy, including the Iranian national oil company,” the Finance Ministry said, according to the Business Times.

Israel and Iran once had strong economic and strategic ties, including common enemies in the Sunni Arab regimes of the Middle East. Diplomatic ties were severed after 1979, and today Israeli regional interests are aligned with those of Sunni powers like Egypt and Saudi Arabia against Tehran’s Shiite regime.

Iran also has become a major funder and arms supplier for anti-Israel terrorism, including to Hamas in Gaza and Hezbollah in Lebanon. Additionally, Iran has been implicated in targeting Israel and Jews overseas, as in the 1994 bombing of the AMIA Jewish center in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

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The Holocaust film that is upending the genre – and other Jewish notes from Cannes

Given the long and storied history of the Holocaust film genre, it’s unusual for a new movie on the subject to be lauded as innovative.

But the new film “Son of Saul,” the first by Hungarian director Laszlo Nemes, is being called just that. It’s also become the most widely talked about film of the prestigious Cannes Film Festival.

“Son of Saul” stars 48-year-old and first-time actor Géza Röhrig as a member of the Sonderkommando, or the Jewish prisoners who were forced to help the Nazis run their concentration camps. The film is shot in a gritty, cinema verité style that makes the viewer feel like he or she is right there, in the middle of the death camps.

Vulture called it “a Holocaust film like none you’ve ever seen before.” The Los Angeles Times said that the film “turn[s] the form on its head.” The Guardian wrote: “It’s so frank and unflinching, it makes even the finest of previous Holocaust films look crass.”

This is historic praise for a rookie filmmaker, and it could land the film the Camera d’Or prize for best first film or even the Palme d’Or for best film. Perhaps the fact that the Jewish Coen brothers are the presidents of the festival’s prize jury will help the film’s chances.

There is no official release date yet, but Sony Pictures Classics bought the film’s U.S. distribution rights, so it will be coming to the States at some point.

“Son of Saul” aside, Cannes 2015 has to be one of the most Jewish editions of the festival in recent memory. Other films of Jewish interest there include Natalie Portman’s adaptation of Israeli novelist Amos Oz’s memoir “A Tale of Love and Darkness”; Woody Allen’s latest production, “Irrational Man,” starring Joaquin Phoenix and Emma Stone; “Amy,” the documentary on the late Jewish singer Amy Winehouse, which has impressed critics but angered her family; and the Israeli entry “Afterthought.” In addition, the film “Degradé,” notably directed by twins Tarzan and Arab Nasser from Gaza, involves the plight of several women in a Gaza beauty salon who display more anger toward what they call the “thugs” of Hamas than they do for Israel.

All in all, the Coen brothers certainly have a lot of Jewish-interest options to choose from.

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Obituaries: Week of May 22–28

David Allan Ball died April 29 at 74. Survived by wife Marlene; daughters Donna (William) Martensen, Denise Razavi; stepson Kevin (Maria) Berensohn; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren; brother Joseph (Cathy). Mount Sinai

Bernice Bergman died May 4 at 93. Survived by son Sandy (Jill); brother Alan Wolf. Mount Sinai

Irwin Burman died May 7 at 92. Survived by wife Lea; sons Steven (Barbara), Barry (Marifer); daughter Marilyn (Anastasia); 4 grandchildren. Groman Eden

Eleanor Butnik died May 3 at 91. Survived by sons Michael (Joanne), Richard (Christine), Robert; daughters Estee Huff, Donna Schindler; 7 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Mount Sinai

Joyce Cramer died April 28 at 85. Survived by husband Isaac; son Kenneth (Tessa); 3 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Mount Sinai

Leonard Raymond Dubin died May 2 at 77. Survived by wife Loretta; daughters Alyssa, Lindsey (Jeff) Goldbloom. Mount Sinai

John Hans Eisinger died May 6 at 83. Survived by wife Carole; son Stephen (Sherri); 2 grandchildren; 1 cousin. Groman Eden

Dorothy Engel died May 3 at 91. Survived by son Doug (Diane); daughter Desley (Steven) Rapaport; 3 grandchildren; 2 great-grandchildren. Groman Eden

Betty R. Feuerstein died May 2 at 93. Survived by daughter Gail; son Irwin (Eve); 2 granddaughters. Mount Sinai

Herbert R. Friedman died May 4 at 88. Survived by wife Eugenia; brother-in-law Paul Wilder; brother Boris (Claire). Mount Sinai

Sylvia Rose Gastwirth died April 25 at 88. Survived by sons Martin (Stacey) Cohan, Jack Cohan (Rita Torchinsky); daughters Nanette (Jeff) Sigel, Sue (Steve) Speck; 12 grandchildren; 1 great-granddaughter. Groman Eden

Bonni Greenberg died May 5 at 70. Survived by husband Robert; daughters Ellen (Mark) Hurwitz, Robin; 2 grandsons. Groman Eden

Gertrude Grynbaum died May 1 at 96. Survived by son James (Kay); 1 grandson. Mount Sinai

Harold Hatkoff died April 28 at 91. Survived by wife Sandra; sons Bruce (Terry), Brian (Cheryl); 5 grandchildren. Groman Eden

Norman Herman died May 4 at 91. Survived by wife Anita; daughter Adrianne (Todd Doty) Herman Doty; son Philip; 1 grandson. Mount Sinai

Shoshana Katz died May 6 at 91. Survived by husband Benno; son Steven S. (Ne’); 1 grandson. Mount Sinai

Carole Klein died May 4 at 81. Survived by son Andrew; 1 grandson; sister Sylvia Schwartz. Mount Sinai

Rachel Koransky died May 3 at 102. Survived by daughter Lillian (Don) Salis; son Jerry Tirsch; 5 grandchildren; 10 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Bertram Kravitz died April 28 at 86. Survived by wife Leola; daughter Candace (Jane Hitchen); sister Katherine Jones. Groman Eden

Irma Krom died April 19 at 97. Survived by daughter Joyce (Hal) Taback; son Larry (Angie); 3 grandsons; sister Dorothy Marks. Mount Sinai

Flora Lazar died April 30 at 100. Survived by son Leslie (Julie) Apody; 2 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Armond Lebowitz died April 30 at 88. Survived by wife Rozanna; sons David (Jennifer), Brad; 2 grandchildren; brother Gary; sisters Anita, Selma. Mount Sinai

Eunice S. Marder died April 29 at 84. Survived by daughter Francine Holly (Joe) Shure; son Craig (Lisa); 3 grandsons; 3 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Simon Merfogel died April 29 at 93. Survived by daughter Maria (Eugene) Karpus; 2 granddaughters. Mount Sinai

Mark Myers died May 2 at 71. Survived by wife Myrna. Mount Sinai

Harry Nedlan died May 3 at 95. Survived by wife Rose; daughter Lisa (Bill); son Paul; 4 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Murray Neufeld died May 5 at 84. Survived by stepsons Todd Ellis, Mathieu Ellis; 1 grandchild. Mount Sinai

Lisa Oliver died May 2 at 42. Survived by husband Jason; son Max; daughters Lily, Kayla; father Tom; mother Mary. Mount Sinai

Mansour Parsi died May 1 at 89. Survived by wife Nahid; sons Sam (Shirih), Shahab, Shahin, Alex; 4 grandchildren; sister Mahim Adelipour. Mount Sinai

Stephanie Paula Pascal died April 28 at 47. Survived by father Stan; brother Adam. Groman Eden

Philip Perlman died April 29 at 95. Survived by wife Adele; daughters Rhea (Danny DeVito), Heide (Tim Martin); 4 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Pearl Pinchak died May 1 at 97. Survived by sons Robert (Sherry), Michael (Rhoda); 5 grandchildren. Mount Sinai 

Ghodsieh Ravanshenas died May 5 at 90. Survived by sons Bahram (Lila) Ravan, Shahrm (Soheila) Ravan, Sharyar (Madeleine); daughters Jila (Parviz) Behfarin, Ginoos (Solomon) Aryeh; 13 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren; sisters Etty Barcohana, Mehry (Marvin) Smotrich. Mount Sinai

Larry Robbins died May 3 at 84. Survived by daughter Shari; son Mark (Joann); brother Michael Juceam; 3 grandchildren; 4 great-grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Ilse Rogers died April 30 at 93. Mount Sinai

Sylvia Sanders died April 28 at 80. Survived by sons Morgan, Corey, Garth (Cindy), Craig (Anna); 3 grandchildren; brothers Ira Bettelman, Sandy (Andrea) Bettelman. Groman Eden

Stanley E. Schuller died April 30 at 90. Survived by wife Ruth; son Edward; daughter Sandra (Richard) Smith; 5 grandchildren. Mount Sinai

Liza Spektor died April 22 at 93. Survived by son Eduard Galperin; daughter Alexandra Galperin; 2 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild; brother Kalman Galperin; sister Bella Bigun. Chevra Kadisha

Mildred Weinstein died April 28 at 94. Survived by son Robert (Barbara); daughter Melody (Mark); 5 grandchildren; 1 great-grandchild. Groman Eden

Obituaries: Week of May 22–28 Read More »

Letters to the Editor: Israeli-Americans, Hussein Aboubakr Mansour and Pamela Geller

How Jewish Are They?

There is one question not addressed in the article (“The Israeli-Americans: Who They Are, What They Want, Where They’re Headed, Why They Matter, May 15): How Jewish are they? I didn’t read anything (perhaps I read too fast) about celebrating Jewish holidays, about studying Jewish sources. Without that anchor, their kids will intermarry and they will be lost.

Chaiya Eitan via jewishjournal.com

Concerning an Arab Perspective

The Jewish Journal is to be congratulated for printing “That the World May Not End” (May 8) by Hussein Aboubakr Mansour, concerning “radical” Islam’s attack on the world. Alas, this 25-year-old Egyptian understands the issues far better than Presidents Bush and Obama, Secretaries of State Clinton and Kerry, and the editor-in-chief of the Journal — whose main concern is the “hateful,” “Islamophobic” and thoroughly evil Pamela Geller, and not those who would joyfully have slaughtered her and anyone else who dared to attend the Muhammad cartoon event.

Chaim Sisman, Los Angeles

 

Hussein Aboubakr Mansour was thought provoking in his May 8 article on radical Islam.

To paraphrase him, free speech should not apply to religious intolerance. In modern society, free speech does not work when the speech generates violence against those who do not adhere to your beliefs or incites your adherents to commit crimes against humanity.

He goes on to say, therefore, shouldn’t we criminalize radical Islam? He continues: As a modern society we are mature enough to decide which ideas are not worthy of protection. We should be able to choose which ideas should be eliminated. We should agree to deprive people of the right to be religious maniacs. We should prohibit what we know to be evil moral views. Saudi-sponsored Shariah schools should be outlawed. Outlaw the teaching of hate and intolerance.

I thought our laws already covered hate speech and speech that incites violence? Why don’t we enforce those laws against religious groups?

David Rothman, Encino

The Elder Statesman-Thinker

Rob Eshman’s interview with Amos Oz is a breath of fresh air in a polluted atmosphere (“Love and Criticism: An Amos Oz Interview,” May 15). Oz is a creative, original thinker whose point of view should be heard, and perhaps even contribute to, the necessary peace between Israel and the Palestinians.

Rick Edelstein, Los Angeles

Disrespecting Those With Special Needs

Because I am very active in the L.A. Orthodox community and have two adopted sons with autism, I am particularly outraged (“Tough Love for Israel: Outrage in Rehovot,” May 15). Both of my sons had a bar mitzvah in Orthodox shuls, and both were treated with unquestionable respect by our community. Shame, shame, shame on those so enslaved by self-righteousness that they are blind to the love of Judaism by others.

Geborah Goldberger via jewishjournal.com

 

I attended another one of the Masorti  movement’s bar/bat mitzvah celebrations for children with special needs (this one in Jerusalem), the same day the one in Rehovot was supposed to take place. It was a beautiful, emotional, inspiring event for everyone involved — the kids, their families, teachers and friends. How ironic that Arab teachers attended the event, which took place at Jerusalem’s Kehilat Moreshet Avraham, a Conservative synagogue, but some fellow Jews would not.

Sheryl Abbey via jewishjournal.com

Attacking an Anti-Muslim Polemicist

Rob Eshman is no Pamela Geller. She held a Muhammad cartoon contest in a private venue, perfectly legal.

Muslim terrorists were offended and tried to murder her and all the people present. They did not respect our freedom of speech.

When Nazis marched with anti-Semitic cartoons and posters in Skokie, Ill., the Holocaust survivors there and Jews everywhere were offended. They did not go with machine guns to murder the Nazi sympathizers and marchers. The Holocaust survivors respected freedom of speech.

Appeasing Islamist radicals is not possible. They look on our attempts to “understand and not provoke” as weakness. We than embolden them to increase such acts. Please read the main article in that issue by Hussein Mansour, a Muslim. He knows it will take generations for them to change, if possible. We must not change our democratic freedoms to try to placate them.

Selma Alpert via email

Letters to the Editor: Israeli-Americans, Hussein Aboubakr Mansour and Pamela Geller Read More »

Calendar May 23–29

SAT | MAY 23

NEIL DIAMOND

Sweet Caroline, we’re in for a treat! An inductee of the Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, an honoree at the Kennedy Center and a Grammy winner, Neil Diamond has been warming our hearts for decades. You know you love “Song Sung Blue,” “Desiree” and “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers,” to name a few, so grab your ticket and let the good times feel so good. 8 p.m. $45-$350. Hollywood Bowl, 2301 N. Highland Ave., Los Angeles. (323) 850-2000. WED | MAY 27

“SITTING IN BARS WITH CAKE: LESSONS AND RECIPES FROM ONE YEAR OF TRYING TO BAKE MY WAY TO A BOYFRIEND”

Audrey Shulman knows a little something about the pursuit of love in Los Angeles. So, like any good Jew, she turned to food. In her new book, Shulman recounts a year of baking, bar-hopping and offering slices of cake to men in hopes of finding her beshert — or just a date. Her personal frustrations, though, led to a charming book of inventive recipes inspired by her bar interactions. From Sticky Maple Kiss Cake to Bitter Chocolate Dump Cake, there’s a treat for every occasion. 7 p.m. Free. Book Soup, 8818 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood. (310) 659-3110. ” target=”_blank”>cjs.ucla.edu.

FIRST 36 PROJECT LAUNCH EVENT

Because we all know that Jewish learning begins at birth, if not before, it’s time cutting-edge research is setting out to reinforce early our next generation’s connection to the faith. Parent-and-me educators at six local Jewish institutions will get lots of support from a yearlong fellowship, The First 36 Project, a new initiative supported by The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles, the Builders of Jewish Education and the Simms/Mann Institute. Early childhood professionals and community members are invited to the project’s launch. 12:45 p.m., The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles, 6505 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. L.Silverstein@SimmsMannInstitute.org.

“LOVE FROM AFAR: A MULTIMEDIA CONCERT”

Sometimes we don’t have to pick just one form of media. Tonight’s concert features live music by two contemporary composers — Osvaldo Golijov and Kaija Saariaho — as well as video graphic design by Yuki Izumihara. Golijov, who was born in Argentina but eventually moved to Israel, where he studied under Mark Kopytman at the Jerusalem Music Academy, has two Grammys and is the recipient of Guggenheim and MacArthur fellowships. The program features a folk-song cycle for soprano, electronics and chamber ensemble, with the help of soprano Terri Richter and the UCLA Philharmonia. 7:30 p.m. Free, but a ticket is required; first-come, first-served. Hammer Museum, 10899 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 443-7000.  THUR | MAY 28

NIYAZ FEATURING AZAM ALI

Led by vocalist Azam Ali and multi-instrumentalist Loga Ramin Torkian, this band combines medieval Sufi poetry and folk songs from its native Iran with rich acoustic instrumentation and modern electronic rhythms. The result explores themes such as the plights of the immigrant, and ethnic and religious minorities. 8 p.m. $25-$35. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. (310) 440-4500. ” target=”_blank”>staplescenter.com.

Calendar May 23–29 Read More »

The trauma of privilege

I have been in the center of the swirl of awareness about the unintended consequences of affluence and privilege on our children. I meet these youngsters and their families when crisis penetrates the denial system and they arrive at Beit T’Shuvah, the recovery community I founded 30 years ago. I have listened to their baffled, bewildered parents who “gave them everything” only to have it thrown in their faces. I coined the family dynamic: “I hate you; send money.” At Beit T’Shuvah, we have been essentially “re-parenting” these children of all ages, allowing them to experience “all the disadvantages of success,” in the words of Larry Ellison.

A recent study by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences finds a direct correlation between parents who overvalue their children and children who are narcissistic. Researchers found that while parental warmth was associated with high self-esteem in kids, that parental over-evaluation was not. Or as Madeline Levine put it: “Praise is not warmth pumped in; self-esteem is not self-efficacy.” I have heard from many recovering addicts that when they feel undeserving, praise exacerbates their self-loathing and sense of fraudulence.

I have read most of the developing literature on the effects of over-parenting, helicoptering, indulging our offspring, resulting in entitled, depressed, addicted and, most recently, narcissistic kids. Their despair manifests in a wide range of self-destructive behaviors: drugs; alcohol; food (stuffing or starving); self-mutilation (cutting, piercing); Internet addictions to gaming, chatting and pornography. The more passive expressions of hopelessness and lack of purpose are the “failures to launch” — those who never leave or return to the “nest,” sleeping away the days, refusing to grow up.

These are not just symptoms of narcissism. After more than 30 years of observation, I argue that these children have been traumatized. They suffer from what I call “the trauma of privilege.”

The benefit of viewing this condition through the trauma lens rather than the personality disorder lens is that the latter is static, the former infinitely reparable. The label narcissistic personality brands you for life; trauma views adaptive behavior as a learned way of being that can be unlearned. The wounded, fractured self can be repaired in a community that offers emotional, physical and spiritual healing through exposure to multiple emotionally corrective experiences for privileged families trapped in the cycle of Either/Or-ness, fear of inadequacy and the never-ending pursuit of perfection.

Seen through the trauma lens, these narcissistic characteristics are the result of primary attachment disorder and parental mis-attunement. The parents need to produce a “perfect” child, wherein the child’s successes are a reflection of the parents’ worth. This creates in the child a sense of being a commodity — “valuable but not valued.” They alternate between grandiosity and self-loathing or depression, unable to integrate self and self image. They live in a paradigm of Either/Or: I am either No. 1 or a total loser. Their “self” is fragmented, divided, at war. They keep asking themselves the wrong question: Which is the real me?

Healing the fractured self begins with the answer: “They are both the real me.” This leap from Either/Or to Both/And begins to repair the trauma of Either/Or parenting. Through this lens, parents over-value and/or overpraise their children because they, too, are fractured. Their fears, anxieties and insecurities about themselves render them incapable of reflecting wholeness back to their child. Parents who have zero tolerance for their child’s imperfections; who can’t tolerate their child’s sadness, rage, fears, unhappiness; who can’t be present and nonjudgmental with their child’s inconsistent and contradictory states of being; who can mirror only the praiseworthy aspects of the child, create narcissism — the quintessential split. 

This is why we treat this condition as a trauma, which can be repaired. We teach them how to fail forward, to accept their defects and imperfections, to live within limits, accept the discomfort of not getting what they want, to tolerate rejection and disappointment, and to take the right action no matter what they feel. We help them to “recover their passion and discover their purpose.”

Their challenge is learning how to integrate their opposing and contradictory selves, a necessary prelude to the development of integrity. After a considerable amount of time and attention, many of them come to life. They launch. These traumatized young men and women begin to take responsibility for their successes and failures. Their parents learn how to say no and stop defining themselves by their children’s successes or failures.

It is not only children of privilege who are failing, it is their parents. Those fighting so hard to keep them from harm are causing the most damage. Parenting needs a wake-up call, and children must be allowed to fail before they forget how to value true success and become victims of the trauma of privilege. 


Harriet Rossetto is the founder and executive vice president of Beit T’Shuvah, a residential treatment center and educational institution in West Los Angeles. On May 20, she spoke at the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy to discuss Beit T’Shuvah’s innovative approach to recovery treatment.

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A message to centrist American Jews: Time to speak out

We’ve just celebrated Israel’s 67th Independence Day —– a remarkable achievement that makes us proud. But more and more American Jews worry that the sharpening divisions in our community are hampering our efforts to help Israel achieve long-term security and peace.

And Bloomberg’s poll released just before Independence Day heightened our alarm. Its central finding was, “Israel has become a deeply partisan issue for ordinary Americans as well as for politicians in Washington.”

America’s Jewish community has created numerous organizations that enabled us to successfully engage in pro-Israel advocacy across the political spectrum. AIPAC (the American Israel Public Affairs Committee), for example, long has served as the vehicle for working closely with Israeli governments to generate American support for a strong U.S.-Israel relationship. Its impact on discourse in Washington is unquestionable.  

With frustration growing in the last decade or so over the lack of progress toward resolution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, some American Jews believed that a new alternative voice willing to criticize Israeli policies was needed. The result: J Street, which has provided advocacy on Israel-related issues from the left, though centrists feel its voice has been unnecessarily provocative at times.

Although both organizations play important roles, a significant segment of our community, in the political center, does not feel represented by either group. We centrists support the goal of two states for two peoples, and we believe that Palestinians and Israelis have not done enough to advance that objective. But we fear that the two-state solution risks becoming viewed as a cause for liberals only, even though it is a core interest of Israel and the United States. We worry that the U.S.-Israel relationship itself is becoming a partisan issue, which the Bloomberg poll just confirmed.

Our concerns are not about being pro-Benjamin Netanyahu or pro-Barack Obama. We yearn for a realistic approach that will enable Israel to remain a secure, Jewish and democratic state. And we want honesty.

Honesty means telling the Israeli government that achieving peace with the Palestinians must be an active enterprise, not a goal grudgingly endorsed. This involves leaving most of the West Bank. That step carries risks, so Israel will need stringent security safeguards. Exiting also will be painful, as there are many sites there associated with our religious and historical narrative. But it must be done. A single state between the Jordan River and Mediterranean Sea is a prescription for disaster.

Regrettably, honesty also means acknowledging the reality that a conflict-ending agreement with the Palestinians is currently beyond reach. Nevertheless, Israeli policies should be geared toward preserving the two-state solution for the future — not endangering it by continuing to build beyond the settlement blocs and in politically sensitive areas of Jerusalem, for example. In addition, rather than weaken the Palestinian Authority by withholding tax revenues, Israel should strengthen security cooperation and bolster joint economic development.

Honesty entails telling Palestinian leadership that their aspiration for an independent state will not be fulfilled via international pressures on Israel but through negotiations. They need to oppose violence and incitement, and move toward a single, empowered government controlling the West Bank and Gaza, committed to living alongside Israel in peace.

Honesty demands opposing those advocates in the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) movement who claim to act on behalf of the Palestinian cause but in reality are more intent on delegitimizing Israel. Their destructive efforts should be replaced by positive programs for Palestinians and Israelis that enhance the peacemaking environment. 

Regarding the Saudi-led Arab Peace Initiative of 2002, honesty means telling Arab leaders that, while this is an important step, they need to persuade Israelis that peace with Palestinians can lead to a regional rapprochement. And it means telling Israel’s leaders that it is in Israel’s interest to respond positively to this initiative. Then the U.S. should facilitate discussions between Israel and Arab states leading to normalization and regional security arrangements that could stimulate movement toward Israeli-Palestinian peace and the formation of a coalition to confront extremist violence in the region.  

Finally, honesty requires reminding President Obama that there can be no timeout in the pursuit of peace, and that an active American role is essential in this quest. Israel is a strong country with an army capable of defending its borders no matter where they are drawn as part of a final peace agreement with the Palestinians. But we should be sensitive to the Israelis who see the region exploding, extremist groups operating near their borders and Iran posing a potential existential threat. Regardless of whether a final agreement on Iran’s nuclear program is reached, the U.S. should find concrete ways to reassure Israel and our other regional allies of America’s unshakable commitment to their security.

Jewish tradition teaches, “Seek peace and pursue it.” It is time, long overdue, for the American-Jewish political center to wake up and make sure its views — such as the ones expressed above — are heard loud and clear in the U.S. and Israel.


E. Robert Goodkind is past national president of the American Jewish Committee and member of the executive committee of Israel Policy Forum (IPF), founded in 1993, which advocates for a lasting, negotiated two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Martin J. Raffel is past senior vice president of the Jewish Council for Public Affairs and adviser to IPF.

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