There has been a lot of recent discussion about the need for Jewish self-defense. Several books and op-eds have been published advocating for American Jews to start waking up and taking this issue a lot more seriously. The contributions to this new literature come as violent antisemitic attacks continue to mount every week. Some of these include Hesh Kestin’s “The Wrong Jew: Defeating Those Who Want Us Dead,” Benjamin Kerstein’s “Self-Defense: A Jewish Manifesto,” and my own, “The Armed Jew: The Case for Jewish Gun Ownership.” All of these were published recently by Wicked Son. There have also been several op-eds in major Jewish publications, such as David Bernstein’s piece titled, “Jews and Guns: Time for a Reckoning?,” published here in The Journal on Aug. 25.

In “Self-Defense: A Jewish Manifesto,” Kerstein writes, “American Jewish life is highly organized, with an alphabet soup of groups involved in every aspect of life, including fighting antisemitism. There are combative organizations dedicated to different aspects of the battle, from lawsuits to billboards. But there is currently no organized, nationwide movement dedicated to the cause that is at the true heart of the matter: self-defense.” (pp. 9-10)

Kerstein’s book is important and timely and I highly recommend it. However, I need to correct the false assumption being made in that excerpt. There are indeed Jewish organizations for self-defense. Some of them are private regional and even national shooting clubs and training academies that are dedicated to preparing Jews for firearms proficiency. Others are armed security and intelligence sharing networks that work across Jewish communities that interface with federal law enforcement agencies. 

It is vitally important that we not forget that these organized resources exist. They are the necessary starting points from which we can build a greater and more efficient national movement even beyond what is already in place.

On the West Coast, there is an organization called Magen Am (“Shield of the People), led by Rabbi Yossi Eilfort. Its website describes its mission by saying, “We train and empower secure Jewish communities, so they may live and practice in peace.” In the Pennsylvania Catskills is Yonatan Stern’s Cherev Gidon Israeli Tactical Training Academy. There are also organizations called “Glocks and Barrels,” “Guns and Moses,” “Jews Can Shoot,” and now “Lox and Loaded,” which has many chapters in cities across the United States and rapidly expanding into more locations.  

In Northeast Ohio, where I live, there is a new 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization of which I am on the Board of Directors, called the High Value Training Academy (HVTA). It’s led by a very eager and enthusiastic Jewish NRA-certified instructor named Jeffrey Goldstein, whose personal story and passion for teaching Jews to shoot I tell in my book, “The Armed Jew.” If you live in the Cleveland, Akron or Youngstown areas, HVTA raises money to offer discounted full day courses and no-cost small group lessons at nearby gun ranges.

As for organizations that work with the government, the Secure Communities Network (SCN) has been in place since 2004. Having come a long way since its inception, SCN has greatly improved its intelligence gathering processes under the directorship of Michael Masters, whom the Jewish Telegraph Agency has dubbed the Jewish community’s “anti-terrorism czar.”  There is also the Community Security Service (CSS) headed by Richard Priem. Without revealing too much of what I know about SCN’s and CSS’ specific achievements, I can only say that this nexus of Jewish communities and law enforcement agencies across the country has indeed thwarted many violent assaults on synagogues, JCCs and day schools before they happened.

I also want to commend David Bernstein for writing a very important piece to encourage more progressive Jews to start engaging in a new conversation about gun ownership. My only disagreement with him, however, is that we should not be supporting a national gun registry or red flag laws. The former would not be good for Jews, as gun registries have historically led to gun confiscations by oppressive governments. The latter policy, reg flag laws, wrongly deny people their Second Amendment right to bear arms without due process. Moreover, his claim that “guns kept in the home are 43 times more likely to kill a family member than an assailant” is a debunked statistic that exacerbates the already deep problem of hoplophobia (fear of guns) among Jews.

Those of us committed to promoting Jewish self-defense must continue writing and speaking out. But more than engaging in this conversation, Jewish communities need to start acting. In the last chapter of my book “The Armed Jew,” I provide many suggestions as to how our communities that are not doing so already could start putting self-protection with firearms into coordinated effect.

The Jewish Diaspora does indeed have organized apparatuses to build upon. If we are going to promote our self-defense, we must recognize what is currently available to us already as the foundation of a much more efficient movement. 

Adam L. Fuller, PhD is Clayman Professor of Jewish Studies and Associate Professor of Political Science at Youngstown State University. 

When lifelong friends Aaron Karo and Matt Ritter launched their podcast “Man of the Year” in November 2022, it began as a series of comic discussions about male friendship. 

Now, with the release of their Audible Original audiobook “The Buddy System: A Modern Man’s Guide to Mastering Friendship and Leveling Up Your Life,” Karo and Ritter have distilled three years of podcasting into a single, five-hour listen that feels both structured and spontaneous.

Karo sounds like he’s a natural at making friends. Ritter sounds like everybody’s top pick for “kindest dude I know.” Listening to “The Buddy System” feels like sitting across from two friends who can finish each other’s sentences but approach life from opposite ends of the dive bar. What separates Karo and Ritter from other hosts (and now co-writers) is their mindful reflections and respect for the pitfalls of friendship — without cutting back on the sprinkles of boorish buddy behavior.

Karo is the methodical one. He’s obsessed with structure, his email inbox at zero, can vibe with anyone— yet still keeps a spreadsheet of people in his life. He’s been publishing humor and cultural commentary since his college days at Penn, when his “Ruminations” email list went viral. He has since written seven books, including “Ruminations on College Life.” 

Ritter, a lawyer-turned-comedian and TV writer, is a husband and father whose overflowing inbox drives Karo crazy. It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that this combination of authors would lead to worthless friendship advice like “just be yourself” and “you know, just shoot the s—.”  

The origins of their book come from the inspiration for their podcast. “Man of the Year” derives from an annual tradition amongst their buddies. 

“Every year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we gather at a steakhouse in Brooklyn and vote on which friend had the best year,” Karo told The Journal. “That tradition kept our crew going strong for 35 years.” That Thanksgiving week ritual, the annual “Man of the Year” dinner, is only part of their podcast story.  After two decades of social media and post-pandemic isolation, adult connection has atrophied. Their podcast — and now their book — offer ways to rebuild that muscle.

“Men are in crisis,” Karo said. “There’s a friendship recession, and who better to help than two guys who consider themselves the champions of friendship?”

Over the past three years, Karo and Ritter have touted “Man of the Year” as the “number one friendship podcast in America.” With episodes like “How’s Your Mental Health?” and “Friendship Dry Spells,” their audience was far beyond just dudes. Women tuned in too for a litany of reasons, with many writing to the hosts that they did so to understand how men talk when they actually open up.

The podcast had a special guest for its 100th episode in October 2024: then-U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy. He spoke about how friendship strengthens immunity, reduces anxiety, and even extends lifespan. Murthy deputized both of them as “Chief Friendship Officers of the United States.” 

“You go to a trainer for your body, a therapist for your mental health,” Ritter told the Journal. “We’re talking about social fitness…you have to be intentional about it.”

Part of what makes “The Buddy System” work is what it avoids. There’s no jargon about optimization, biohacking, no “modules,” no motivational hard sell. “The Buddy System” is one of the rare podcast-to-book spinoffs that delivers even more value. 

“Everyone talks about making friends or keeping friends,” Ritter said. “But articulating how adults can deepen friendships, that middle space, was tricky … You can’t just say, ‘Hey, I’d like to take our friendship to the next level.’ We wanted to show what that looks like — more honesty, more consistency, more intentional time — without making it sound like a self-help cliché.”

Part Two of the book, “Leveling Up,” they admit, was one of the hardest to write. Translating subtle emotional shifts into something actionable took work. Yet it’s those moments — the “LUMOs,” or Level-Up Moments — that have given the book such value to anyone looking to tweak how they maintain meaningful friendships. 

When they first began dividing up the manuscript, Karo took the lead on chapters that required data, psychology, and structure. Ritter gravitated toward the sections on grief, fatherhood, and vulnerability. 

“Certain sections, like ‘Dad Friends’ or the parts about grief, were definitely more Matt’s wheelhouse,” Karo said. “It ended up being a perfect meld of our very different personalities.”

Underneath the humor, The Buddy System acknowledges what’s at risk when friendship fades. 

“I know it sounds a little trite, it’s easy to be there when things are going well,” Karo said. “It’s really you being there for your friends when things aren’t going well and that’s the kind of thing that you remember. And those are the tougher, that’s tougher friending. It’s easy friending when things are going great. It’s tougher for when they’re not.

That theme carries through the podcast too, particularly in episodes like “Friendship First Responders,” where Ritter tells the story of his wife going into labor and instinctively calling Karo. That episode influenced chapters such as “The Hard Times” and “Friendships Worth Saving.” In both formats, that’s the heartbeat of their work: showing up, following through and refusing to let silence or busyness dissolve connection.

The timing of “The Buddy System” couldn’t be better — or more sobering. According to the American Survey Center, 15% of men report having zero close friends, nearly five times higher than in the 1990s. The U.S. Surgeon General has even labeled loneliness an “epidemic.” 

The book is comforting and motivating for adults of all ages — not just men in their 30s and 40s — for navigating social life. This book is useful for everyone to do an audit of how they approach friendships. The listeners who grew up with lousy parents or corrosive friends will find as much value in this book as the social director of any given friend group. 

Karo and Ritter both grew up with strong examples of friendship in their parents’ generation.

“My parents have incredible social fitness,” Karo said. “They have a lot of friends. They have rituals, which is one of our key tenets.”

Both Karo and Ritter are Jewish, and as a parent himself, Ritter sees belonging to a synagogue as part of his friendship health.

“We grew up in Plainview, New York in all-Jewish town, and so there were sort of varying levels of Jewish identity,” Ritter said. “I think we didn’t sort of even realize that the world wasn’t like towns filled with Jews. Then we moved to New York and you’re kind of surrounded by it. But I’ve actually recently started going to temple again, and we joined the temple because we wanted our child to have Jewish identity and we actually wanted to meet some parents. So we’re actually using the temple as our “third place” — something I never actually thought I would end up doing. And here I’m actually meeting other young parents through the temple.”

By the time the authors reach the “Tradition!” and “Trophy Life” chapters, their message feels earned: ritual and recognition — no matter how goofy — are what keep friendships alive. And of course, love. They end each of their podcast episodes with a sincere “I love you” to each other.

The friendship recession is real. So is the exhaustion that comes with adulthood, parenthood and constant connectivity. “The Buddy System” doesn’t promise to fix that. It offers something smaller and more radical: a reason to text someone, plan something and follow through.

“The Buddy System: A Modern Man’s Guide to Mastering Friendship and Leveling Up Your Life”  by Aaron Karo and Matt Ritter is available exclusively on Audible.