The bat mitzvah is a landmark rite of passage for Jewish teen girls. It is a time when they can prove their knowledge of Hebrew and Torah, impress their family and friends and, of course, have a huge party that they will remember and cherish for the rest of their lives.
After parodying (a little too accurately) Israelis in “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” and singing in Hebrew in the hilarious bar mitzvah scene in “The Wedding Singer,” Adam Sandler is back in a very Jewish role, starring alongside his family in “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” out on Netflix on August 25.
In the new movie, his daughter Sunny Sandler plays Stacy, a seventh grader who wants to have an amazing bat mitzvah, but everyone seems to be getting in the way – including her parents, played by Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel, as well as her sister in real life and the movie, Ronnie (Sadie Sandler). When her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) kisses Stacy’s crush, her entire world seems to come crashing down. “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” is a tale of teen angst and, ultimately, about what it means to forgive others and grow up.
The Jewish Journal caught up with Sammi Cohen, who directed the film, which is an adaptation of Fiona Rosenbloom’s book of the same name. Cohen previously directed comedy music videos and “Crush” (2022), a teen movie that appeared on Hulu.
“Learning about who you are in the world and who you want to be is a very Jewish experience.” – Sammi Cohen
The director was excited to get involved in “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” because they wanted “to tell a Jewish coming-of-age story that explores formative female friendships and self-discovery in a real, messy and authentic way. Learning about who you are in the world and who you want to be is a very Jewish experience. It’s also a universal experience. I’m excited for this community to feel seen and celebrated.”
When working with Adam Sandler, Cohen said they learned that success isn’t just about making money. It’s about making movies with people you love.
“That what this entire experience has been for me,” they said. “This cast was a dream come true. It was fun to see Adam and Idina together again on the big screen. I joke that this is the happy side of their on-screen marriage. They have such a natural familial chemistry that makes the film feel like this real slice-of-life. They made me nostalgic for my own childhood [and] my own parents.”
Cohen grew up in a Reform Jewish household in Woodland Hills. They went to synagogue to celebrate the High Holy Days, and when they were old enough, they went to Israel on Birthright. Today, they celebrate Shabbat with their community in L.A.
“I’m a queer, non-binary, very progressive Jew, and the Jewish community I belong to is also very progressive,” they said.
“You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” which focuses on the Jewish community but also features a diverse cast of supporting actors, tells a story that anyone who has been a teenager can relate to.
“My hope is that people start to embrace our differences by celebrating our similarities,” Cohen said. “I want people to learn about being Jewish and to say, ‘Hey, we have something like that too!’ I also love this lesson that we all make mistakes. It the choices you make to correct those mistakes that matter most.”
In their work, Cohen hopes to continue creating movies that showcase people from all different backgrounds and encourage unity among audiences.
“I want to make films that make people feel seen, accepted and celebrated for who they are,” they said. “I want to make films that remind us how much we have in common. I want to make films that give people permission to be themselves.“
