Book Review: ‘The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting’

Comedy writer Rob Kutner’s latest book, “The Jews: 5000 Years and Counting,” is a hilarious and informative Judaism lesson wrapped in a comedy special — equal parts Monty Python’s ‘Life of Brian’ and “The Daily Show.” This is the kind of bar/bat mitzvah gift that stays on the bookshelf far into adulthood.

Best known for his writing on “The Daily Show” and “Conan,” Kutner doesn’t just tell Jewish history — he roasts it, celebrates it as it flies through five millenniums of punchlines.

The book, published by Wicked Son Press, is well-researched and presents Jewish history in a satirical and engaging way. A book like this can easily take a detached or nihilistic route. Kutner does neither, the book remains warm until the end. The chapters can really be read in any order. Start with the chapter where King David gets a ‘Rock Star Documentary,’ or the chapter where King Solomon becomes a wise guy stand-up comic.

The book delivers laughs the way the best “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” sketches back in the 1990s and early 2000s— big, absurd and goofy. Kutner’s writing feels like the surreal bits seen on that show packaged in Jewish history, where biblical figures become these oversized, ridiculous characters, yet somehow still remains informative.

“I wanted to go big with these figures, the way Conan would,” Kutner said. He reimagines the great rabbis of Jewish history as action figures, each with their own special power. His son was into Pokémon at the time, so why not ordain those characters and give them a yad?

“These incredibly cerebral, quiet guys sitting in dark rooms scratching away on scrolls — what if they were ninja warriors?” Kutner wondered as he wrote.

In a chapter titled, “World Repair Service,” the book dives into how Jewish immigrants to the U.S. in the 20thcentury were advocates of workers’ rights, civil rights and women’s rights. It sounds encyclopedic, but the facts are qualified with hilariously-written truth bombs.

“Jews know what it’s like to be exploited workers (read: unpaid under the hot Egyptian sun). And we invented the Day of Rest. We’ve been trying to share both of those ideas for centuries. No matter how many times we get labeled ‘Commie Pigs.’”

“Jews know what it’s like to be exploited workers (read: unpaid under the hot Egyptian sun). And we invented the Day of Rest. We’ve been trying to share both of those ideas for centuries. No matter how many times we get labeled ‘Commie Pigs.’”

In the same chapter, Kutner writes, “Israel was a nation built to welcome, heal, and rehabilitate people fleeing terrible things from all over the world. Once it got on its feet, the Jewish state started offering these services to non-Jews everywhere. Starting in the 1970s, Israel began granting safe haven to refugees in distress from all around the globe. In the 1980s, they stepped this up by flying in crews to help nations struck by natural disasters and terrorist attacks. In 1995, Israel created a permanent government agency for this purpose.”

While “The Jews: 5000 Years and Counting” is a silly satire, it is also backed by real research. Kutner fact-checked rigorously, consulting scholars, clergy, and Jewish history experts to ensure the book stayed air-tight on Torah references, historical accuracy, and religious lore.

“You have to keep the integrity of the thing you’re making fun of,” Kutner said. “Otherwise, it’s just a dumb joke.”

For historical grounding, he worked with historian Paul Lerner of USC and Jewish history expert Jarrod Tanny, among many others in the acknowledgements.

“I was trying to find the Venn diagram of Jewish historians with a sense of humor and a sense of perspective,” Kutner told The Journal. “There’s plenty of funny Jews, and there are plenty of historians, but historians tend to be very serious or have a lot of gravitas. I needed people who could handle both.”

He also wanted input from those who study Torah and Jewish law seriously.

“A lot of the Torah references, I ran by people who are either rabbis or well-versed in Jewish texts, just to make sure I wasn’t misrepresenting something,” Kutner said. “It’s funny, because people think a book like this just kind of flows out, but you’d be surprised how many drafts and double-checks go into even the silliest jokes.”

There’s a Jewish pirate during a section on the 15th century Spanish Inquisition. There’s even a debate between the founders of, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism. Kutner writes, “May the best movement win! Or — to manage expectations within Jewish history — survive.

“I didn’t want to make it feel like a classroom lecture,” Kutner said. “I wanted it to feel like you’re watching something unfold in a way that’s fun but still teaches you something.” Kutner also believes the book is valuable for non-Jewish audiences.

“There are a lot of people who are just allies or curious about Judaism,” Kutner said. “This is a way to bring them up to speed without making them dive into a 900-page tome. There are really dumb and toxic conversations happening right now around Judaism and Jewish history, and I’d like to think this book could help disarm some of them.”

“The Jews” shows how through 5,000 years, humor is one of the reasons the Jewish people have persisted.

“One of the responses I’ve been getting is, ‘How can you laugh at a time like this?’” Kutner said about early reviews of the book. “And my response is, ‘Because I’m Jewish. That’s the only choice I have.’”

“The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting” is available anywhere books are sold.