Dear Tabby: Rosh Hashanah Edition

The Jewish High Holy Days are usually preceded by Jews worldwide who run into one another and exclaim, “I can’t believe it’s already Rosh Hashanah.” This incredulousness may suggest that most of us are so busy with work and family obligations that even the thought of preparing for the next Jewish holiday renders us feeling unprepared at best, and overwhelmed at worst. And most of the latest reader questions for this “Dear Tabby: Rosh Hashanah Edition” focused on how to have a stress-free High Holy Days season. If you have a question that you would like answered in this mostly useful advice column, please email deartabby@jewishjournal.com.

Dear Tabby,

I’m kind of panicking about the chagim. Is there such a thing as a stress-free Rosh Hashanah?

Thanks,

I’m Still Recovering from Passover

Dear Recovering,

In response to your question about whether there is such a thing as a stress-free Rosh Hashanah, the answer is no. Shana Tova u’Metuka!

[Correspondence continued]

So, you’re just saying “no”?

Dear Recovering (Again),

If you’re searching for a stress-free Rosh Hashanah, such a unicorn doesn’t exist. Unless you order full catering, employ a live-in housekeeper to clean your home, a nanny to keep your kids content, an ironer to remove all those wrinkles from your holiday attire (yes, such a word exists), or a personal assistant to pick up all of the holiday attire you had washed and steamed at the dry cleaners, after firing your ironer for ruining your chiffon skirt. You can plan your menu in advance (as well as shop for groceries and cook before the holidays), clean your home and prepare as best as you can, but remember that when you allot time for such important endeavors, something’s got to give, whether it’s having to devote a few less hours to work or giving up on that fantasy of preparing Martha Stewart’s Old Vienna Apple Strudel recipe. Blessed is the one who maintains reasonable expectations of oneself (and others). And one who remembers to pick up the dry cleaning 48 hours before a Jewish holiday.

Dear Tabby,

Why am I so much more motivated to make resolutions in January for the non-Jewish new year, than for Rosh Hashanah? I just thought about it and it feels a little weird. 

Thanks,

Confused in California

Dear Confused,

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that you live in the United States, where making resolutions in January is the norm. Something tells me that if you lived in Israel this time of year, there would be an air of self-reflection and renewal, and that would uplift you to resolve to make better choices this coming year. I wish more Jews would reflect on their choices during Rosh Hashanah, rather than early January, because Rosh Hashanah is an accounting of the soul. I used to make many resolutions in January, but in hindsight, few of them had anything to do with how I treated others; they mostly focused on how to undo five weeks (if we’re counting Thanksgiving) of copious eating and drinking. This year, give Rosh Hashanah more head space. Even if you eat your body weight in challah, honey, brisket and desserts until Simchat Torah, at least you’ll have three months to diet and exercise before January. And by then, you’ll be way ahead of the rest of us. 

Dear Tabby,

How does a traditional cook maintain her sanity when preparing for chag, when she will be hosting multiple meals, each one with guests that observe different dietary restrictions (sugar-free, gluten-free and vegetarian)?

Sincerely, 

A Concerned Hostess 

Dear Amazing Hostess, 

For your sugar-free guests, mash bananas with almond flour, vanilla and salt, roll into balls and cook in the oven for dessert. For those who are gluten-free, buy chickpea pasta and pour a jar of marinara sauce over it, adding garlic, paprika, onions and Trader Joe’s vegetarian “meat” crumbles. Vegetarians can enjoy this as well. Most importantly, for yourself, buy your favorite bottle of wine, pour yourself a large glass, and take your first sip as soon as anyone asks if you prepared anything that complies with Ketogenic, Paleolithic or Blue Zone diets. 

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life for a healthy, safe and sweet new year.

Tabby Refael is an award-winning writer, speaker and weekly columnist for The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. Follow her on X and Instagram @TabbyRefael