“Wake up! It’s a coup!” my father yelled as he flung my bedroom door open at 5:45 a.m. on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. That summer, I had graduated high school and was planning to leave home for college in late September. I often slept until noon, but there was something chilling about my father’s words that compelled me to jump out of bed. Whereas most of my American-born friends may have suspected that their father was playing a practical joke, my upbringing in Iran forced me to take my father seriously.
I joined my parents in the kitchen and we stared in stupefied horror at a small television, reiterating the same thought: This can’t be happening; such unimaginable destruction only happens in the movies.
“It’s not a coup,” my mother said when she saw footage of United Airlines Flight 11 slamming into the North Tower. “The plane must have had an accident.” Yes, we agreed, this was a fluke; the plane must have had mechanical problems.
We remained glued to the television screen. And then, at 6:03 a.m Pacific Daylight Time, we watched, horrified, as Flight 175 hit the South Tower live.
My mother screamed and my father gasped. I threw myself closer to the television, mortified. A few minutes later, we learned that another plane had crashed into the western side of the Pentagon, and another had crashed in Pennsylvania.
“It is a coup,” my father repeated. “We need to prepare for the worst now.”
Some Americans who watched the horrific events of 9/11 on television felt anger. Others felt grief. My family and I felt both, but as refugees who escaped post-revolutionary Iran, we worried that the enemies we had left behind had come back for us. So we proceeded to pull out old suitcases from the back of a closet—suitcases we had last unpacked after leaving Iran over 20 years prior.
Iranians know a thing or two about coups and leaders being forcibly ousted from power: There was the 1953 coup d’état by the United States and Britain that overthrew the democratically-elected prime minister, Mohammad Mosaddegh, and kept the Shah (Mohammad Reza Pahlavi) in power. But most notorious was the 1979 revolution, in which the U.S., led by President Jimmy Carter, and Britain strengthened Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini and ensured that the Imperial Army didn’t prevent Khomeini from overthrowing the Shah. That last overthrow of power continues to sting because it turned Iran into a miserable, dangerous theocracy.
Iranians know a thing or two about coups and leaders being forcibly ousted from power.
As Iranians who had endured a revolution at the hands of fanatic Islamists, my parents and I had an inkling that morning about who had carried out the attacks in New York. “We escaped their clutches,” my father said solemnly about violent Islamists, “but look; they’ve made it here.”
“We’re not leaving America,” my mother scowled. “You want to go back to Iran?”
“No, but do you want to wait until these terrorists hit the West Coast?” my father replied.
In hindsight, the conversation was pointless; my father didn’t have an American passport. We didn’t even discuss the option of moving to Israel because the Jewish state was in the throes of the Second Intifada, in which 1,000 Israelis were killed by Palestinian terrorists.
So we stayed in that apartment on Rexford Drive, just half a block from the Beverly Hills city limit, and hung little American flags on anything we could get our hands on. Two weeks after 9/11, I began college, wondering whether I had anything in common with my peers in terms of how we were processing such devastation.
I received some clarity about young Americans (at that time, anyway) on my first day in the dormitories, when I told a group of fellow freshmen that I was from Iran. One of them quizzically responded, “Do you mean Iraq?” When I repeated that I was from Iran, a handful of them asked, “Where’s that?”
There was only one thing to do: I requested five minutes of their time to tell them more about the Middle East, and then asked, “Do you know what a coup is?”
Tabby Refael is a Los Angeles-based writer, speaker and civic action activist. Follow her on Twitter @RefaelTabby
Where Was I on September 11?
Tabby Refael
“Wake up! It’s a coup!” my father yelled as he flung my bedroom door open at 5:45 a.m. on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. That summer, I had graduated high school and was planning to leave home for college in late September. I often slept until noon, but there was something chilling about my father’s words that compelled me to jump out of bed. Whereas most of my American-born friends may have suspected that their father was playing a practical joke, my upbringing in Iran forced me to take my father seriously.
I joined my parents in the kitchen and we stared in stupefied horror at a small television, reiterating the same thought: This can’t be happening; such unimaginable destruction only happens in the movies.
“It’s not a coup,” my mother said when she saw footage of United Airlines Flight 11 slamming into the North Tower. “The plane must have had an accident.” Yes, we agreed, this was a fluke; the plane must have had mechanical problems.
We remained glued to the television screen. And then, at 6:03 a.m Pacific Daylight Time, we watched, horrified, as Flight 175 hit the South Tower live.
My mother screamed and my father gasped. I threw myself closer to the television, mortified. A few minutes later, we learned that another plane had crashed into the western side of the Pentagon, and another had crashed in Pennsylvania.
“It is a coup,” my father repeated. “We need to prepare for the worst now.”
Some Americans who watched the horrific events of 9/11 on television felt anger. Others felt grief. My family and I felt both, but as refugees who escaped post-revolutionary Iran, we worried that the enemies we had left behind had come back for us. So we proceeded to pull out old suitcases from the back of a closet—suitcases we had last unpacked after leaving Iran over 20 years prior.
Iranians know a thing or two about coups and leaders being forcibly ousted from power: There was the 1953 coup d’état by the United States and Britain that overthrew the democratically-elected prime minister, Mohammad Mosaddegh, and kept the Shah (Mohammad Reza Pahlavi) in power. But most notorious was the 1979 revolution, in which the U.S., led by President Jimmy Carter, and Britain strengthened Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini and ensured that the Imperial Army didn’t prevent Khomeini from overthrowing the Shah. That last overthrow of power continues to sting because it turned Iran into a miserable, dangerous theocracy.
As Iranians who had endured a revolution at the hands of fanatic Islamists, my parents and I had an inkling that morning about who had carried out the attacks in New York. “We escaped their clutches,” my father said solemnly about violent Islamists, “but look; they’ve made it here.”
“We’re not leaving America,” my mother scowled. “You want to go back to Iran?”
“No, but do you want to wait until these terrorists hit the West Coast?” my father replied.
In hindsight, the conversation was pointless; my father didn’t have an American passport. We didn’t even discuss the option of moving to Israel because the Jewish state was in the throes of the Second Intifada, in which 1,000 Israelis were killed by Palestinian terrorists.
So we stayed in that apartment on Rexford Drive, just half a block from the Beverly Hills city limit, and hung little American flags on anything we could get our hands on. Two weeks after 9/11, I began college, wondering whether I had anything in common with my peers in terms of how we were processing such devastation.
I received some clarity about young Americans (at that time, anyway) on my first day in the dormitories, when I told a group of fellow freshmen that I was from Iran. One of them quizzically responded, “Do you mean Iraq?” When I repeated that I was from Iran, a handful of them asked, “Where’s that?”
There was only one thing to do: I requested five minutes of their time to tell them more about the Middle East, and then asked, “Do you know what a coup is?”
Tabby Refael is a Los Angeles-based writer, speaker and civic action activist. Follow her on Twitter @RefaelTabby
Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.
Editor's Picks
Israel and the Internet Wars – A Professional Social Media Review
The Invisible Student: A Tale of Homelessness at UCLA and USC
What Ever Happened to the LA Times?
Who Are the Jews On Joe Biden’s Cabinet?
You’re Not a Bad Jewish Mom If Your Kid Wants Santa Claus to Come to Your House
No Labels: The Group Fighting for the Political Center
Latest Articles
Rabbis of LA | For Rabbi Guzik, Being a Rabbi and a Therapist ‘Are the Same Thing’
Jay Ruderman: Meaningful Activism – Not Intimidation – Makes Change Possible
It’s Good to Be a Jew
Are We Ready for Human Connection Through Glasses?
The Israel Independence Day Test: Can You Rejoice That Israel Is?
I Am the Afflicted – A poem for Parsha Tazria Metzora
BagelFest West at Wilshire Boulevard Temple, Yom HaShoah at Pan Pacific Park
Notable people and events in the Jewish LA community.
A Bisl Torah — But It’s True!
Even if the information is true, one who speaks disparagingly about another is guilty of lashon hara, evil speech.
A Moment in Time: Rooted in Time
Pioneers of Jewish Alien Fire
Print Issue: We the Israelites | April 17, 2026
What will define the Jewish future is not antisemitism but how we respond to it. Embracing our Maccabean spirit would be a good start.
Cerf’s Up!
As the publisher and co-founder of Random House, Bennett Cerf was one of the most important figures in 20th-century culture and literature.
‘Out of the Sky: Heroism and Rebirth in Nazi Europe’
As Matti Friedman demonstrates in his riveting new book, one of Israel’s greatest legends is also riddled with mysteries and open questions.
Family Ties Center ‘This Is Not About Us’
The book is not a single narrative but a novel of interconnected stories, each laced with irony, poignancy, and hilarity.
‘The Kid Officer’: Recalling an Extraordinary Life
Are We Still Comfortably Numb?
Forgiving someone on behalf of a community that is not yours is not forgiveness. It is opportunism dressed up as virtue.
Don’t Dismantle the Watchdogs — Pluralism Is Still Our Best Defense
Although institutional change can be slow, Jewish organizations fighting antisemitism have made progress…Critics may have some legitimate concerns about mission drift — but this is solved with accountability, not defunding.
A Sephardic Love Story–Eggplant Burekas
The transmission of these bureka recipes from generation to generation is a way of retaining heritage and history in Sephardic communities around the world.
National Picnic Day
There is nothing like spreading a soft blanket out in the shade and enjoying some delicious food with friends and family.
Table for Five: Tazria Metzora
Spiritual Purification
Israelis Are Winning Their War for Survival … But Are American Jews Losing It?
Israelis must become King David Jews, fighting when necessary while building a glittering Zion. Diaspora Jews must become Queen Esther Jews. Fit in. Prosper. Decipher your foreign lands’ cultural codes. But be literate, proud, brave Jews.
We, the Israelites: Embracing Our Maccabean Spirit
No one should underestimate the difficulty of the past few years. But what will define us is not the level or nature of the problem but how we deal with it.
Rosner’s Domain | Imagine There’s No Enemy …
Before Israel’s week of Remembrance and Independence, it is proper to reflect on the inherent tension between dreams and their realization.
John Lennon’s Dream – And Where It Fell Short
His message of love — hopeful, expansive, humane — inspired genuine moral progress. It fostered hope that humanity might ultimately converge toward those ideals. In too many parts of the world, that expectation collided with societies that did not share those assumptions.
Journeys to the Promised Land
Just as the Torah concludes with the people about to enter the Promised Land, leaders are successful when the connections we make reveal within us the humility to encounter the Infinite.
A Suitcase of Diamonds: Meditation on Friendship
It is made of humility, forged from the understanding that even with all our strengths, we desperately need one another.
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.