fbpx
[additional-authors]
November 2, 2022
coldsnowstorm/Getty Images

A sloppily dressed man called out, and walked quickly in my direction. I looked around to see which rabbi he was talking to and then, frighteningly, I realized he was addressing me.

Let me describe the situation. I am at a Westfield Mall, standing at the counter of a Nespresso store buying sleeves of coffee pods. I’m wearing torn up jeans, a t-shirt and flip-flops. The only thing that betrays my faith is a kippah and tzitzit strings hanging by my side.

The man approaches me intensely. “Rabbi, I need help. I’m in a terrible place. I need more meaning in my life. And I don’t know how to be happy. How can I be more happy?”

My immediate instinct was to say, “Sorry pal, I’m not a rabbi.” Thankfully, I didn’t offer up such a weak and pathetic response. Instead, I paused and considered his request. And really, what is a rabbi? A spiritual leader? Sure. Mostly, a rabbi is a teacher. Here was an opportunity to step up and be both.

I looked at the man patiently and contemplatively. I really took the moment and was present with him. Instantly, he relaxed and looked at me gratefully. It seemed like nobody had really looked at him or listened to him for quite some time. I smiled gently, “Believe it or not, you’re in the perfect place. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.” I swear, I saw him gulp. “The Jewish belief is that G-d runs the world. That means that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to. You are in the perfect place. You have a unique and essential purpose, so you don’t have to worry about meaning. You still have to do your part, but it is not your job to worry about the results. That is up to G-d.”  

I checked myself. I did not want to sound evangelical. Nevertheless I asked tenuously, “Do you believe in G-d?” He nodded emphatically. I then asked, “Do you trust G-d?” This was a question he had not anticipated. “That is the key. If you want to be happy, trust in G-d. If you want to be more spiritual, trust in G-d. If you are worried about meaning in life, trust in G-d. You don’t have to worry about the things you cannot control, that’s beyond your pay-grade. Just do your part and trust that it will work out the way it is supposed to work out.” Was I sounding like a Sunday morning preacher? I got embarrassed and almost backed away from my words until the man heaved with relief and then held me for what seemed like a long time. “Rabbi, you can’t imagine what you have done for me.”

And then he was gone.

My friend David Sacks recently said to me, “G-d has 3 three answers: Yes. Not yet. And, I’ve got something better.” What a relief it is to trust that things are working exactly as they are supposed to. How much better than to be obsessed with success, results and things that are squarely out of our control. That only leads to tension, fear and anger. The Gemara calls anger an act of avodah zarah (idol worship). If you get angry, it means that you don’t believe that things are happening the way they are supposed to. It means you don’t believe that G-d runs the world. If you did, it would be absurd to be angry because clearly what is happening is exactly as it should be.

Looking back, I am proud I didn’t shy away from the opportunity. For those precious seconds, that man endowed my life with meaning and purpose. But then, I wonder if it was audacious for me to teach something I don’t do particularly well. Trust in G-d? It’s a daily effort for me. But maybe that is part of teaching. Nobody expects me to be perfect but me. That is my ego out of control.

Truly, that man gave me much more than he took. In that moment, I stepped up and trusted G-d. Maybe he was a malach, a messenger, there to give the lesson to me.


Daniel Kaufman is a filmmaker and writer. You can follow his blog “Confessions of an Orthodox Sinner” at: https://www.facebook.com/orthodoxsinner

Did you enjoy this article?
You'll love our roundtable.

Editor's Picks

Latest Articles

Print Issue: Got College? | Mar 29, 2024

With the alarming rise in antisemitism across many college campuses, choosing where to apply has become more complicated for Jewish high school seniors. Some are even looking at Israel.

More news and opinions than at a
Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.

More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.