Moses was the Best… Sponsor?

Did you know that some midrashists suggest that less than 20% of the Jewish people actually left Egypt during the exodus? Change can be difficult, even if it’s for the best. As we celebrate the miracle in those days at this time, we can see ourselves as if we’re leaving our own Egypts today, whether that is addiction, anxiety, depression or something else.

Rabbi Mendy Lipskier, Rabbi Dr. Chaim Tureff and Rabbi Yosef Lipsker — three rabbis who specialize in addiction recovery — shared just some of the symbols and opportunities of Passover that can inspire our personal journeys to freedom.

Hannah Prager: How would you compare slavery in Egypt to slavery in addiction?

Rabbi Mendy Lipskier: What is a slave? Someone who doesn’t have the freedom to do what they want to do. They are beholden to a master. They cannot decide when they want to go to sleep, wake up, what profession to go into — they have to do whatever their master says they must do. That’s what the Jews experienced in Egypt… Egypt is not just a geographical place. Egypt is a state of being, a state of mind.

Any recovering addict will definitely confirm that when in addiction, you are a slave to your addiction, to your substance [or behavior] of choice, whether that’s alcohol, pornography, gambling or drugs. Your entire life is consumed by that addiction. That addiction is going to dictate to you when you go to sleep, if you go to sleep, who you hang around with, what kind of job you get, whether you keep that job… It is a sort of slavery to that addiction.

HP: What comes to mind when you think of Pharaoh?

Rabbi Mendy Lipskier: Pharaoh represents ego, the master of slavery, of our own personal Egypts. It is ego, this sense that I cannot let go, the only thing I have is control, that holds us back from being free… It may be helpful for the addict to know, I’ll only really know who I am once I surrender. Once that fake ego gets out of the way, I can meet my true self, and my true self is really one with G-d, which is so powerful. [It takes courage to let go of the] fake ego that will never let go of this sense of control.

Rabbi Yosef Lipsker: I like to joke that Pharaoh himself was an addict. He swore up and down he wouldn’t do another plague, and then he kept on relapsing with his behavior… He relapsed after the worst plague of all, the death of the firstborn. He still couldn’t stop himself, even though his life was in danger. He was about to be killed, and he knew it.

HP: What does Moses symbolize?

Rabbi Yosef Lipsker: Moses was a sponsor, basically. Moses was someone who was objective, and he was able to look at the situation and guide people. The failure of the golden calf is often misunderstood because the people felt that Moses may have been a problem. They wanted to have something that can’t talk back, something static. But that’s addictive thinking: No one should tell me what to do, I’ll create an object, this object will tell me what to do, but I don’t want anyone telling me what to do, looking at me, critiquing me. They were not necessarily bad; they were thinking, this is the best thing.

Like most people, they don’t think they’re doing something wrong… But eventually when you step back, you’re able to see the value of [an objective person] integrated into your life, and that’s why the idea of having a sponsor is so important. This is also an idea for those that don’t want recovery, for those people who need guidance.

HP: What is freedom?

Rabbi Dr. Chaim Tureff: Being more present, being in the moment. It’s not easy, and that has nothing to do with addiction. I think for most people, it’s difficult to be in the moment. It’s hard not to live in the past or in the future. Not being a slave is the ability to be in that moment.

“Not being a slave is the ability to be in that moment.”

This relates to an idea in Derech Hamelech, Ushpizat Yitzchak, taught by Yiscah Smith. “Each person is obligated to see himself (as if he left Egypt) — if, in fact, he is present. For if he has already come out of Egypt, and he experiences life through the lens of presence, there is no longer the need to be in exile in order to find pieces of his soul. For the state of being in exile is only when a person is not present.”

HP: What does breaking the matzah relate to?

Rabbi Mendy Lipskier: [When breaking the matzah, we remember the breaking point of the Jewish people. Moses asked Pharaoh to let them go, creating a flicker of hope. Pharaoh then responded by assigning more intensive labor. This was too much to handle… ] There was one last straw that G-d was waiting for to break the camel’s back… When the Jews were so demoralized, so broken, completely surrendered, at that point, G-d can say, now I’m able to take them out of Egypt.

Rabbi Yosef Lipsker: Sometimes you have to be broken. I see it every day — people when they’re broken. [Breaking the matzah is like breaking the shell around someone’s heart — all of a sudden, you can reach in.] It allows people to enter into your sphere. The toughest people I see, people that are lawyers, doctors, leaders, they never open up about their own personal challenges. [But] here you see brokenness gives them the chance to feel vulnerable, and that vulnerability is a good thing. It’s a time to be open.

HP: How often should we remember the exodus?

Rabbi Yosef Lipsker: Every single day, we have to remember the exodus from Egypt. The reason is every single day, we have to get up and begin the process of recovery again, the process of redemption.

I once said to myself, I’m going to release myself from any resentments I have… And then I started a fresh day. I got up in the morning, I’m all clean, all ready to take on the work, [but] by 11:00 in the morning, I already have 25 new resentments. Our MO is always looking for why didn’t this person do this, why didn’t this happen that way… so you can’t say I’m going to just do it, I’m going to get rid of my problems, and then I’m all free. Like a diet, every single day, you’ve got to do it.

HP: What’s the best way to tell the story of Passover?

Rabbi Mendy Lipskier: When we sit down at the seder table — hopefully with family and friends — we’re not just going to share our shared history as a people, but [we will also share] a personal experience, [how] G-d took me out of my own Egypt.

When I can be vulnerable at my seder table, that’s the greatest thing I can do for my fellow Jew who may be suffering silently, who doesn’t know that this is something that everyone deals with on some level. But if I’m willing to share my story of liberation from bondage at the seder table, that will allow someone else to find the courage for some humility and to surrender and find their own redemption.

May we find a deeper level of freedom every year.

Chag Sameach!

This interview has been edited for clarity.

Hannah Prager is the Community Relations Specialist for Soberman’s Estate, and a volunteer for Moishe House. Soberman’s Estate is a treatment center for men with alcoholism, substance use disorders and co-occurring issues, and provides kosher food accommodations and rabbinical support. To learn more or for personalized resources, call the Admissions Director at 480-595-2222 or visit www.SobermansEstate.com.