Dear all,
I recently officiated at my 175th wedding since beginning my tenure at Temple Akiba 20 years ago.
Curious, I looked back at my records. Each wedding brought back memories of couples, families, beautiful settings, and occasionally unexpected adventures.
The year with the most weddings was 2008, when I officiated at 23. Many LGBTQ couples were eager to marry before California voters decided whether to take away that right.
The year with the fewest was 2020, when COVID brought so much of life to a standstill.
But the numbers only tell part of the story.
I often ask couples, “Why is it important to you to be married by a rabbi or cantor?” After all, these days, anyone can ask a friend to officiate.
The answers have been wonderfully varied.
“Being connected to the Jewish community matters to us.”
“A friend can officiate our wedding. But a rabbi and a community can help us build our marriage.”
“After October 7, I felt an even greater need to support Jewish institutions.”
“You’ve been there for every important moment in our family’s life.”
And, of course, there’s always something like: “My cousin’s best friend’s aunt knew someone who recommended another rabbi, but she wasn’t available, so I Googled you!”
I’ll take it!
What moves me most is that a wedding is not simply a celebration of two people finding each other. It is a statement of the life they hope to build. Standing beneath the chuppah, they invite Jewish tradition, community, and generations into that life.
A wedding lasts a moment in time. A marriage is built over a lifetime.
I have been privileged to stand with 175 couples at the beginning of a new chapter. But the greater honor is being part of a community that can accompany them through the chapters that follow.
The chuppah eventually comes down. But the relationships, the commitments, and the community endure.
And that is worth celebrating.
With love and Shalom,
Rabbi Zachary R. Shapiro
