Recently, several fathers passed suddenly in my circle. I thought about lessons they might have wanted to share with their daughters but lacked the courage. Here’s a list I made before it’s too late.
1- Love yourself, always. Even if you love yourself half as much as I love you, you will achieve amazing things and you will not tolerate being treated with anything less than absolute tenderness and respect.
2- Every day I am with you, I learn more about myself. The best part of me happens when I am around you.
3- No matter what you say, in my eyes, no person will ever be good enough for you.
4- I will always be your daddy. It is an honor and a privilege that you chose me. I gladly accept the responsibility.
5- Avoid fashion magazines. They try to make you feel ugly as you are, so that you buy what they advertise. You are my beautiful angel. They don’t care about you, just your money.
6- I will do my best to respect your mother and your sister, knowing that I influence your choice of future partners by how I treat them, and much I show them love.
7- I will never mistake ‘buying’ your love for ‘earning’ your love. I can give you things with ease, but it is only when I give of myself to you that I truly give.
8- You will make mistakes and I will still love you. Forgive yourself. I will forgive you. Remember, I make mistakes too. Please forgive me as well.
9- Include me in your world. I want to know what is happening with you. I want to know what music you like, what books you enjoy. When you are happy, I am joyous.
10- Sometimes you feel that I don’t understand or ‘hear’ you, but that’s because I just want to ‘fix’ things for you, rather than do what I know I should, which is ‘be there’ for you and hold you while you cry. I do this because, as your dad, I don’t want to feel helpless when I see you in pain.
11- As you grow and change, I might find it difficult to be as affectionate with you as I was when you were a kid. Don’t ever let that make you feel uncomfortable with yourself. You are and will always be my little girl, my baby.
12- Don’t set limits for yourself because you are a ‘girl’. You are a woman, immaculate in every way. Elevate yourself to stand as a person of character, integrity, strength and values. Be gracious and filled with poise. Your character is much more interesting than any physical attributes.
13- In giving someone your heart, stay true to yourself and take your time. Follow your heart, but remain clear on what’s important. Don’t be afraid to be happy. Make sure your partner is as strong as they are kind. Don’t try to change each other. You should feel proud, confident and at ease if your partner speaks for you. Fairytales exists, but must be viewed through the prism of two people sharing a life that has peaks and valleys, weathering life’s storms together as well as celebrating its beauty.
14- Don’t have any financial expectations. Money buys some freedom and offers more choices. But money doesn’t buy happiness, love or meaning. The best things in life come from within.
15- Create peace and meaning in your life. Find extraordinary excitement even in the ordinary. Don’t let life pass you by. Delve into different things, live deliberately, be passionate, explore, dream, discover. Remain aware of the world around you. Magic happens when you realize that you are not the center of the universe, but that you are part of a vibrating, living universe. The universe is an orchestra and you are an instrument. You choose the melody you will play. Find the harmony in yourself and in others, but remember to show up and play.
16- Find joy and peace in the simple things. Appreciate the small stuff- when you wake up in a warm bed, when you have a full belly, when you can laugh.
And one day, I hope you too can give advice to your children.
* Adapted and edited by permission from original post by Daniel Meyerov.
