She had 15 abortions in 16 years, and today Irene Villar, a literary agent and editor, is being having her story published as a book, “Impossible Motherhood.” From ABC News:
“This book really isn’t about using abortion as birth control,” [Dr. Lauren Streicher of Northwestern] told ABCNews.com. “She is unconsciously sabotaging contraception for self-mutilation. It’s a way of escaping feeling empty.”
“It’s an interesting book and she writes beautifully,” said Streicher, who hosts the nationally syndicated radio show for medical professionals, Reach MD. “But by her very admission, she is a psychologically disturbed woman.”
Ultimately, after some self-discovery and nursing her beloved dying dog, Vilar ends her dysfunctional marriage. She finds stability and love with a new husband, a writer and poet, and she builds a new family, reveling in the motherhood she once thought was impossible.
“Does that just end overnight? ” asked Streicher. “The death of your dog, the birth of your child? You still fight your demons.”
But Vilar blames much of her poor choices on a hypersexualized society that at once values the perfect mother, but also expects women to be sexually attractive to men and to achieve professionally.
“Women have a deep need for agency, for purpose and direction and society is not providing natural and healthy channels for creative action,” she said.
“In school and on TV, every message I get is what I am doing as a mother or wife is wrong,” said Vilar. “I should be thinking about a profession and not mothering. Everyone is having babies, and yet they don’t want to care for them.
“Are many of the repeat abortions in part an embodiment of this mixed message? A lost, ambivalent attempt at an act of agency that cannot find its proper vessel? “
It’s not clear when Villar had these abortions. Though I guess we could deduce, based on her age and the age of her children, that it was between 18 and 34. It’s shocking how casually the abortions are talked about in this story from ABC News. But probably the saddest thing is the complete lack of self-responsibility Villar exhibits. Tragic, really.
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