During the Hebrew month of Elul, God is said to be waiting for us in the “field.” This means that God is closer, more accessible, and eager for us to be nearby. Before the High Holy Days, we speak about engaging in teshuvah, intense repentance, where we attempt to return to a path of reconciliation, sensitivity, compassion, and love. But what happens when the path we are trying to reach is blocked?
And what do we do with the idea that we might be the obstacle, that we might be the very person who stands in our own way?
We recite Psalm 27 each morning of Elul. The Psalmist cries out, “Hide not your face from me…Forsake me not, nor abandon me.” The Psalmist pleads with God to listen to his prayers and angst, begging God to not forget him. But I also think the prayer is one of self-reflection. Elul reminds us that often, we hide from ourselves. We abandon our goals, dreams, and ambitions. We forsake ourselves because early self-rejection seems easier than falling short of a seemingly unimaginable future. When we think about the relationships that deserve repair, we hide from our own sense of accountability and responsibility.
But what if we didn’t hide? What if we looked in the mirror and admitted that this year, we can and will do better—that we will actively remove ourselves from blocking the path between our open hearts and God’s open hands?
In this new year, we must get out of our own way. God is waiting in the field…who are we to delay the process of return?
Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tovah
Rabbi Nicole Guzik is senior rabbi at Sinai Temple. She can be reached at her Facebook page at Rabbi Nicole Guzik or on Instagram @rabbiguzik. For more writings, visit Rabbi Guzik’s blog section from Sinai Temple’s website.
